[16 Vorns after Cybertron’s Restoration - One Vorn, Eleven Stellar-Cycles into assignment]
═════════════════
Sir? I’ve sent a dozen small reports and I haven’t gotten slag back from you. What is going on? Why aren’t you responding? Every file reads as having been seen but you haven’t responded once, even to sensitive information. I’ve gone through every protocol. Why aren’t you looking? I don’t understand.
I’ve done everything right! I’ve sent all my reports, I’ve been loyal, I’ve followed every order! Why aren’t you listening to me? What did I do wrong? My concerns are serious and time sensitive. And now I have over a dozen Inquisitors staking out this location, all of them trying to get my attention. I’ve refused to leave the property, but they are getting closer every single cycle and it has been a fight to keep Orion from noticing. Has the Guard given up on subtlety? If so, Megatron will hear about this and he will NOT be happy. I’m saving your afts by getting these spies of the property! What is wrong with you mecha?
You aren’t even reading my reports, are you? In the beginning you showed so much concern… but now you don’t seem to care. That is very uncharacteristic of you, Smokescreen. Unless… it’s not your reading these. You haven’t been reading my reports for a long time now, have you?
I knew there was something going on. The Decepticon codex outlines this kind of slag and I know for a fact that the Guard is corrupt now. So listen up, third party observer.
Whoever you are, let me tell you a little something.
I’m not moving from this spot. I’m not letting you hurt these mecha I have come to care so much about. I’m not going to report to you. I’m not going to give you anything else. If you want to come and get information, you can drag it out of my cold dead corpse. If you can even do that, considering you’ve refused to use the memory retrieval methods the Decepticon medical files have outlined. Frag off with your little games. And just for the record, all those Inquisitors you’ve been sending? Yeah, I’ve been getting rid of them one at a time.
Most of them have been wise enough to comply with my demands for them to leave. But there was one who got too close. I remember he trained with me. But I still shot him straight between the optics when he got too close to my targets. I’ll do it again if needed. I’m not afraid, not now that I can see the lies the Guard has been feeding us. You don’t want to better Cybertron. You aren’t even serving our Prime. Whoever is in charge of this is manipulating the Guard into doing their bidding, and I have a feeling I might know who that person is.
Here’s the deal. I’m going to stay right here and shoot anyone with the badge of the Elite Guard who comes within viewing distance of this residence. Unless Head Guardsmech Smokescreen starts communicating with me again to work out the numerous issues I have observed, I am going to assume the Guard is hostile.
This is my warning, and I am not afraid to act on it.
═════════════════
[Report Received: Visibility Status - Seen. Report… Redirected.]
[Note from [REDACTED]: You have made a very poor decision.]
Hey Megatron, it’s Hush. I don’t have a lot of time to say all the stuff I need to, but I’ll tell you what I can.
I’ve been recalled for a mandatory memory wipe. I had no choice in the matter. I turned against my order and they were not pleased. I tried to refuse to command, but they threatened your Conjunx, and I couldn’t allow that. I know you keep him safe and that they likely wouldn’t succeed, but I don’t want innocent lives to be lost or for you to be painted as even more of a villain after you inevitably kill a few agents sent to frag things up. You’ve done nothing wrong since the war ended and I don’t want you to have to go and do things you don’t want to. You are happy with Orion Pax, and I simply won’t risk things ruining that.
So I’ll be heading back to headquarters, and when I return, I won’t be me anymore. Not this new me anyway. There will be no Melody. There will be no more conversations or any of that. There won’t be any quiet nights in the garden or tea parties once a deca-cycle. I don’t know how you feel about me, Megatron. But… I’ve cherished every moment (minus the first few deca-cycles where I was afraid you were going to murder me).
I’m sorry I’m leaving like this, although I know you probably won’t miss being spied on all the time. I don’t know if I’ll be back or even if I’ll still be alive in a few cycles. Depends on what the Chaplain decides to do with me after the wipe finishes. If it isn’t too much trouble, could you give this to Orion? This note should be attached to a little box with a few of my favorite knitted things. They are tiny, so don’t worry about putting them somewhere. You can even chuck them if you like.
And in the event that I do come back, I’ve also attached a chip. It contains a backup of all my memory since I started this mission observing you. Just leave it in my vent if I return. Younger me is a bit of an idiot so I’ll probably connect up to it regardless if you write a note saying something like ‘important data’ on it.
