(Note: Each ‘she’ is a different girl.)
“Hi, can I have that?”
Her voice is timid, her smile is small, she is pointing at my friendship.
I smile widely and nod, handing it over joyfully.
I’ve never given it away before.
Others come over now and greet me shyly.
“Can we have some too?”
They point to my friendship in her hands.
She eyes them warily, but I give her a smile.
“It’s okay, I have more than one.”
I pass them along.
We all share smiles and they say thank you and leave.
A few years later she comes to me with tears in her eyes, face splotched with red.
“Can I have those?” She asks, pointing at my help and affection.
I hand them over without question.
She sits with me for a few moments, then leaves and does not come back.
“Why can’t I have this?” Another asks.
Her eyes glint with anger as she points to my understanding.
Panic chokes me and I hurriedly press it into her hands.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”
“Whatever.”
She walks away and I’m left to wonder if I did something wrong.
“Give it to me.” She says and points at my time.
I put on a shaky smile and hand it over.
I am happy to give of myself for my friends, but I am running out of things.
Normally I’d expect to get something back from them, but if they have to ask for mine then I know they don’t have their own.
So I keep giving.
Isn’t that what good friends do?
“I want that.”
She takes my attention.
I don’t mind because it means she has to spend some time with me to use it.
But when she leaves a few seconds later I realize how empty I am.
“This is mine now.” She says and rips my happiness from my fingers.
It hurts to see it go, but I let her take it.
She wouldn’t just take someone’s happiness without needing it.
She must have needed it.
I only have one thing left and I keep it close.
“Hey.”
I look up at him.
His smile is slow.
His eyes are warm.
“Can I have that?”
He’s pointing at my heart.
The only thing I have left.
But the request is so gentle.
His voice is so soft.
So I extend it to him with shaking hands.
“Be careful with it?”
My voice is uncertain.
He rolls his eyes like I’m a child.
“Yeah, okay.”
I did not keep it close enough.
I go and find them.
They are all together, laughing and happy.
There is no room in their circle so I sit a few feet away and clear my throat.
They look at me.
“May I borrow a piece of those?”
I point to their attention, affection, and concern.
They look between each other before tossing a bag towards me.
“You can have these back instead.”
It is my things, even the friendships from long ago.
But they are in shatters.
Fractions of what they once were.
I take them anyway and stand.
“Thank you.”
I walk away.
I don’t look back.
by @hummelfun












