This is painful to admit, but I've let myself fall off the wagon again. 😔 I've been getting really down on myself recently for: • not having the energy to keep up with the world around me • feeling ashamed that I'm not further along than I am in life • worrying that there's something wrong with me because I'm not immediately drawn to 1:1 work as a Projector • feeling like I've let people down because I haven't been my 100% self • letting joy and fun sink to the bottom of my priority list • struggling with balancing life in general So many shadows. So many things to work through. And I know subconsciously I'm sifting through it, but outwardly it looks as though I'm literally doing nothing. There's so much I want to get back into the groove of doing, but I'm so drained and exhausted that I haven't done it. I feel like I'm in a black hole. 🕳 Arguably though, this is a cycle of mine, of Gate 1. Gate 1's shadow is Entropy. Nothingness. Melancholy. And at times, it triggers my lifelong battle with depression. There's nothing I can really do about these times other than accept that they happen, know it's not going to be around for forever, and use what happens as a creative basis. So here I am, using my voice as an outlet for this creative expression of darkness. It's not pretty. It's not fun. But it is a part of life. And life has ups and downs. I'm in a down right now. But I know an up is coming. Just living this Rollercoaster of emotions that is life 🎢 (Also, I'm an undefined Emotional center, yet I still ride my own moodiness waves from a few key gates. But that's a topic for another day) #humandesignlife #humandesignprojector #humandesign #humandesigngate1 #humandesignprojectors #humandesignforbusiness #humandesignmanifestation #humandesignembodiment #livingmyhumandesign #humandesignguide #humandesignpodcast (at Detroit, Michigan) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cb8ymjzsJfH/?utm_medium=tumblr