#iamaboojum

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

Yo I had a thought last night and it’s probably not super coherent bc I feel Not Good right now BUT: Kate knows Hardison bc he’s David, but what if she also met all of the other members of the crew separately before finding out they were David’s other team (before they are a team?????)?

Because okay like. Elliot knows Clint, or maybe he tries to kill her when they accidentally end up on the same job.

Derek seems like exactly the kind of asshole that would try to commit insurance fraud, and be bad enough at it to warrant calling in Nate, but ass-cover-y enough to get away with it anyway.

Tara and Sophie both like running cons on wealthy idiots, so Kate probably met them at various Society™️ functions, and maybe caught on to the fact that they seem to be different people every time she meets them??? But doesn’t say anything, which confuses Tara and absolutely delights Sophie (this thought process started with me thinking “what if Sophie and Kate met years ago and Sophie started slowly teaching Kate grifter stuff as like. three different people. over the course of Kate’s teen years. what if.”)

Kate and Parker literally run into each other in the vents of some fancy-pants building. Kate is trying to escape a terribly boring fancy-pants gala/dinner/whatever. Parker is stealing things. They go different directions and both decide without telling each other that they’ll just. never mention this again to anyone ever.

And then Kate meets David’s other team.

💖Sabrina

actual video of me receiving this submission

!!!!!!

I've had thoughts about this on and off the past week but nothing this thought out!!! Mostly just "Harry was one of Derek's lawyers for a time"

And Eliot of COURSE knows Clint, but there's also the possibility that Eliot was hired to retrieve a kidnapped Kate as a teen? Or was a Bishop bodyguard at some point? ( or Eliot IS clint???????)

insurance fraud derek. yesyesyesssss. Kate meets Nate briefly and is pretty sure he eats people's souls for lunch. Kate unironically being like "who on our team is Nate? Who has the batshit mess ideas that invariably work out and is a human disaster but also strikes terror wherever he goes? Who can be half out of his gourd and still play you? Nate? Is Nate Our Nate Nate?" And her whole team is just going "don't make eye contact, don't look at her, don't look at her in the eye". I'm not saying Kate IS nate I'm just saying if you break him down to the bare essentials there's some Hawkeye smelling bullshit there, ok? I can see Kate being all " this is my evil adopted dad, but evil in a better way than my other dad," and Nate going "this is my fake daughter, a designer mess."

Omg a job where that's the cover. Kate as nate's daughter. Maggie gets roped in and just gives an eyebrow raise.Maggie KNOWS Kate isn’t, but she does a damn good “fuck yourself, rich man” speech

OOOOHHH my GOOOODDDDDDD, Sophie consistently running into Kate and teaching her grifting techniques as different people. I LOVE THIS SO MUCHHHH. Sophie is being introduced to Kate for the second time and Kate says something to the effect of "oh you look like this [whatever sophie was pretending to be for the last con] I met once." to let sophie know she knows, but other than that often kind of helps sophie? “you learn AND you con” sophie has done that before and it was with Kate. omg. 

kate knows sophie as so many different names and she never wants to use the wrong one and blow sophie’s con. one time kate just BLANKS and blurts out “mom”. sophie’s brain is just *RECORD SCREECH* and she has to go on a continent-spanning stealing tour for a month just to reach equilibrium. 

I’m seeing tiny Kate sitting cross-legged as her nanny Sophie teaches her how to read people. Parties where Susan is flirting, Kate is learning how to read a mark. Eventually saying “while you were busy being heterosexual i studied the grift”

galaxy brain is that Kate runs into Sophie on a Leverage con. sophie says “i know that person” and everyone is freaking out, "are you blown? do we need to get you out?" while Sophie is going " :D this is actually fantastic, she's never blown me on a con once" which makes everyone else go "???? did you used to work with her?" and how does she even TRY to explain that? “i liked this kid so much that I’d run cons on her family every few years so I could go back and teach her stuff”

Sophie vouches for Kate and ropes her into the con and Kate and David have one of these

at wherever they’re using as a base and they have matching “you’re a CRIMINAL??” moments which then of course leads to everyone asking how THEY know each other and WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE A SUPERHERO??? FOR REAL???

kate just. keeps. meeting. parker. in. vents. they NEVER mention it. you know that scene with parker and apollo in the vents talking about birds as distractions? something like that happens at least once. they talk about why they like vents. different reasons, but it’s nice to meet a fellow enthusiast. they run into each other once when Parker is with Leverage, before Kate meets David’s team. and they have that “shit i know you” moment. Kate signs to Parker, Parker signs back, they’re both stealing but different things so Parker doesn’t mention it. She would if something happened but she’s not going to interfere with someone else’s work

the more i’ve been thinking about this i’m OBsessed with the idea that everyone is excited for another grifter and Eliot is OVERJOYED because they’re WRONG, they don’t have another grifter they have another HITTER oh HELL yeah

bonus points if this is the first time Harry meets her as not-an-heiress, if he’s trying to hold back exasperation because Kate Bishop, heiress who was so irresponsible her dad cut her off (or whatever Derek is telling his fellow rich people), is supposed to HELP him?? how?? by drinking an entire bottle of champagne?. harry is doing some thief stuff. Eliot tells Kate to use harry as bait, a la the first episode, and kate just DROPS five guys WHILE she is in a floor length evening gown. no heels though, she hooked those into harry’s belt. . “Yoga, huh?” he says (because whenever anyone asks her what she’s been up to she always says “oh, a lot of yoga”)