Yeah. I guess this is my goodbye of sorts. Thanks for not murdering me and for being so nice to me. Thank you for sharing your work with me, for teaching me (although I am sure it was tedious sometimes). It has meant the world and I’m sorry I couldn’t do more for you to get the Guard off your back. My only suggestion is to cover your vents and check all of Orion’s fuel if I don’t return. I can’t guarantee the Guard won’t try something.
Well, that’s about it I suppose. Thanks again for everything.
[Listed Authorizations: Head Elite Guardsmech Smokescreen]
[Assigned Inquisitor: Hush]
[15 Vorns after Cybertron’s Restoration - One Vorn into assignment]
═════════════════
Hush here with another report. As usual, it's been a pretty tame stellar cycle. Megatron really doesn’t do much, Smokescreen. I’m not joking. I thought he was terrifying at first, and don’t mischaracterize me when I say he still is absolutely terrifying, but if you know how to deal with him, it isn’t all that bad. He’s been doing a lot of writing recently, but that’s about it. He wrote a rather well done piece on Orion Pax’s dancing. I didn’t think I was one for romantics, but even I can admit it was a wonderful little thing. It was so sweet and well thought out. I think Orion will like it when he reads it. I plan to go find some nice solarite blooms for Megatron to give to Orion alongside the poem he’s composed. It will be a lovely accent piece to really add to the feeling of the gift.
There really isn’t a lot about Megatron to discuss, but since I would like to meet glyph count and have something to do other than knit another three stuffed turbo foxes, I’m going to tell you more about what’s been going on. Hope you don’t mind Head Guardsmech, but I’m really quite bored and this is a nice way to get my thoughts recorded for when I inevitably have my memory wiped and I need a refresher on handling my targets.
So you know I made up a company, right? Of course you do, I put it in my last report. Anyway, I put on my disguise, changed my paint, and swapped out my visor for a gold one before going to meet Orion as my new persona, Melody. I double-checked that everything looked good and covered up the wings of my badge. Then, once it was a good way through the morning, I walked up and rang the doorbell with my bag of gardening tools. You have no idea how long I spent frantically learning about gardening. I read everything I could get my servos on and I even went to train under a florist for a few deca-cycles. I had Carnage go out and look for plants for me as well. Did you know that the ruins of Crystal City are filled with plants thought extinct? I mean the city has been on fire since the Quints blew up Vector Omega, but the fires aren’t as bad now, so I could feasibly go fetch some plants.
Right, back on topic. I made sure my disguise was perfect and then rang the bell. I made sure Megatron would be out at the time just so that in case things went south I would be able to book it without being murdered. Orion’s field is nasty, but it won’t outright kill a mech, at least not based on what I’ve seen. If the Primal Steward and Megatron can walk it off, I am sure I can handle it too. That said, Orion answered the door pretty quickly and seemed genuinely surprised to see anyone there at all. I smiled as nicely as I was able, and our interaction went something like this:
“Hello! I’m Melody from Melody Photographics and Landscaping! Would you happen to be Orion Pax?”
Orion was really shocked when I introduced myself. He hesitated a lot at the door but replied soon enough.
“Yes, I am Head Archivist Pax. What can I do for you?”
I think he was expecting me to demand money or something with how he was giving me a look. Maybe he thought Megatron hadn’t paid dear Melody for the pictures. He wouldn’t have been wrong if he had thought that. Megatron hasn’t paid me for scrap, but at this point, I do what I do because I’m bored, so I guess it doesn’t matter.
“I was hired to tend to your garden and the exterior of your hab. Would it be possible for me to step in so we can discuss what you would like to get from this arrangement? I can begin work as soon as I know the budget I will have available and what you would like to see your garden become.”
Again, he looked like someone had come and slapped him upside the helm with a brick. Honestly, I can see why Megatron is fond of Orion’s optics. They are very expressive when he’s running through lots of emotions. He invited me in pretty quickly, and we ended up sitting down to discuss plans over tea. Orion makes killer tea by the way. I don’t think I’ve had tea since I got put in this post of mine, so his tea was extra nice. Did you know he likes his tea with loose crystals? I didn’t but now I do.
We chatted for a bit and he asked all about how I got my job and who hired me. I told him Megatron hired me to take care of the place since my photographs turned out well and he liked my work. I also let him know that I do have a feline named Carnage who stays with me to assist me with my visual impairment. That one I came up with on the spot when I accidentally slipped up about my visor. See, the one I was wearing wasn’t actually a medically enhanced one, it was just protective. I think he might have been worried I was hiding something, either that or he was just curious. Whatever the case, I panicked a bit and took off my visor to show him why I have it.
