“we repeat what we don’t repair”
i’ve always said “healing comes in waves” and this forced time to sit still and feel all the feelings i typically breeze past in my busy day to day are crashing into me. it doesn’t feel bad, i’m just feeling a lot. constantly being reminded that, we (humans) don’t learn, most anything, all at once. and that’s okay.
giving myself grace and room to learn the lessons of today. to take what i need and move forward. i tend to get stuck in the “unpacking” of a thing. ive had a poor habit of getting stuck at feeling uncomfortable and instead of digging deeper and trying to find understanding, i push past and avoid. i tend to take what i want, not what i need. and think i’m doing fine until the avoidance becomes debilitating and life forces me to sit in my shit.
i don’t like that feeling. the feeling of playing catch up or whack-a-mole in my life. making the conscious effort to make decisions that line up with the life i want for myself physically, spiritually, emotionally is work but it’s well worth it.
“i can be whatever i want to be according to my mental and physical abilities and the application of my will.”
~a letter to myself,
love yourself baby, you are worth it.
