Literally fighting my own mind for a year and just when my thoughts got more detailed than ever (suicidal thoughts way deeper than ever on my life) we had to leave our apartm1ent due to the leasing and me forgetting to report a raise. Thank god our roommates and friends weren't effected which is why we were like IF WE LWAVE NOW. AN THEY STAY PLEASE. So we moved back in with my family one December 1, 2021. Mom, dad, brother, and my 10 year old nephew.
My brother and I have always bumped heads but have always been close.
Christmas eve morning we sad by to our parents as they were driving to Arkansas to see my grandma. Like 3 hrs later I told him I was gonna go see if I could find any of the Mario Legos. I said, " I'll be back dude." He said, "You runnin a fever?" "YUP!MURRY CRIFFMAH!" He laughed and said to be careful and he and my nephew were probably gonna be gone all day to give B and I some time to do what we needed without He or Kai in the way. I said, "Okay Bubba. See ya later on then."
That was the last I saw my brother. I was only gone 2 hours IF that. I came home, snuggled the sleepy wife for a few before a morning smoke. She said Keith had already left for the gym with Kai.. We were talking about Christmas morning when my friend called. Now we have literally never phoned each other. We just text and hang out. So I knew something was up when she called me on fb messenger. So I was confused and answered. She told me my brother had a heart attack.
He had aneurysm. Hit the floor and had a heart attack. A family friend started cpr til the ambulance got there. After they got his heart beating again he had a stroke that caused a clot to for and burst in the matter of hours. My brother died 9:14 pm December 26, 2021. My head lay on his chest til the machines aloud his last breath. We stayed with him long enough for his soul to leave. And my world hasn't been the same since.
My biggest trigger. My greatest protector. The biggest pain in my ass. My best friend. My hero.
Health af. JUST turned 36. Heavy weight lifter. Tattoo artist. Human rights activist.
I've lost SO many people in my life. A lot as a teenager. Even more in the most recent years. 3 of which were my best friends before they left this world. So much pain from seeing them go and seeing their families hurt. Nothing has hurt like this. It's literally like losing a part of yourself. It's been 3 months and a week and I still expect him to walk through the door. Still waiting for him to marry Pati.. The pain I feel...the pain I'm feeling from my mom and dad...it's the worst thing I've ever felt.
October 3, 1985 - December 26, 2021