I might have scared him, but I don’t think so. It’s really hard to tell with Orion. Sometimes he’s as clear as crystal, and other times he’s impossible to read. He just looked at my mutated optics, asked if they were painful, and then made an understanding noise. It was… relieving to have somebody look at my face and not be disguised. Megatron is going to have a field day when he finds out that his nickname of 'spider’ for me is far more accurate than he originally assumed. I know what I look like. I know that it’s because of my optics that I was made into an Inquisitor.
Sorry, it’s just nice to not be immediately gagged at. Following my reveal, Orion asked about Carnage, to which I just stated that Carnage comes and goes but doesn’t cause trouble. Then, once he seemed confident in my genuine interest in gardening, he grabbed some datapads, floor plans, schematics, designs, and so much more that I didn’t even know he had. By the time he had everything laid out, his entire kitchen table was covered in documents detailing his property and how he would like his garden to look. It was honestly super fun working with him to design the layout of the garden. We spent all cycle debating what would look best where.
I’ll tell you what, though: Orion Pax is rich. Megatron never spends much shanix, so I haven’t actually seen the sheer amount of cash these two monsters have in their accounts. But when I asked how much I could spend and made it clear I was happy to purchase whatever was missing, Orion outright shut that idea down. He shook his helm and went over the expenses for the garden, which I will have you know are absolutely astronomical considering what Orion wants. This is what he told me:
“Melody, you look like you haven’t fueled properly in vorns. I am not going to have you take shanix out of your hard earned salary to pay for my garden. I have a substantial inheritance to my name, and even with all these expenses, I will still hardly scratch the surface of those funds.”
He showed me his account, Smokescreen. He’s got more shanix than some senators have at this point! He’s disgustingly wealthy, and I did, in fact, choke a bit when I read his account balance. Orion is related to Alpha Trion, right? Well, that fragger must have been swimming in funds because Orion looks like some sort of foreign prince with how much shanix he has just sitting around. He told me a good chunk of his inheritance was made null and void with the shift in economics and the new currency system, but that much of it still held strong because many of his assets are in relics, property, and documents.
It was wild. I ended up handing Megatron a copy of the amount of shanix in his and Orion’s accounts a few cycles later, and he did an actual spittake at the number. I can’t blame him. Even deca-cycles after the matter, I still find myself recalling just how much cash my targets have to their names. I haven’t seen that much money anywhere, much less in one place at the same time.
Back on the subject of the garden. Orion made his plans, and I’ve been spending the past couple of deca-cyles hunting down things he wants. Orion has been helping too, and so far we meet once a deca-cycle to go over plans again. I’ve already begun clearing out the garden of all the random plant growth already there. The dirt is all sifted and energon shards have been distributed to fertilize it all. I got some bots to bring over the trees Orion ordered and I managed to convince Megatron to help me hold them up while I got the holes prepared. Currently, there is one huge techtite tree that shot up like a vining holoshade and two smaller trees from Crystal City that I grabbed. I don’t actually know what they are, and neither does Orion. We are both looking into it, but they are pretty so they are allowed to just kinda hang there.
I spent a cycle with Orion laying down walkways too. That was fun. We talked about all sorts of plants and had lunch on the deck after spending the morning laying down eco friendly path pieces. We got into an argument over a bench we were putting together for the garden, but that argument resolved itself when Megatron came out and showed us that we were both reading the manual wrong. We put one screw in the wrong place, and the whole thing looked like a fragged up mess.
I got laughed at and Orion got kisses. I may or may not have been rather bitter about that. But we got the bench finished and got seeds for some copper growths spread around. I expect them to grow in alongside the newest plants we have shipping in rather quickly. Oh, we also got a nice tea table put under the techtite tree. We’ve had lunch there once a deca-cycle ever since. First Aid even came by once and got to fuel with us! He’s really nice. I really enjoy First Aid’s company. He knows a great deal and is very caring. He took one look at my optics and prescribed me some medication I don’t know.
I’ve been taking it for a while now and I must say, while it hasn’t fixed my life’s problems or the sensitivity of my optics, I can now withstand a little more dust before my optics get all agitated.
