#humor text

[lonely-single-potato]

Why can't I make a text post that's so simple, but relatable and funny at the same time?? I just saw one where someone wrote about how dipping your bread in soup unlocks all sorts of emotions. It's so simple, but mind blowing! Who the hell comes up with this shit??

[xquakerider]

HOW DO PEOPLE BLUSH ALL CUTE AND JUST TURN A LITTLE PINK OR BLUSH AT THE CHEEKS?? LIKE WHAT DEAL WITH THE DEVIL DID YOU MAKE?? WHO DID YOU SELL YOUR SOUL TO?? WHY DO I HAVE TO TURN AS RED AS A TOMATO AND THEN KEEP SPIRALING DOWN HILL??

[danneil]

excitedly checking my notification and it's cheezbot suprising me

[manyittie]

Confession time

I've never seen fight club and whenever I'm around white people I lie and say I have so they won't brutally murder me or raise me to be apart of their real "fight club"

[happypizzarolls-blog]

My little sister was brushing her teeth in the bathroom and all of a sudden we heard and shriek. The door ripped open and she came out stomping one foot at a time, basically running in place. She screamed "CENTIPEDE" over and over again, swinging her toothbrush over her head like a lasso.

[writerkenna]

Man, we hear tit is really popular on on tumblr

[alphaesq]

we have a car game that my family plays where you punch someone in the shoulder if you see a license plate from another state so right now I'm driving with my mom when I see Oklahoma so I punched her lightly in the shoulder and I was drinking sprite in my other hand and without looking she went to slap my hand but hit my sprite so it went crashing out of my hands and spilt sprite all over the seat and we had to pull over and clean it ip and if thats carma then I don't know what is but I do know I can't trust her with anything

[woggydoggy]

counting to twenty in french

un

deux

trois

quartre

cinq

six

sept

huit

neuf

dix

onze

douze

treize

quatorze

quinze 

seize

dix-sept

dix-huit

dix-nuts

vingt