#htmusings

[oeuvrebyhermes]

One like ours

When I transitioned from being a young adult into a full-fledged adult, I taught myself to be independent — to navigate life without relying on anyone else.

If I want something, I buy it myself. If I’m craving good food, I treat myself. If I’m exhausted and need a break, I never hesitate to spend on my own peace and wellness.

But everything feels different when I’m with you.

Being self-reliant has become second nature to me, yet your quiet acts of service remind me how comforting it is to know that someone has my back when the world feels too heavy and I can no longer carry everything on my own.

When I get lost because I’m terrible with directions and my only solution is to cry, you’re there beside me even in the middle of the night.

When the waiter forgets the warm water I asked for, you don’t wait for me to remind them. You simply get up and ask for it yourself.

When the car gets too cold, you adjust the air conditioning without me saying a word, even if it means you'll be the one feeling warm instead.

When I’ve had a terrible day at work, you answer my call on the first ring and let me vent, even when I’m being unnecessarily dramatic.

You have never made me feel like I’m too much or not enough. You have never made me question whether I deserve to be treated with kindness. You simply show up.

You are my best friend, after all.

And that’s what best friends do. They show up in both the brightest moments and the darkest ones. They wipe away your tears after life has knocked you down, and then laugh with you — and sometimes at you — over all the ridiculous things you somehow get yourself into.

With you, I never feel the need to keep my guard up. I never have to pretend to be stronger than I am.

It’s the kind of platonic love that asks for nothing but gives everything. The kind of friendship that makes people believe soulmates don’t always have to be romantic.

And if there’s one relationship anyone could envy, I think it would be one like ours.

[oeuvrebyhermes]

Falling in and out of love so many times in the past just wore and burned me out in the process. Sure, I miss the thrill, I miss the butterflies in my stomach, and I miss everything that comes with sharing a piece, if not all, of my heart with somebody else.

The thing is, I've been told that love should never be hard to find. I've been (or probably still am) a victim of the cliche saying, "If it's meant for you, it will come," but until when should I wait? Is it a blessing or a curse? No one knows for sure.

I'm not one to shy away from pursuing something or someone I love. I've always loved that about myself — always going after what I want until I get to call it mine. But as I grow older, I realized how it also made me very cautious of people and things that are worth my energy. Is it a blessing or a curse? No one knows for sure.

I like someone, and while I hate to admit how it's been so confusing lately, I decided to pine, albeit not seeing any light from the tunnel I'm currently walking on. But the point is, the thrill is there, the butterflies are there, and my heart is so ready to be enchanted. All I need is a hundred percent reciprocation because I have never entertained half-assed interest. Is it a blessing or a curse? No one knows for sure.

[oeuvrebyhermes]

The Philippines is weeping. 

Words are my sharpest weapon, that’s why during this time of pure deception, it’s what I’ll give.

Hindi ako makagalaw kagabi. Tulo lang nang tulo ang luha hanggang ngayon. Pero mas nananaig pa rin na mahalin at ipaglaban ka ulit, Pilipinas.

Nung Miting De Avance ni Leni sa Ayala, damang dama ko ang Bayanihan. Gusto kong mas maging mabuting tao nung naramdaman ko mismo na posible palang maging ganito ang Pilipinas. Posible pala talagang tumindig, at ang kapalit, may titindig din sa tabi mo—aalalayan ka. 

When all is said and done, may trabaho pa rin akong babalikan, may pagkaing kakainin at may bahay na uuwian. But I couldn’t say the same to others. Ang tanging hiling ko lang, kung anong ipinangako sa inyo, sana maibigay.

Sana mali kami, sana tama kayo.

Sabi nga ni Robredo, ang dami nang nagising na Pilipino, kaya simula palang ito. 

Sa lahat ng tumindig sa dapat at tama, keep showing up to others and to yourself. We’re all broken right now… pero tuloy ang laban. 

[oeuvrebyhermes]

Hope starts here.

The first time I posted this photo was in December 2021. With so much hope, I wrote in the caption, "My 2022 President." At that time, she didn't have any further political plans.

All she was busy about was the pandemic response and being the Vice President that she has been for the past five years — proactive, listening, always working.

Starting today, Oct. 7, 2021, things are about to change for the Philippines... hopefully, as Leni Robredo has officially announced her candidacy for President in May 2022 polls.

Hope starts here, and I'll rally behind this woman whatever happens.

—Indeed, Let Leni Lead.

[oeuvrebyhermes]

Tonight, I weep

5 May 2020—A day I will never forget as a journalist. A day when one of the largest media entity in the Philippines was forced to shut down.