As a side note, Carnage has been sleeping on top of my cockpit for a while now, and just the other cycle I decided to open it up because he kept pawing at it. He jumped right in and refused to hop out. He hasn’t emerged in cycles, but he doesn’t seem to be very concerned. I can feel him in there and it’s actually pretty comforting. Is that normal? I mean, I know that some of the big fliers will let others ride in their cockpits, but are they supposed to have to fuel more afterwards?
That’s all I’ve got for now. I will keep you updated, as usual.
═════════════════
[Report Received: Visibility Status - Seen]
[Note from Head Elite Guardsman Smokescreen: Hush for Primus’s sake, you are getting far too comfortable in your role. I can’t exactly stop you now, but please, be careful before giving away your weaknesses. As for your question? I am afraid I don’t have the answer. Very little is known about yours and others frame types. A lot of information was lost during the war. So unless you are in pain, I wouldn’t worry about it.]
[Listed Authorizations: Head Elite Guardsmech Smokescreen]
[Assigned Inquisitor: Hush]
[16 Vorns after Cybertron’s Restoration - One Vorn, Five Stellar-Cycles into assignment]
═════════════════
I’m here with yet another report. Sorry for being so slow in my writing. There’s been a lot going on recently. Not dangerous stuff, of course. Just things and domestic activity. Now that I’m here as Melody, I’ve become wrapped up in household affairs. I can’t help but get involved in all of it, and I don’t think Orion minds much. Megatron certainly doesn’t. The longer I’m here, the more accepting he is of my presence.
I know it’s unorthodox, but I’m making progress like this. I’m integrating and can learn so much more than I would have otherwise been able to by making myself part of this weird family situation that’s begun to develop. I’ve been returning for my usual wipes, as requested though. Please don’t worry, I’m not a traitor or anything. I went in just last deca-cycle to get my recent memories uploaded for the Elite Guard to share. I’ve read so much and seen so much that I really think we could use it. I’m not trying to be a sympathizer or anything of the sort, but I do think some of the documents the Decepticons were using during the start of the war, before they went nuts mind you, were actually well thought out.
Hear me out about this. Toward Peace was Megatron’s first published work, and while it is certainly controversial, I think it’s still a fantastic read. If one looks at it from the perspective of the author, with the mindset of the time, and with knowledge of how functionalist things were back then, Megatron is not at all incorrect in his writing. I’ll get to my actual report in a bit, but I just want to emphasize this. Toward Peace, The Oppression of Self, Martial Law & Social Injustice, and even Megatron’s old poem collection Broken Unity are brilliant pieces of literature. Some of the quotes still apply today if you ask me. Look at these lines:
“Even if our frames are shackled, freedom is still ours. True defeat only comes when the mind is rewritten and brought low. No matter how much we are beaten, so long as we maintain our hopes and our ideals, they can never fully break us.”
“Justice. That is what the priests proclaim from their ivory towers. Equality is what they cry as newbuilds are lined up like cattle mere moments after their emergence and then assigned a purpose with no regard for their sparks. Freedom is what they preach as the mecha condemned to the pits grind their gears to dust. Does this not scream of hypocrisy?”
“I write this from the very essence of my spark and with all the conviction of my being. No Cybertronian, young or old, femme, mech or other, should endure the sufferings of the castes. The worth of the spark cannot be determined by mere medical examination. To think otherwise is to deny the individuality that makes us what we are.”
Megatron has a point, Head Guardsmech. I think you and anyone else with a functioning processor can see that. I understand he did horrible things and that his ideals were corrupted as the war dragged on. But these thoughts, these emotions that he wrote down… they aren’t incorrect. They are enlightening. I don’t understand why these texts are banned. If more mecha read these things, I believe the people would understand the Decepticons and there would be far less cases of heresy because Autobots and Decepticons could bond. That’s less work for us and more freedom for the people. That’s what our Prime wanted, right? I mean, the Autobot regulation guidelines and codex are out and free for all to read. So why aren’t the Decepticon texts given that same treatment? I know you aren’t in charge of all that stuff, especially the Elite Guard’s internal operations. But please, can’t you do something about this?
I’ve been looking into Orion’s work recently and I’ve found far more than just Megatron’s work restricted. I would understand to an extent if it was just his writing, but all Decepticon literature is banned. Even the medical texts! I’ve read over Orion’s shoulder while moving stuff around the hab for him and I’ve seen those texts. They have things that could help so many mecha, Head Guardsmech. Surgeries to help those with malfunctioning T-Cogs. Medication for those with severe mood swings. A whole therapy regime for those enduring wartime trauma and guilt over the war as a whole. By the Primes, I saw… a medical text that could have been used to help me.
