#juno steel

[grasshopperingg]

its missing them hours

[shiploaf]

When Juno’s hair gets wet, can he just like not see anymore?

[rurousha]

In my heart, in my head

Please note that I wrote this right after I listened to The Midnight Fox but before I listened to The Train from Nowhere. That means I knew nothing about Nureyev’s past or motivation. I also thought that he had a stronger connection to Dark Matters than it simply being another alias, and this will reflect those assumptions.

“You’re Vicky’s… ugh. This day can’t get any worse.”

“Her contact indeed. Now, we have a long night ahead of us, Juno. But first, I think we have some unfinished business, don’t you.”

He steps up to me in just a few long strides. With two fingers, he grips my chin and turns my head so that I have to actually look at him. It’s that damn cologne. It overwhelms me, and I can’t seem to do the smart thing and step away.

“You’re gonna break my heart again, aren’t you?” I say.

Nureyev is already in my apartment, in my space, in my head. And I don’t even know how he made it into my heart in a single day, but here he is.

“I promise that was never my intention.” He actually sounds a little contrite about it. But he presses his hands against my waist, back and down until I bend my knees and sit on my lumpy sofa. He follows and straddles my thighs.

He is larger than I remember him being. Or maybe I just didn’t realize before how much lean muscle was underneath that suit before. I know now because my hands are already squeezing my way up his thighs and hips. Resisting temptation isn’t exactly my strong suit.

“Could have fooled me,” I say. I inject as much bitterness into my voice as I can. Which is actually really difficult with Nureyev tugging on and unwinding my tie. “You definitely tried, after all. Just need to figure out how to talk to everybody, right? Is there anything about you that’s genuine?”

I do my best to ignore the hypocrisy of that question.

Nureyev smiles down at me, all teeth and gloating. “The right combination of chivalry and flirting certainly worked on you, didn’t it? But I wasn’t lying when I said I found you sexy. And then, dear detective, you went and caught me out.” He yanks my tie away with the rasp of cheap fabric on fabric. “You were already attractive, but your righteous anger was something to behold. How could I resist that?”

“Very easily, apparently. I’ve been told very recently that it’s my worst trait.”

“More the fool them.”

He is unbuttoning my shirt, and I am still struggling to remember why he is here in the first place.

“What was it all about, hm?” I ask. “Money?”

“Money has its uses but is no real motivator.”

“Fun?”

“Oh certainly. But there’s more to life than just fun.” He pushes what of my shirt he can aside so that he can slide his warm palms across my chest. I feel the cool contrast of a couple metal rings he’s wearing, and it makes my skin prickle.

“Revenge?” I try to get back on track. “If this is about bringing down Dark Matters, I would get it. Hell, I would probably help you.”

“Don’t tempt me, Juno,” he says lowly. “If I thought for a second you would let me, I would whisk you away from here.”

“You could,” I say softly. In that moment, I don’t know if I really mean it. He looks down on me with soft eyes that say I am actually going to be the one to break his heart. I lean up enough to wrap a hand around the back of his neck and pull his mouth just barely to mine. “You could ask me,” I whisper against his lips.

He takes a few steadying breaths. I’m beginning to think this is a bad idea for completely different reasons than before. We are both going to end up hurt.

“Will you?,” Nureyev whispers. “Will you come with me?”

I hesitate for longer than I should. Then I release his head so he can lean back enough to finish unbuttoning my shirt.

I shake my head. “No.”

“No,” he agrees. “I did not think so.”

He pulls my shirt out from the waist of my pants, and the quiet moment is broken. He slides his warm palms up my waist.

“Then if you’re quite done teasing, Juno Steel, I would very much like to ride you until you weep.”

Between the two of us, Traveler, I don’t think that’s going to take long at all.

[thatwasfunnypleaselaugh]

Round 3: Juno Steel (Juno Steel, The Penumbra Podcast) vs Orange Splice (The Department of Variance of Somewhere, Ohio)

Juno Steel

Orange Splice

Remaining time: 4 days 12 hours

Propaganda under the cut

Juno Steel:

Juno is a lady of mystery. He is always a detective, even when he's actually an outlaw. He's also extremely bi and chasing around a homme fatale. Also, his cool detective narration thing is literally just him thinking instead of telling people things out loud. Also did I mention his childhood trauma? He has childhood trauma. (Submitted anonymously)

Orange Splice:

They/he. Makes up stupid excuses about the greater good to himself, but the truth is everyone to ever meet them was worse off for it. Radiates divorced energy. Trying to quit smoking and drinking and using other fun substances, but unfortunately was introduced to vapes by a teen in a restaurant. Always assures kids they work with that they're not in trouble, he's not with the police, and it's fine if they're different. Also is followed around by an eldritch gender neutral cat called Nya so do with that what you will. (Submitted anonymously)

I cannot stress enough how pathetic Orange is. His voice is rough from alcohol and tears. They're so so tired and done with it all, and yet they keep going. Not one person to ever meet them still remembers him. Please he needs this. (Submitted anonymously)

[k0di3]

Re-listening to Juno Steel and I’m currently on 4.11 and just got very sudden saddening reminders of the…associates…..

I’m listening to Nureyev’s telling of him and Slip and I hear “My associate”, grrrr die die you are so awful i hate all of you.

Not excited for what I know is happening next….

[townofaghost]

LOOK AT WHAT MY FRIEND MADE FOR ME I STARTED HOPPING AROUND WHEEZING IN PUBLIC I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT IT SHE IS THE BEST MF IN THE WHOLE WILD WORLD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH @di-vector

[strawberrysugasoba]

i just started the penumbra podcast again while deep cleaning, i hadn’t gotten very far the last time i listened (1.12), so it’s all just coming back to me how hard it is to listen and keep my mouth shut about it.

i seriously don’t think i could just pop a headphone in and walk around or do work with this playing because juno is literally y/n. the dialogue is so hard to listen to because it’s so wattpad but in such a good way. i probably couldn’t stop if i wanted to. it’s addicting really, kinda like those vertical movies but in a podcast.

similarly actual romantic development juno and rex/peter in the first two episodes has me shell shocked because how in the world is there actually action going on. i have been rage-bated by each podcast i’ve thoroughly listened because of a slow burn and years honestly of development between voices that i can’t believe it’s being served on a platter that “hey, these guys have tension and it’s real.”

[rurousha]

Nureyev in every episode of season 5:

(out loud) “God dammit, Juno’s here again!”

(internally) Thank god, Juno’s here again.