Jul 12, 2012
im gonna be far away. so far away. as always.
1890.4 Miles
3042.3 Kilometers
1641.6 Nautical Miles
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Yemen
seen from Poland
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from Türkiye
im gonna be far away. so far away. as always.
1890.4 Miles
3042.3 Kilometers
1641.6 Nautical Miles
I wrote to you.
I wrote to you .
you are not the same.
But I need you just as true.
One is to hug.
The other to embrace.
Someone to assure.
Another to tell me off.
you didn't and will never meet
'Cause one is high in the blue sea.
The other drowned in my tears.
The saddest thing is that people die, they leave.
The saddest, saddest thing is that people go on and forget and they don't have to care.
[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in] i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling) i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true) and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
BY E. E. CUMMINGS
yourfairygodmother
When you go home, at the end of the day, no matter how tired you are; you just can't resist the urge to turn on your PC and login to sites that has always been on your favorites, hoping to see his latest updates or his whereabouts and what has he been up to lately. Your heart sinks at the news that says "He's getting married". You try to scroll down endlessly checking out that girl that he's marrying, smiling and forcing yourself to be happy for him.
Later on when you've had enough of that holding back the tears, you turn your PC off and lie on your bed burying your face on the pillows trying your hardest not to let anyone hear. You then tell yourself: " There goes my man whom I have loved for as long as God knows when. So much for a happy ending?".
The only reason you stayed single up till this day. No matter how your chest hurts, you force a smile and looked up to the picture on your bedside table, your most favorite picture of him. You say, "it's okay, and I'm happy for your but don't expect me to congratulate you. It hurts you know?"
You try to get on with your life; you start by taking away anything that reminds you of him from your desk in the office, to your ringtone that used to be your most favorite song of him is now replaced with today's hottest hit. But amongst all of these stuff, you still keep one photo. The first photo you've had from the very first gathering in your fandom that you've attended. The only photo that will remind you of the person whom you have loved more than any fan could. The person whom you have bought every single album he released, whose concerts you've never missed since you've become his fan and whose selcas you've seen and saved on your hard drive.
Because a fan girl don't just find an idol for the sake of having one. Sometimes, they love them with all their hearts and promises to support them till the end of time. Why? It's simply because this idol might have been the only thing that kept them sane when everything else around makes them go crazy.
Because an idol will always be a fan's knight in shining armor in times when they have no one else to lean on. They will always be a living proof of a prince charming in fairy tales, it's just that sometimes we might not be the princess to live happily ever after with; but the fairy godmother who helped in making it come true for him.
thanks for writing this and allowing me to post this here, Ai.
I really, really really liked him... I liked his voice. I liked that he took existentially fraught free throws. I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointment in the Department of having a voice That Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin. And I liked that he had two names.
Hazel talking about Gus in Fault in Our Stars
belated
Happy Birthday!!!
Wherever you are.
Whether you'll ever read this or not. Most likely definitely not.
I will try very hard not to make this about myself.
Because mostly I've been writing/talking about your effect on me.
But how will I ever separate those things?
Gah!
Oh well.
It's your birthday.
You're older, hopefully wiser, and wilder(?) loool
On the most superficial side,
I wish you all the best in the world.
Really.
Well, really.
I wish you get rid of a delusional, uber-denial, warak
and maladapting fan like me.
This way, your life will be easier.
You will not be miserable living your idol life,
with all the secrets and half-truths and
connivances that you have to live through.
On a separate thought,
perhaps you revel in this too?
I doubt.
And isn't that the best gift in the whole
wide sapphire blue sea?
Another year of no pretensions, no secrets,
just being you. in and out.
(Oh my, this turned out to be about me again? :[ )
How will I ever get past this phase???!!!!!!
OK. Fine.
doooniee and comingfromtheheart143, you are now officially allowed to follow my blog, even though it pains me a lot and i am dying in shame and embarrassment. O.O
That's what ELFriends are for.