They have a technique for bots with optics like mine. If I had been given access to this documentation when I was younger, I wouldn’t be like this. My optics wouldn’t hurt all the time from lack of care. I wouldn’t constantly be trying to cover my helm for fear of my processor getting blown out whenever I use my extra optics either. Those texts had schematics for a special helm piece that would cover my weaknesses. Don’t you know how much that sort of thing could help me? How much it could help others with heightened senses or extra sensory units? I’ll give you the answer to that. It could change everything for bots like me.
Look, I’m not going to get on your case about it. I know it isn’t your realm of expertise. But please, look into it. I know the Decepticons did bad things. But not everything they did was wrong. Can’t you talk to the Primal Steward? Maybe leave a note? It just… it would mean a lot.
Sorry. Getting onto my actual report, I’ve been integrating well, as I previously said.
I spend most of the cycle working out in the garden nowadays. It has grown well, and the plants aren’t overly unruly. The crystal spires are small right now, but in a few vorns, they will reach Megatron’s height if all goes well. The trees have thankfully adjusted to the soil instead of trying to die every two cycles. Most of the shrubbery survived its rehoming, but Carnage did attempt to eat the entirety of one of Orion’s stranger plants that I still don’t know the name of. I only really noticed it recently, but the garden is growing into a particular formation. I think it’s making an emblem, but I can’t be all that certain so soon into its development. Anyway, it’s very pleasant out there in the garden now. I have tea with Orion and First Aid regularly now.
First Aid has been bringing interesting reports with him, lots of talk about medical malpractice due to the old war vets coming back in. Apparently all of the ‘doctors’ from the war aren’t certified for the most part. Yeah a lot of them are certified, but First Aid says that their education is lacking or highly specialized to whatever world they were stuck on during the great Exodus. Supposedly, there’s this older medic that’s been wandering rogue in the lower levels for vorns now that First Aid has been trying to catch. According to the rumors, he wanders around doing work for free using strange archaic methods.
Surprisingly, amongst the patients First Aid checked up on, they are all perfectly healthy. Most say the Doctor came in, made them chew on some rocks or eat some unknown plant and the next thing they knew, BAM! Their self repair systems were shot into action. One bot even had his wings soldered back into place. And not even with a proper welder. This old medic just kinda came in, stitched the wing into place with wire, shoved a rock down the bot’s throat, and the wing started to self repair. First Aid has been kinda obsessed when he isn’t chattering with Orion about stuff I don’t understand or worrying about the Primal Steward.
He doesn’t talk much about Doctor Ratchet, at least outside of his usual worries. You should check in on him. I know I’ve expressed my concerns before considering his… tendencies with Orion. But I think you should get Ratchet some medical attention, just in case. With what I saw… he doesn’t seem well. First Aid isn’t making it sound as though he’s getting better either.
Regarding Orion and Megatron: They haven’t done anything particularly noteworthy. Megatron has been taking my work as his own, as per usual. He calls it rent when it’s just the two of us. But to be fair, he threw a few thermal sheets up into the vents for me so that’s a plus. Megatron has also made a few more posts online about his dissatisfaction with the world at large, but I’ve been here long enough to know it’s not really a heresy charge. Honestly I doubt it would be worth it to bother with attempting to get him for anything with Orion up in arms all the time.
Speaking of Orion, he’s been improving rapidly. He no longer has rampant night terrors or severe reactions to physical touch aside from Megatron. I got to shake his servo two deca-cycles ago, and just last cycle, he clasped my shoulder. It may not sound like much, but for him, that’s a big sign of trust. Over the last few stellar cycles he’s opened up a bit too. We talk a lot now. Not about important stuff, generally. Just the garden, landscaping, and that fragging engraver next door. I swear to you on every single one of the Primes that he’s doing something shady over there. There’s an unusual amount of shavings outside his hab now. And I keep tabs on his number of customers and it is not adding up.That level of shaving comes from either having a hundred customers wanting their engravings all within a deca-cycle of each other… or someone is getting chopped up in there.
I have my mission and I won’t deviate… yet. But if someone isn’t sent over to check that whole mess out, I will be letting Megatron know. I don’t think he is fully aware, if at all. Orion doesn’t really talk to Megatron about the engraver since it’s such a miner thing all things considered. I think he’s mentioned it, but only because none of us like watching that mech sit out on his porch and fiddle with what we are pretty sure is a real optic that’s been put into a ball, like some twitched fidget toy. Me and Orion have our theories, but I keep the deck clear of any of the shavings, and now that Carnage is with me, the poor feline isn’t yowling late at night and waking everyone up.
