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Once Upon a Time, I Was a Young Hotass.

Now, this period lasted for several years, but during the Summer of Sin '07, my ass was particularly hot. I had just officially lost my v-card after graduation to a guy that didn't know he was journeying into undiscovered territory, so that 5 minutes of awkward humping severely lacking in the pleasure department. Needless to say, the experience left more to be desired, and I found an outlet in sites that had 3-letter acronyms.

I met this dude who had all the qualities I was looking for in boys at the time; He was cute, his body was cute, and that was all that mattered. So I decided to give this boy my number, and we talked, and he said he wanted to hang out. I decided to meet at the student center building of the school I would be attending in the fall because, while I was a young ass kid that was soooo parched, I wasn't a dummy and knew that meeting in a crowded, public place was safer than not doing that.

We met IRL, then we kissed, and about an hour later we did things with our mouths in the public bathroom. I was feeling those feel good feelings so much that I decided that I would go home with him so we could do more things. I was geeked because it was the first time I had been in a taxi. I get to his sparsely decorated place, and we get down to it, and it's...not worth the taxi ride, but he says he's really into me, so I don't delete his number, and continue to have mediocre sexy times with him.

It was booty.