why does my brain constantly search for something to be in pain over. like overall most things are pretty fine in my life and i’m so thankful, yet my mood stays swinging from okayish/meh to shitty

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why does my brain constantly search for something to be in pain over. like overall most things are pretty fine in my life and i’m so thankful, yet my mood stays swinging from okayish/meh to shitty
I haven’t left my house in a week
The last time I left the house was for my job and before that I had been in my house for another week
All I’ve been doing is sleeping
Luckily I’m sleeping over at a friends house soon but I’m gonna go crazy if I don’t get out of this fucking house more often
just trying to piece together my life
i need to be in a forest so bad it's making me sick .
I really wish I could draw a lot more but I'm struggling a lot with my mental health so it's hard to find the motivation to do anything...😔
Havung a more depressive day than usual so I’m gonna cry in the shower
I don’t cry that often and sometimes when I do it feels relieving like a burden is being lifted off my shoulders
Maybe it’s because i unintentionally Bottle up my emotions
Anyways does anyone have any Yandere comfort fic recommendations?
my motivation is still so shot 😭
forever praying for a clear calling to follow