☠ five times my muse thought about hitting yours, and the one time they did.
one.she didn’t really understand their bittersweet relationship. if she were to put it on a percentage scale, it would be 90% hatred and 10% love. even if they were family, she didn’t really feel any mercy whenever something bad happened to him. she was close to a few of her family members-- the closest being jinwoo. hyunwoo? always distant to her, always clung onto jinwoo. always making fun of her capabilities, and a big part that got made fun of-- her age. she was the youngest in the yoo family, from what she remembers. it would anger her when people would pull that card on an argument. so when he brought it up, hyejung only holds back. he’s family. don’t. so she let him walk away with the cheesy smile that her friend had suddenly adored.
two.“this is why people don’t like you.” the words that slipped out of hyunwoo’s lips were uncalled for. why were they always getting into unnecessary fights? also, why was he the one starting it? under the yoo household, the three of them were similar with knowing how to make blood pour over and spill out. hyunwoo on the other hand, rarely got the chance. he was the sweetheart of the family. in most recent times, that is. so his comebacks were weak at first, but his rebellious ways had been triggered some how. and now everything that he said hurt. not only because hyejung shared the same blood with him, but it did seem like everyone liked him. they had mutual friends-- many. they’d rather much hang out with him and not with her, which was understandable. but it left a hole in her heart, she didn’t want to change. she didn’t want to be nice just to gain friends. she didn’t want to be a fake. so she rubs at her bloodied knuckles, turning her heel to walk away from the conversation.
three.it was getting harder to handle her cousin that towered over her. there were little things that he had pushed her over the edge with. saying that she wasn’t loved, wasn’t cared for. for someone of her bloodline to mention it, she heard her heart break into multiple pieces. this was one reason why she never got close to anybody. not even with her family-- because it would only backlash. hyejung watched her cousin from afar-- the social butterfly who was making friends like it was as easy as drinking water. her figure was up against the wall, repeating his words over and over. he didn’t mean it, right? then again, he could have. and instead of being cousins, it felt like they were strangers. maybe he was joking, but she’d never fess up to the amount of wounds he’d inflicted upon her. she’d let the wounds speak whenever she got new ones from another fight.
four.jaw clenching with a beer bottle in her hand, she throws it at the wall, almost hitting her cousin. she was unbelievably drunk. all of her pent up anger had suddenly showed up when she came home to see that hyunwoo was on her couch. jinwoo had given him access to her house, jinwoo would pay later. but being the first person that she saw when her head wasn’t in its right mind, it pissed her off. “hey cous-” and hyejung wanted to scream. had he done anything wrong? no, not at that time. she just never told him all the incidents where she wanted to punch him until he bathed in his own pool of blood- a gory image for someone who was related to someone. there was some kind of hatred so deep that she’d probably compare it to the hatred that she had for her father.
five.she’s had enough. maybe it was jealousy that was seething out of her persona and she didn’t want to admit it. so instead of admitting it, she just kissed her knuckles before taking a jab at his face. did he deserve it? in her eyes, yes. in general? probably not. and she hits him again, she’d never talk about her feelings to him. he’s become distant, how the hell were they gonna patch it up again and pretend everything was fine? with their countless arguments as a child that built up to today, it was apparent that they didn’t get along most of the time. they couldn’t just pretend they never happened and seal wit up with a ‘sorry’, then add a kiss on top of it. maybe he reminded her of her father. taking everything away from her was a good trait that they shared. “you have no right to barge into my life like that. i get it, you’re my cousin. but i never asked to be close to you when all you do is break me down. at least jinwoo understands me.” pause.