Speaking of Carnage, he came out of my cockpit about a stellar cycle after getting in and refusing to get back out again. When he came out, he was different. I expected the poor thing to starve in there, but he was perfectly healthy when he emerged. And more importantly, he looked aware? I don’t know, but he’s been following me more, demanding in my cockpit and getting antsy with Megatron. He loves Orion, which I find hilarious. But I guess I can almost feel him, in a sense? I can vaguely sense when Carnage is around and maybe it’s just those optics getting to me, but I swear I can feel what he’s feeling sometimes. It’s how I know he really really does not like getting scruffed by Megatron when he’s on the counter without permission.
Hmm I am trying to think of what else has gone on. Not a lot I think. Megatron let me lick the bowl clean after he made some sort of pastry using it. That was fun. Ten out of ten would try again by the way. I have no clue what he made because I was stuck trying to fight Carnage off while cleaning out the blasted thing, but it smelled delightful and considering Orion was covered in both frosting and various intimate marks, I’m going to assume the pastry was a hit.
Oh, one last thing in case you were worried. Orion is under the assumption that I live nearby so when I vanish, he’s not all that worried. I am still very much hiding out in the walls so I can listen in. I’ve also done a ton of work to make getting dolled up as Melody more efficient by foregoing my Elite Guard colors. I still have my badge, but it’s all covered up. So if anyone comes looking to check in on me and sees white and gold, don’t worry it’s still me. Just in costume.
I made a few more plushies. But that’s about all. I’ll report back in when something interesting happens.
═════════════════
[Report Received: Visibility Status - Seen]
[Note from Head Elite Guardsmech Smokescreen: Hush, I’m warning you. Stop this. Stop trying to understand Megatron’s movement. I get it, you like him. I find the mech interesting when he isn’t being insufferable too. But if you keep getting into the weeds of it all you are going to lose yourself. You are already away from the Guard and actively living with these bots. Do you have any idea how easy it is to lose track of what you are doing and actually believe the lies you spout to blend in?
I’m not going to pull you out yet specifically because I want you to listen closely to what First Aid has to say. Chaplain Paradox is interested in that wandering Doctor but can’t get slag out of Ratchet or his assistant on a good cycle. So listen out for information on that. Additionally, since you are so invested, I want you to try and get some information out of Orion for me.
I’ve been looking into some things around the Citadel. I can’t confirm anything, but I need you to ask about Alpha Trion one of these cycles. We have no confirmation of his death, but I have a feeling he may be around. If he is, I need to know. Please, be discreet if you can.]
[Listed Authorizations: Head Elite Guardsmech Smokescreen]
[Assigned Inquisitor: Hush]
[15 Vorns after Cybertron’s Restoration - Ten Stellar-cycles into assignment]
═════════════════
It has been a quiet three stellar cycles, at least by Megatron and Orion standards. Megatron and Orion did some traveling around lower Iacon and spent time at the shops to celebrate their conjunxing anniversary. They were disgustingly romantic as always and got some iced energon which they shared with comically small spoons. They also danced under the light of Luna 1 on the roof and shared a few kisses. I got a few pictures of their whole date because it was, admittedly, rather cute. I left them on the table for Megatron to review. He actually smiled when he saw the pictures I took. I went to great lengths to get excellent images of Orion. Megatron isn’t the greatest photographer and the last one that was hired to take some anniversary pictures for my targets fled the scene a moment after arriving.
Orion was so fragging sad after he failed to get anyone willing to take pictures. So honestly I am just happy I could help. Orion is a good mech deep down. I didn’t think so when I first got here, but then again, I didn’t think Megatron was capable of love either. I don’t believe that anymore. I’ve been here almost a full vorn and I have seen more than I would have liked to. But through those experiences, I can safely say that their affection is genuine. Orion’s name has been slandered for no real reason and Megatron, while formerly a mech worthy of being jailed, is no longer who he once was. I can’t look at wartime pictures of Megatron and see the same mech who sits hunched over at his desk in the afternoon to write poetry.
