convinced my local hospital designs desk chairs to be as painful for your tailbone/low back/whatever as possible
why would they do this. they are doctors. they know about ergonomics, in theory.
by the end of tomorrow, i will have spent about 12 hours this week alone sitting in awful hospital desk chairs. i'm not even being paid. why.
in my experience doctors dont make chairs. occasionally, doctors buy urgent cares, which forces them to make chairs for maybe, two hours, tops, but eventually their backs start to get sore and they remember that they have several children who Yearn For Money. this is, of course, an opportunity for a win-win situation, so they go home and they make a deal with their kids that's like, hey, ill give you $8 for every chair that you build (because it's been taking them about 45 minutes a chair and $11ish an hour was actually very generous for a middle schooler back in the 2010 era). of course the kids agree, because hell yeah, moneyyyyy, and then mr. bigshot doctor leaves for a few hours to go important dad things, such as Ace Hardware, or Lawn, only to come back around noon and have all of the chairs done in one morning.
the average was maybe 15 minutes a chair.
perhaps someone else would have been suspicious of this. maybe. but mr. bigshot doctor has a lot on his mind at that moment, what, with the urgent care that he just bought, and the Ace Hardware and Lawn he just did, so he's really mostly just relieved that the chair building is all done and he won't have to hurt his back anymore. maybe he doesn't really think about it, and all those kids get a very big, very fat payday, which they then spend on kid things, such as Video Game, or Gum.
of course, eventually all those chairs wind up being wobbly and squeaky. and for a while mr doctor is not exaaaactly sure why. but a detailed inspection of one several years later mayhaps reveals that no washers were used on any bolts, ever, and that actually, several not stricly necessary but definitively stabilizing bolts and/or metal crossbars were strategically skipped. perhaps to make building them faster. perhaps. its hard to tell. he asks his kids about this and they shuffle their feet a little and say that they dont really recall. its all a blur to them. whose to say that anyone built those chairs. perhaps they sprung into the office, fully formed from their fathers brow. like athena. chairthena. perhaps patients stole the crossbars and the washers for their own chairs. patients are always doing strange things like that, and who can blame them? they're sick, the're delirious, they do strange things all the time.
maybe it was even a bird.
(there are, hypothetically, four kids that this doctor has. and it is hypothetically the oldest who suggests the bird while the other three nod their heads thoughtfully. i mean, who really knows what birds are up to these days? perhaps sabotaging chairs.)
the children are lying of course. but maybe lying is a proud tradition in that family. maybe its been around ten years. maybe the gum is already chewed and sly 3: honor among thieves has already been bought and the urgent care is already sold and theres really not much left to be done but laugh.
and uh. hypothetically. sorry dad.
