How about I am your gassy room mate and I accidentally find your universal remote while you’re out, first I accidentally turn myself into Cara Delevingne when fiddling with it. Then I give myself a huge butt and boobs. I make myself heavily pregnant with octuplets. I change my outfit into a skimpy cheerleader outfit. Finally I change my hair into very long and super soft and silky blonde hair that reaches my ankles . Finally you walk in.
Jack sat lazily on the couch doing nothing but channel surf as he tried to find the will to do anything. Everything just seemed boring as shit, he expressed his displeasure with everything by ripping an impressive fart into the couch. It smelled like it might eat through the stitching in his pants, that made him giggle slightly. His roomie was out which was nice because that meant he didn’t have to hide his farts. Mike was a real stickler about that and it tended to piss Jack off with all his rules and incessant cleaning.
Granted it was mostly Jack’s mess that needed cleaning but he paid his half of the rent and he shouldn’t have to do all that crap. He at least had a job, all Mike did all day was cock about in the basement of the house “inventing” shit. Also granted it was winter now and he technically was unemployed but all the union had to do was call and he needed to be ready so he could’t really get a regular job now could he? Jack dozed off for just a moment, but it was long enough to lose the remote. How? He thought, I didn’t even move. He reluctantly got up and searched in between the cushions and behind the couch but when that didn’t help he started looking in the weird places like in the fridge, the oven, and in the pantry.
Those turned up nothing though and Jake decided to check in the last place it could possibly be, in Mikes “Lab”. Jake wasn’t technically allowed in but he needed to find that remote, he wasn’t gonna be stuck watching the young and the restless all day. The door was nothing special but inside was like something out of Dexter’s Lab. He had machines and bunsen burners and all the good shit. Jake let another loud fart flap out of his ass and her hurried along not wanting to leave more evidence behind. It didn’t take long before he found a remote, it wasn’t the one from the living room but all remotes were universal these days and he needed one bad. It looked a little weird like Mike had taken the plastic off and replaced it with metal and took off most of the buttons, now it only had five buttons and a tiny screen like on an old flip phone.
Jake didn’t care though as long as it worked, he plopped back on the couch and started pressing buttons but nothing happened. He hit the remote a few times and it finally started working and he at last returned to his channel surfing. Jack was breezing past showtime when that valerian movie started playing. That girl was pretty hot and he was all alone, so he figured he’d hit the pause button and enjoy himself. It was a little more difficult to find the button though, with this things confusing layout. He tried hitting the big yellow button on top and a beam of bright pink light came out and zapped the tv, then it bounded back and hit Jake square in the face.
Jake was afraid he’d been electrocuted because of how tight and constricted his body felt, like all his muscles were spasming and contacting. It ended soon and he was still breathing, he got up and ran to the mirror to see if he was burned or anything but when he made it to the bathroom he nearly fainted. His reflection didn’t match his body, or at least it didn’t match what he should look like. He looked like that girl from the movie, Cara something, his face was round with sharp high cheeks and a large forehead. His eyebrows were thick and strong and made his eyes look sultry and small. His lips were already painted a ruby red color and his hair was a dirty blond that ended just past his shoulders.
He looked down and saw his body had changed with it, he was now thin and had an athletic figure with small curves. Jake was freaking out and yelling in his new voice, racking his brain to find out what happened. It dawned on him that this happened when the remote went nuts so he ran out and grabbed it. Its display was crackling with static but Jack could make out the word “copy” on it. He was confused but then he looked at his tv and saw the frozen image of Cara Delevingne and a lightbulb went off in his head. Somehow the remote did this, it was like that movie with Adam Sandler. This remote could do anything! Mike finally invented something good, if this could turn him into a hot actress what else could it do? After a little more fiddling he figured out how to scroll through the options, there were so many he really could do anything. He decided to start with a classic and gave himself a stet of knockers so big he would cause car accidents. He selected the option for breasts and hit the plus button a dozen times.
Every time he pressed the button his breast shot up a cup size, each time they just popped up like popping corn from B’s to colossal L cup breasts! It was like his tiny frame was carrying medicine balls as his tits tented his shirt, straining it to its limit. Jake wasn’t one to leave a job half down so he scrolled down until he came across the option for asses and gave himself a real badonkadonk. He actually felt his pants tear as his ass grew to titanic proportions and balanced out his top heavy body. Jake giggled helplessly as he caressed his new insanely curvy body, he continued to scroll through the options and came across one he really didn’t expect to see titled ‘pregnancy’.
He always wanted to see a pregnant chick in the flesh so he selected the option but didn’t quite know how it would work. He pressed the plus button and was rewarded with an intense pressure in his abdomen. His belly surged outward and he was soon carrying a nine month pregnancy belly. Curiosity got the better of him though and he continued to press the button and his belly began to grow even more. He may have been a little overzealous as he looked like he carried a beachball, his distended belly now even eclipsed his breasts. His clothing was all but useless so he looked and found this thing could even affect clothes, he saw an option that looked super fun and a moment later he was wearing a perfectly fitting cheerleaders uniform.
Jake waddled over to the mirror and burst out laughing, he looked like a parody of a cartoon pregnant woman. Something was missing from his look though, he spent a few minutes scrolling through the options and found hair, the style he had was nice but he really wanted to keep the silly thing going so he lengthened it to such a degree that it nearly hit the floor and tickled his ankles. That was better, now it looked like he could give rapunzel a run for her money. Suddenly Jake heard the front door open, that must’ve been Mike. He was gonna have a helluva surprise when he saw the fruits of his labors.
Mike was tired and beat, he hated going to the grocery store but he needed food. Somehow it always managed to be crowded when he needed to get in and out quick but thank god it was over. “I’m home” he said to no one in particular, he knew his lazy roommate wouldn’t much care but when he entered the living room the person he saw was definitely not his roommate. It looked like that actress from Suicide Squad but her proportions where insane and she looked like she was too pregnant.
“Hey pal, recognize me?” Jake said. Mike saw the remote in the girls hands and wheels began to turn. “Jake?!”“Yup! Why the hell didn’t you tell me your inventions worked? You could be a bazillionare with this stuff.”“Jake, listen that remote doesn’t work.”“Um…Mike, look at me. I’m pretty sure it works.”“No Jake, that remote can only change things. It can’t change them back!”“…Wait what?”
The End. Hope y’all like it! Now you guys know what my writing looks like on cold medicine!