Apr 26, 2022
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“Walls”
My insecure boy.
Kojo R. Iwasaki (c) Lex S
Why I Cried When I Hugged Myself
I experienced something I have never felt before. After what I thought was the healthiest relationship of my life, my boyfriend broke up with me. Just like that all communication ceased and I was left alone desperately yearning for him. I cried, I needed friends, attention from other guys. I was begging to him crying that I wanted him back. Five days had past and I was no better. Still hoping for him to come home, hug me and tell me everything will be okay.
That is when I realized. Maybe I will give myself a hug because I really need one and theres no one here. And so I did. Crying in front of the mirror I wrapped my arms around myself and said "I love you. Everything will be okay". And I cried even harder. I have never nurtured my inner me. All the inner me wanted was love not from anyone in the world but myself. My inner me loves me for who I am and casts no judgement. While I was yearning for love, validation and approval from others my inner me was yearning for love from myself. In that moment I realized that I did not need a guy to feel loved. I am love. I just needed myself.
I felt an explosion of love in my heart like confetti or fireworks on the 4th of July. My inner me was like a neglected child that I started to listen too. This started my journey of self love.
New study says crossing your arms confuses your brain to relieve your pain.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-willpower/201105/hugging-yourself-reduces-physical-pain
You know those fluffs where the characters keep getting confused by each other and assume things because they don’t think the other would possibly like them? So you’re just sitting there reading it and folding into yourself with embarrassment and hope at the same time. It’s such a strange feeling, but I can’t be the only one that has a physical reaction to fluff.