#humouring_the_devil

[veil-839]

Immaterial and unimportant I feel barely sentient. Accidentally detrimental Do u feel the sentiment?

I try to convey Give word to my thought My voice breaks The train screeches to a stop 

Ash in my lungs “Cat got your tongue?” I can't even breathe

My brain hasn't stopped running  but I can't bring myself to speak

[veil-839]

The hate I'm fed Things left unsaid I feel the gloom spread Anxiety is bred.

I question, I judge, I wonder  What if they don't want me? Like I don't want myself

[veil-839]

A quiet claim A flickering flame You whisper my name I can't help but play the game.

A soft heart An unsteady start To yearn is a delicate art I can't help but play the part.

[veil-839]

It’s been months. Months since we last spoke. Months since I last heard you say my name. But I dreamt of you last night.

i dreamt of telling you about my recent woes, of knocking heads with you like we used to, of whispering my problems until they didn’t feel so heavy.

Even though I know now that you’d never want to hear them, the first person i thought of telling was you. Does that make me pathetic?

I crave your company the way a sick man craves normalcy. i know it’s not impossible to find again, but I’m scared that kind of normalcy would make me reckless all over again.

I want you back, but at the same time, I want you to stay miles away from me.

Why is love so fucking complicated? Was it even love when we never acknowledged it? 10 months since it all went downhill, and i still dont know what you were to me.

[veil-839]

Do you think of me as often as I think of you?

[veil-839]

"Do you believe in gods?" you softly asked, The question lingered, and then I knew at last. "You're my light, my faith, the path I tread. You are my god," I quietly said.