Coltlant Gentry + March family incorrect quotes
*Late at night, family chat* Colt: I miss dad Court: Well, listen here, you little shit
____ Ryland and Colt: *doing something stupid and reckless* Jody: How did you deal with them when they were teens? Holly: Deal? Why do you think we all live in a different cities? Together we've burned them one by one!
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Healy: Didn't you forget something? Holly, that taught Ryland and Colt how to drive: No, I don't think so. Ryland: We bought all the groceries. Colt: We even got ice cream for everyone and refueled the car on the way back. Healy: ... Healy: And where's Holland? All: ... Ryland: Fudge... We forgot him at the gas station...
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Court: I left Claire with you for one day... March: For the record, you left her unsupervised! Court: YOU were supposed to supervise her! March: *panicked* I was left unsupervised, too!
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March, to Holly: Where are you going? For how long? Who's gonna be here? Do you need a ride? Do you need help? Call me if anything needed! Keep you cap on! Stay safe! Drink water! Healy, to Ryland and Colt: Don't die, preferably.
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Colt: Damn... Ryland: What's wrong? Colt: I just realized. If the Earth is flat, then how the jokes about Australia work? Do they live on the other side of the disk? Ryland: ... Ryland: Please, disown yourself from my family. And make a plastic surgery.
____ Court: Whoa, stop. Easy, we're not taking it home. Claire: Why not?! He's cute and he needs help! Court: *stares at the shocked and blood covered Driver, that doesn't know how he ended up here* ... Court: Well, firstly, because it's called kidnapping...
____ Jody: Take your brother back, please. Ryland: Sorry, no refunds. Legally, he's your problem now. But I can recommend a few zoos in the area. Colt: Hey! ____
Healy, to Colt: Don't jump off the buildings. Colt: *becomes a stuntman* Healy: Damn. ____
Someone: How many kids do you have? March: Honestly, I'm not even sure anymore. They're just keep coming and I don't know from where. ____
Driver: So... it's always like this? Court: *glances back* Ryland and Colt: *fighting over nugget* Holly and Holland: *sleep deprived and on 5th coffee cup each, doing their case* Healy: *desperately trying to keep his idiots alive* Claire: *laughing menacingly as she holds a lighter* Court: ... Court: No, it's pretty tame. Usually it's much worse.
____ Healy: When was the last time you guys ate something? Colt: Breakfast. Need a snack, tho. Court: Same. Driver: Had lunch at work. Ryland, Holland, Holly: *nervous sweating* Healy, annoyed: If it's more than three days, go to kitchen this instance. Ryland, Holland, Holly: *scattering to the kitchen like scared cockroaches*
____ Colt: I just thought... Ryland: Don't lie. You can't do that.
____ March: Would you love me if I was a worm? Healy, that heard this question five times from five of his kids: My wallet is over there. March: *confusion*
____ Driver: Never do something you can't quickly explain to the ambulance driver.
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Court: *sneezes* Colt: Damn, man, are you okay? Tell me what you need, old pal. Ryland: You should take better care of yourself at your age. Claire: Did you take your medicine today, old man? Court: … Court: I hate you all, guys. I'M NOT OLD!
