Backstreets Back Challenge Fic here is my entry @thefanficfaerie wishing you a Happy Birthday!! <3
To @unicorns-and-fairy-dust for editing I have no words other than I love you so much and thank you as I know you are very busy! <3 P.s. If you want to listen to the song whilst reading this fic although it may need to be on loop! For the full experience! You may need tissues
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem Reader
Rating: G
Warnings: Small Angst, Angst, Possible tissues needed?
Summary: Steve Rogers needs to make a decision. (I so suck at these!)
Coming home from tough, hard-won mission dirt tired, and exhausted from the emotional toll it took on his body. Steve walked closer to your room his hair longer than he normally would have worn it; He looked haggard and wild with his beard unkempt and ungroomed. His eyes looked tired and exhausted from the stress. It was only recently that he had plucked up the courage to propose, after 3 years of dating. A simple candlelight dinner which he made from scratch and had warmed your heart. Remembering these special moments brought a smile to his face, he approached the door to your room sluggishly and placed his hand on the palm reader to enter the room.
It felt like he had been doused with a bucket of ice.
The words that were said in fear, sadness, and anger. He was going on missions less and less, only on the really big missions was he asked to join the Avengers to take on the big fights as to spend more and more time with you. Which you understood knowing he was Steve Rogers first but he was also a Soldier and is it’s ingrained in him to fight the good fight, to protect the people that can’t protect themselves. For some reason, this time was no different. It was not long after getting the text about another mission he told you and your reaction was different, no warm hug or smile, no hug or kiss for good luck. You’d sighed and said "This is all it will be! Spending time together and then you being called in, to leave and fight and to go for days, weeks, or months on end with the fear of not hearing from you, no message, not knowing if you would be coming home this time! Or... Would this be the last time?'
He did everything to reassure you that he was coming back it would be 2 days tops! No more than 3 at the most. Remembering how distraught you had become, the tears of fear and anger pouring down your face, the sobs in between the yelling. Until he said he had to go, that they would take this up again when he got back. By then you had turned your back on him and said "whatever". He’d left with his bag over his right shoulder and looking at you with such heartache, “I love you! I’ll see you soon!” the only response he’d got was the sobbing from the bedroom. Heavy hearted he’d left to meet up on the Quinjet with the rest of the gang.
It felt like it was yesterday when he’d gotten back home, two days as promised, and found you gone; all of your clothes and items cleaned out. The only thing left behind was the engagement ring left alone on the kitchen table with a note explaining that you thought you could do this! Be supportive and understanding his job, protecting the people. And realizing that deep down you couldn’t anymore that you loved him but this was for the best.
The shock and despair hit him, hands trembling holding the note and the ring in his palm, both being hit by the tears streaming down his face. He didn’t even know he was sobbing till his shoulder was grab and turned around by Bucky who looked at him with worry. Faintly hearing his voice as a dulled background noise, his gaze readjusting to see Bucky’s lips move. The note was torn from his hands as they read it silently then the hug that came after.
Six months later, hand paused over the panel, placing his palm down and the beep and the green light flicker on the pad, the door clicked open. The apartment was still bear other than his clothes in his side of the closet. Six months of looking and trying to find you, despite what his teammates telling him, 'it’s been six months maybe she doesn’t want to see you, hear from you.' 'Maybe.... Maybe it’s time to move on let her go' But he couldn’t clenching his fist’s and trying to hold back the tears as he thought of that day and the days after, the endless yearning, the need to hold you, touch you, the laughs and the smiles! It still hurt too much. The first thing he did when he put his bag on the couch removed his phone from his pocket seeing the texts and the calls he sent you. Opening up the messages finding your name tapping it seeing yesterday's text message. Sitting down next to his bag he turned the radio on and picked a channel, meanwhile he began typing out a message, that he loved you, missed you and to please let him know that you were safe! Hearing a knock on the door and opening to have Bucky poke his head in looking worried asking if he wanted to join them downstairs for Avengers Bowling “No not tonight maybe some other time!” Bucky implored him to join them as this stress, worrying and not eating wasn’t doing anyone any good! Getting no response Bucky left with a huff, the door shutting itself, looking to the wall next to the kitchen and seeing the photo snaps of their life together from their first date till just after their engagement to six months ago; the smiles, laughs and looks of adoring never ending love! Covering his face with his hands he'd not realized his beard had grown long and unruly, his hair long and unkempt. Before the sobs took over.
Trying to gather himself under control he went to go have a shower, when as he was approaching the bedroom it hit him out of nowhere; recalling a conversation they had two years into their relationship if they could go anywhere in the world, to unwind where would they go?
Quickly changing clothes grabbing his wallet and keys, bolting out of the apartment. Running down the corridor yelling at F.R.I.D.A.Y. to get the Quinjet ready, past his teammates nearly crashing into them as he headed for the second Quinjet that was always in standby for emergencies. Ignoring the shouting from the team asking where he was going in such a hurry. F.R.I.D.A.Y. just barely got the door open in time before he barreled through, speeding up to get to the ramp and hitting the close button frantically, doing the flight checks and typing in the coordinates for his destination, asking F.R.I.D.A.Y. to get the jet ready and some music to accompany him on the long journey! *music starts to play that seemed fitting for the journey and fitting of this situation* buckling himself in his seat, asking her to let the team know what he may or may not be back by tomorrow for movie night. As F.R.I.D.A.Y. confirmed that the jet was ready for take off he launched into the sky heading to where he hoped you’d be in his mind your words telling him where you could possibly be? Placing his left hand over his chest pocket feeling the engagement ring pushing against his hand and chest hoping against hope you were there as he didn’t know what he would do after this if you weren’t!
