Instant love is great and all but... Harry and Snape meeting after the war and first being all bitch I thought you were dead bitch I thought YOU were dead, then being super awkward and then finding their way on not being at each other's throats and actually enjoying each other's company (I've been trying to write a fic on it but since it never seems to come out I just want the community to appreciate the scenario)
I think the more tender feelings will take time to develop with them, mostly because they just both have a lot of baggage and their relationship was shit for years. I mean… Snape and Harry. Jesus, I wouldn’t even know where to start, they have so many issues. It wouldn’t be like instant cup noodles where you add some water and mix it up and voilà - they’re suddenly happy and in love.
The reason why Snarry is so difficult to pull off is because it’d have to be very slow burn for it to be realistic. This isn’t friends to lovers, it’s not like they could just kiss and everything would be alright. They hated each other, they never truly understood each other, or wished to understand the other (until Harry saw Snape’s memories at least). I think they would fall in love through mutual understanding of darkness, which includes their shitty childhoods, Albus and Voldemort. And snark. Both of them like quick wit and sass, and while they don’t appreciate when it’s aimed to belittle them (it’s why Snape never liked Harry’s sass and why Harry only appreciated Snape’s when he didn’t know it was him - aka Half Blood Prince), they would certainly come to were the cards played right. I think your idea is a very realistic way of them falling in love. Someone like Snape doesn’t turn soft overnight, if he did chill out enough to not bite Harry at the simplest sassy comeback, it’d be years after war. Many years of him dealing with himself. Snape has lots of issues and if he and Harry got together before he had time to truly deal with them they would both pour their emotional shit out of the other.
I like the idea of them getting together after war as much as I like them getting together after Harry’s already had a family. I think they’d be very different however. A 20 yo Harry and a 40 yo Snape would interact differently to a 40 yo Harry and a 60 yo Snape. Wizards age slower but I think they’d both find it embarrassing to be hot headed around each other at that age. Sure, they’d still piss each other off sometimes, but it’s nothing compared to their younger selves.
Right after war, neither of them really know who they are or what they want to do. Snape never expected to survive, and neither did Harry. Their emotions and feelings are all over the place, they have too many demons on their back. Of course they wouldn’t just kiss kiss fall in love. So yes, I love the idea of them barking at each other like angry dogs until they realize they kinda actually maybe PERHAPS like being together and would feel like something was missing if the other decided not to put up with their bullshit anymore and just left.
Snape might try to convince himself that Harry barging into his home and taking over his space pisses him off, but the reality is that Harry makes that old, ugly house warmer and Snape feels much colder when he’s not there. He might complain that Harry asks too many questions but in reality he loves explaining things to him, likes the feeling of usefulness. And Harry might be annoyed at the fact that while yes, Snape is a hero and his bravery is something he admires, he’s still a goddamn asshole who loves to complain about everything, especially Harry. But Harry starts to see through it, he sees Snape’s loneliness and fear of letting anyone too close (it’s easy to recognize traits that you have yourself) and starts to enjoy his comments more (that aren’t aimed at him - and Snape starts to make less as time goes by), laugh at his dry humour and not take it personally when Snape throws a tantrum again.
They’ll probably bump noses while they try to kiss for the first time, and taking off their clothes while they try and get to the bed is awkward and hurried, and Harry’s way too eager and Snape’s body still hurts. But it’s perfect, in a way. It’s just how they are.
