This was inspired by Lara Jean.
There’s something about the people that we never dated that seems to linger in the back of our minds. In my personal opinion these people are harder to get over than the people I’ve actually dated. The people I actually dated -I already know what it was like and all the reasons it didn’t work out. But the people I almost dated- those are the ones that linger in my mind. It makes me think what could've been and be so curious of how it might've been like if we had dated.
I’m supposed to be learning and growing but I see a pattern in my love life. I always go for the ones that don’t want me. (call me toxic). I reject people and then the second they move on from me I change my mind. It’s like I like the challenge? If a person straight up tells me they want me- all of me- I shut them down and runaway. But when a person moves on from me, or doesn’t want me all of the sudden I want them. Why am I like this? This is a very serious question that I have yet to answer. I guess the takeaway from this is that I learned to not shut people down too soon. To give people a chance before it’s too late. I just love to chase people that are out of reach...or that was once in reach and no longer there. I don’t want to keep making the same mistakes when it comes to my love life - this is a pattern I need to break.
I feel like I’m chasing you despite the fact that I told myself that I wouldn’t chase an idea of someone whose already gone.