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guy who is probably way more actively suicidal than it wants to admit: if I just reblog more posts about only hypothetically killing myself it’ll pass, right

#i. talk #feeling that resignation people feel when they finally come to peace with dying. again.#whatever. time will pass. seasons will change. what the fuck ever.

let it be known I called mikko beating up q hughes before the game even started. do the stars need a team oracle, but mostly just for the violent parts.

#i. talk #hockey tag #who possessed him to think throwing hands w moosey was gonna end well lmfao 😭#L + Ratio + Home ice #games that had me standing and yelling like a cis dudebro. genuinely gender affirming #meanwhile … looks so sadly at the sharks …#giving shak a gold star. everyone else is getting a sad knowing look.#except for wsh n macky… they tried :(#and kief for. Other reasons.#hi my tumblr mutuals. ive been consumed by hockey lately

I just know a vivisection would feel so good and would fix me, specifically me.

#i. talk #if i told yall this is the most popular thought ive had in the past 48 hours would you believe #- me

i know life is testing me more than usual lately because I’m running back to that old queen ( William Regal ) with the same feeling of ruining a sobriety streak. save me my mental idolized form of someone to protect me yet simultaneously who will hurt me but it’s okay because I want it, and I cannot separate kindness from pain.

#i. talk #filing this under things I maybe should actually bring up in therapy #but dont worry im fine. i just need to be beat with a tire iron really hard.

hehey guys. perpy thrusted his hips directly in-front of me during mummy dust tonight . its been nearly 4 hours now and i cannot stop thinking about that moment. and the whole ritual. and life.

#i. talk #ymy first ritual ever and the universe smiles upon me #maybe an entire life of suffering was worth it to have my favorite artist facefuck me from maybe 2/3 feet away max.#< this is only half a joke btw. the show and overqll are xperience ( including everything tjat wasnt this ) has me so.#so..#i cant even think anymore . but know tonights gonna have lasting implications. for yhe best j feel #i sobbed for 20 minutes as soon as i got back 2 my car in a very good way #this is legitimately the best i have ever felt in my life. or at the very least in the last decade #i feel this overwhelming loving peace and purpose . finally.#angways gonna fall asleep thjnkj g about everything <333

mutuals all posting abt wrestling at the same time is like a psychological circle jerk in a bonding way, to me

#i. talk #glad to see we all are hemophiliacs in the sex way #all we need for world peace is for everyone to get really freaky over contact sports theater

uncle’s funeral was today. feeling like that photo of a horse wistfully staring at a lake, taking a long drag of a cig, with the caption “much to ponder”. that might be something my brain is completely making up but there’s a chance it isn’t. oh well.

#i. talk #life has been so. much lately i feel unreal almost 24/7 #at least surgery’s a little over a week away but then that means months of pt after #thank fuck for bg3 else i think id implode without a distraction #but still. every night it gets harder to sleep again and its like a returning sickness im in denial of #i cant keep running from reality but dear fuckin god. could things at least have spaced themselves out a bit #whatever. tomorrow is another day and friday’s halloween #and i’m still on this earth so that’s something

#i. talk

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