Don’t worry, I left a note with the pictures. I forged a document that stated I was a photographer from a company I made up which I have named ‘Melody Photographics & Landscaping’. Megatron grinned and smiled up at my vent when he saw it. I think he appreciates my efforts. I know Orion certainly did. When he got the pictures he was ecstatic and gushed at Megatron for a half groon about how lovely the photos came out. Of course then he praised Megatron for a long while for being able to find a photographer and for surprising him with pictures after their anniversary. But I am just happy to see them happy. It’s kind of strange, but after being here so long, their joy has begun to infect me.
I know that protocol dictates that I am meant to get my memory files uploaded and then wiped, but I would like to keep these ones, at least until my mission is complete. Sure I’ve seen some things, but I’m happy with that. There are enough good memories to drown out the scary ones.
On another note, ‘Melody Photographics & Landscaping’ has now been ‘hired’ by Megatron to work around the outside of the hab. I forged all the documentation so don’t stress about it, Head Guardsmech. I’ve got some new paint lined up and I plan to begin working in the garden and fixing up the exterior of the hab going forward. Orion is affiliated with the Prime after all. His reputation is tied to our Lord Prime’s. It’s only right that I help fix everything up. I already have a bunch of building material purchased and ready to go. I will begin work once I introduce myself under my alias and get information about what Orion would like the exterior of the hab to look like.
I know it is risky, but I plan to use this alias business of mine to assist Megatron and Orion going forward. I know I am not supposed to be too involved, but I am tired of sitting around. Besides, the sheer level of disrespect thrown at my targets is ridiculous. Few mecha are willing to serve them in public establishments! So if no one else will do it, I will. And before you tell me it's foolish, I have logical reasons behind the choice as well, at least aside from saving our Prime’s reputation. If I am the one supplying them with services, then I will know exactly what they are doing and I will be able to give better reports. With that said, I could use some additional funding going forward. Not much mind you, just enough to buy some tools and more paint.
Oh, and before I forget, Carnage has begun staying with me more often! He comes back far more frequently now and he loves to recharge directly on my chassis. I am not sure why exactly, but I assume it's because a cyber-feline’s hearing is better than my own and he enjoys the sound of my spark. I don’t actually know if he’s a he, but it felt weird to not have some sort of designator for him. I didn’t want to keep calling him an it after he spent so many long nights curled up at my side when I was lonely.
Actually, Carnage has shown me a few interesting things about the hab and the surrounding area. Firstly, there are a few exotic crystals nearby that the records list as being extinct. I have already excavated them and am cultivating them quietly so that they can be put in Orion’s garden once I get permission to get working. Carnage also showed me a store that had a new visor that I may or may not have bought. Sorry, but the one issued by the guard really just didn’t meet my needs. My optics are… incredibly sensitive to anything and everything. Boredom wasn’t the only thing that led me to clean Megatron’s hab obsessively.
Dust hurts. At least now with my new visor, it doesn’t burn as much. I can see without as much suffering on my end.
Lastly, there are tunnel systems, not the ones for the Primes mind you, running beneath a good chunk of Iacon. I think they were sewers connected to the old factory districts from before the war. Most have collapsed, but a few are still in decent enough repair to traverse. One of these tunnels leads directly to that engraver’s house. I’ve found a whole stash of illegal drugs down there. I fully plan to examine that engraver further once I have a free moment. This is getting ridiculous and I refuse to put Orion and Megatron at risk of catching something from fumes.
I read in one of the archive’s files that creating drugs like circuit breakers makes nasty fumes that can make mecha seriously ill. I don’t know if that’s what the engraver is doing or if he’s just a distributor, but I would like a warrant to begin looking into him as well. For all we know, he could be affiliated with some underground network. I think it was Megatron who said it, but in his words, “The black market is always open for business.”
Oh, and before I forget, I think you will be happy to know that Orion Pax has stopped freezing up terribly at depictions of the Prime. He doesn’t need to shield his optics from the billboards anymore. This is huge progress! Although I must admit I agree with Megatron when it comes to those things. They are gross . Our Prime just looks wrong on them. Who allowed the senate to purchase rights to our Prime’s image? I don’t want to point digits at the Primal Steward or the Council, but I think you should look into that because it’s not only disrespectful, but really fragging uncomfortable to look at considering Optimus Prime is a holy figure.
I saw one billboard just the other cycle with our Prime’s image smiling alongside one of his quotes while holding up a cube of energon. It was an energon advertisement. For Primus’s sake, our Prime hasn’t even been dead twenty vorns and he’s already being used to prop up businesses. Can we at least remove the ones around lower Iacon? It’s not like anything will get sold down here anyway. Megatron agrees with me on this front.