It's a nationwide threat against press freedom; A threat to thousands of people losing their jobs from hereon.

I'm so mad that this history unfolding right in front of my eyes brought me to nowhere but tears. My words are my sharpest weapon, but now I'm at a loss.

I stand with ABS-CBN, along with my fellow journalists, against this abuse. This isn't the end of it, though, that I know for sure. We may cry tonight, but tomorrow we will rise with louder voices.

Pilipinas, huwag kang pasisiil. 

[oeuvrebyhermes]

Free press, no more.

Two months after ABS-CBN was shut down, the media giant remains off-air as the congress rejects its franchise application.

No word can express the heartbreak that I’m feeling today as a journalist. No sentence can describe the fear I have for the loss of the freedom of the press.

But right now, this is what I’m sure of: As long as I live, as long as I have a pen and paper in my hand, I will make sure that history will remember you, Duterte. I will make sure that the future generations will never forget your name, and how you turned this whole country into your personal trash bin.

This fight is far from over.

Sa lahat ng tuta ng administrasyong ‘to, magsaya na kayo ngayong araw. Pero bukas, lalaban ang bayan. Lalaban ang mamamayan.

Hold the line. Courage on. Defend Press Freedom. 

[oeuvrebyhermes]

A cure for the self

The lockdown has given me so much time to reflect. And today’s pondering is all about people who only appears in your life whenever they need something from you.

This is a tricky topic because, at some point in our lives, I’m pretty sure we’ve all been one to somebody. But the reason I’m writing this is, I can’t help but notice some similar patterns from certain people, even in isolation.

Some people will only blow up your phone whenever they ask for something, you know. Some others will only knock at your door when it’s convenient for them. And the worst ones are those who will totally “ghost” you after they decide you’re not useful anymore.

And these types of people? They aren’t meant to be kept. When you start being aware of actions that don’t serve you right or drains you out, it’s crucial to pivot urgently and save yourself from a treatment you don’t deserve. Because indeed, there are people who are willing to be there with you in all seasons of your life. Not just when they need something from you, but also during the times when they have to be by your side celebrating victories of your life, big or small.

I read a quote online that says, “you can unfollow people in real life, too,” and it’s true. Oftentimes, we’re confiding in the idea that just because we’ve been friends with this person for so long or they’re family, we just can’t say no to them anymore, but actually, you could. If it’s for yourself, you sure can.

Being stuck at home for almost two months now has made me realize the importance of genuine friendships, unconditional love, and the simple joys of life. You don’t need a lot of people around you. You need just a few who will stick around even from afar, and even in the worst of times. This pandemic has made me appreciate the people I choose to keep and grateful to be aware of the ties that need to be cut.

A cure for the self isn’t only inner works; it’s also managing what you take from the outside—from the people you surround yourself with and from the environment you put yourself in.

[oeuvrebyhermes]

Did we get a star?

It was five in the afternoon, and I was preparing for a night out with my best friend.

I invited her to be my plus-one at a TV series launch party. Normally, I wouldn’t stay out late for events like this, but there was something in the air that told me I should go. The fact that guests were allowed to bring a companion made the decision even easier. At least I wouldn’t have to force conversations with acquaintances.

I arrived at my best friend’s flat wearing a black asymmetrical long-sleeved top paired with a black mini skirt that made my legs look longer than they are. For a pop of color, I slipped on orange block heels.

While waiting for her to finish getting dressed, I scrolled through Instagram stories until I landed on yours. It was a group photo at a Michelin-listed restaurant somewhere in Hanoi. I remembered loving the food on my yearly visit, so I replied.

“I loved that place!”

“Me too! Have you been recently?” you replied two hours later.

“I try to go every year. ”

“Let's go together next time?"

I reacted with a heart emoji and left the conversation. I can do small talk very well.

On our way to dinner, another notification from you popped up. This time, it had nothing to do with our earlier exchange—or maybe it did. Like most of our conversations, it circled back to food.

A huge part of my job involves visiting restaurants and writing about them. I assumed you already knew that, which is why you reached out again. You asked for recommendations around the metro, and I was reminded that a year earlier you had also asked me where to eat for a celebration that meant a lot to you.

"You can say that I'm one of the lucky ones," you said after our conversation wandered from restaurants in and out of the metro to the strange reality of living in the age of social media.

"What makes you say that?"

“I know very well that I can trust you with this kind of stuff."

“Are you sure about that?"

That was all it took. The switch flipped, and the banter only the two of us seemed to understand came alive.

I didn’t know it then, but if I had known what I know now, I would have ended the conversation right there.

Then again, can you blame me?