No I don’t talk to him directly, but I have made a few noises while he was discussing the billboards by himself. He took that to be a sign of my agreement and honestly, he wasn’t wrong to make that assumption. Megatron wrote a whole article on how disrespectful and wasteful it is to have Optimus Prime literally everywhere across Iacon. How many memorials does he need? He’s holy, yes. I will fully and gladly acknowledge that. But he isn’t some prop to be piloted. Please, look into the situation. I implore you, Head Guardsmech.
That’s all I have to report on for now. Megatron left some more pre war documents out for me, so if you don’t mind, I’ve got some reading to do. I am halfway through a selection of Ascenticon legislation proposals.
═════════════════
[Report Received: Visibility Status - Seen]
[Note from Head Elite Guardsmech Smokescreen: Hush, are you serious? You are far beyond mere spying now. If you were anyone else, I would have pulled you back and had you sent to a Chaplain. However, considering Megatron has tolerated you so far and even seems to appreciate you, I will leave you be. Just, be careful. He’s unpredictable.]
Hush; whats the best and worst parts about living in megatrons walls?
ℰ𝓁𝒾𝓉ℯ 𝒢𝓊𝒶𝓇𝒹𝓈𝓂ℯ𝒸𝒽: 𝒜ℊℯ𝓃𝓉 ℋ𝓊𝓈𝒽
◇─◇──◇─◇
I'm not quite sure how you managed to get this question to me, but I'm pinning the blame on Megatron. Whatever the case, it's not a problem. I've got nothing better to do stuck up here all the time.
Let me start off by saying that there is a LOT I could ramble about here. There are plenty of great things about being the unwanted roomie, and for that same reason, there are more than a few negatives when it comes to this whole arrangement. Some of the worst parts of this whole situation include everything listed below.
Its boring as slag here. Megatron never does anything of interest, and then on the odd chance that he does, it's always for Orion and so its sappy as frag.
The funds the guard gives me are just not enough to make do. Not to be ungrateful, but I have Carnage and my two other pets to take care of. I never told Paradox about them, but well, I didn't think it was important until I started going hungry.
It gets really cold up here in the walls sometimes, usually during the rainy season. Megatron has a space heater since the sound of the actual heater that was built into the hab makes Orion twitchy. But that space heater doesn't work through walls.
Megatron and Orion interface all. the. time. I don't think I need to say much more aside from stating that I tend to take a walk when they do their thing.
Orion organizes his stuff WRONG. Nothing is put into any sort of decipherable organizational order and it drives me mad. I've tried fixing it, but then Orion gets mad at Megatron and Megatron in turn gets mad at me. So I just have to deal with it.
The whole hab is decorated in a very debatable manner, but I can mostly deal with it... except when it comes to Orion's stupid RUG. The thing is neon yellow with black stripes to make it look like miner marks. It's hideous and clashes with every other piece of furniture, but Orion loves it. Megatron tolerates it.
I've had to stop attempted murders about... twelve times now? Four where from Ratchet putting too many pills in Orion's meds, not sure if it was an accident or not. Two were from Ratchet again, but in a more physical sense. The rest where just mechs with vendettas trying to screw Megatron over in subtle ways. They suck at it by the way. Poisoning energon stopped being effective two stellar cycles into the great war.
That's about the worst of it I think. As for the good things? Let me list those in similar fashion real quick.
Megatron gives me stuff to read. It's REALLY boring up here, so every now and then he throws me a bone so to speak and offers me reading material. Pretty sure its mostly illegal, but it's something to do.
Megatron also lets me proofread his writing and edit sometimes. With no one else in the hab more often than not, I suspect he enjoys knowing someone is listening when he spends groons reading poetry. It's a nice distractor once you get used to the romantic nature of his work.
Every now and then Megatron makes me something absolutely delicious to eat. It's usually after I do him a favor, but by the Thirteen, he makes amazing pastries. I am willing to jump through hoops to get some of his cooking.
I got annoyed with Orion's garden situation so I took up the role of gardener with a disguise in place. Now once every two deca-cycles I get to have tea with him and First Aid. It's a blast.
I got to blanket as a gift from Orion once while I was using my alias. I adore that blanket.
Yeah I think that's the most notable stuff. The cons kinda outway the pros, but it is what it is. I'm happy enough I suppose. I've got my pets and I've got my little spot in the walls.