i also have a lot of feelings about Jim Sterling getting roped into being a SHIELD agent and wrangling Young Avengers or Hawkeyes so just. Imagine him going to fetch his Hawkeye and she’s WHERE??? with WHOM??? he gets hazard pay on these trips because Eliot WILL punch him. At some point he gets injured really badly and Kate is the one who gets Olivia to the hospital, so when Sterling wakes up Olivia is really glad he’s okay!!! but um are you dating?? kate? bishop?? just. curious. (because obviously kate bishop isn’t a secret agent?? don’t be ridiculous)

kate is still in the room, pretending to sleep (in case the person comes back to try and finish the job) and he can TELL she’s laughing, What did he Do to Deserve this. Surely there is another believable explanation, MORE believable, why does his daughter think this, and more importantly, why is he still conscious

aanyway i love how you went “you know how you like to go ‘kate bishop is actually alec hardison’s problem?’ what if she was the problem of EVERY MEMBER OF LEVERAGE.” and i love it so much

[dresupi]

Ooh, these are fun! If you’re interested: Sansa/Oberyn/Ellaria, soulmate!au, meet cute, “fuck. fuck fuck fuck fuck this shit. fuck.”

Modern AU, Timer Soulmates

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck this shit. Fuck.”  Sansa glanced down at her watch and then back at the digital screen above the keypad of the lift.  It was stuck between floors.

And she was alone.

Normally, that would be enough to send her flying into a panic, but on top of that, the timer on her wrist kept counting down.  It was in the seconds now.  And the fucking lift was stuck. And it was going to start over again at one second because the universe hated her and never wanted her to find her soulmate. She was going to be alone forever, she might as well die in this lift.

She slid down to the ground as her timer hit twenty seconds.

Covering her face, she felt the lift shudder and brand new panic bloomed beneath her skin as the motor started back up.

Clasping her hands over her eyes, she almost didn’t hear the ding of the lift doors sliding open at the same second as her timer started beeping.

Along with another timer.

Actually two.

She peeked out from behind her hands and gazed up at the most beautiful couple she’d ever seen in her life.

“I… I…”

The man grinned, raising his eyebrows as he held out a hand. “I was wondering when we were going to finally meet you…” His hand felt warm and Sansa felt so starstruck, she almost didn’t care that they’d found her on the floor of a lift hiding behind her hands.

“Oberyn, she’s perfect,” the woman marveled. “I’m Ellaria. This is Oberyn, I apologize for his lack of manners. He was raised in a barn.”

Oberyn snort-laughed, and even though Sansa didn’t quite get the joke, she laughed as well.

“In Dorne, we have no barns,” he explained. “And what about you? What’s your name? Did you have barns where you grew up?”

“I’m Sansa Stark.  And yes, we did. But I wasn’t raised in one.”

While they were very different, both Oberyn’s and Ellaria’s laughs brought mirth instead of embarrassment. She allowed Oberyn to pull her up from the ground and she stayed still in his arms for the longest moment.

“Stop hogging her,” Ellaria groused, her hand smoothing over Sansa’s forearm until she clasped her hand and tugged her away from Oberyn.

“Are you hungry?” he asked, his smile was so bright it could light the whole of Westeros.

“Starving,” Sansa managed.

“Then we’ll eat. Get to know one another,” Ellaria stated.

“Come, ladies,” He held out both arms, and Ellaria rolled her eyes before stepping up to take the left.  He had to reach for Sansa, stepping into the lobby of the building and towards the doors.

It seemed that the universe didn’t hate her at all. In fact, it was likely trying to make up for all the horseshit it had thrown at her up until now. Sansa was perfectly fine with that.

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

Okay look you posted something forever ago about how hot Hardison was getting over Elliott being able to get all the pigments and you are absolutely correct. However. I am literally rewatching it right now and. They cut over to Harry after Elliott mentions his guy in Cyprus and Harry is also super into it. Our Mr. Wilson indeed, and in the first episode too. (also he seems uh. very impressed by Hardison’s tech. just saying.) 💖Sabrina

HARRY IS SUPER INTO ELIOT AT ALL TIMES. He's SO into the ot3. When Hardison asks for a favor? Harry's "anytime, anywhere" let me help you buy another goddamn building. you know i think the ot3 might have already stolen a Mr. Wilson. OURS. Sophie Stole him for us!

I think i might have to make a powerpoint about how into them Harry is.

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

My latest extremely chaotic nonsense thought: Anakin universe hops. He ends up with the Umbrella Academy. How much does he murder Reggie? Do his and Five’s murder gremlin energies cancel each other out, or do they become Even Worse? —💖Sabrina

i mean, bold assumption anakin is capable of recognizing a toxic father figure. i keep thinking "he and luther are in a competition to see who can be most cringe" only they have no idea they are.

if he's a kid when he comes over, and the academy is kids, I can see Reggie KNowing something is Up with Anakin, not knowing, and taking him in anyway. and Anakin would be like Luther, only less rule following. He’d be too unpredictable for Reginald to like but too powerful for him to ignore. And Anakin just wants approval, oh god he and Luther would just be this terrible spiral of “i just want someone to be proud of me like fuck i’m trying”

oh my god. GRACE. Anakin would adore her. he and Diego HATE each other but they bond over Grace. Anakin repairing Grace.

the other option is Anakin as an adult winding up with the adult academy (i mean he could be a kid but that's less chaotic, because all of these weirdo orphans would be all welp, guess we have a kid now? Allison is the only one with parenting skills and she is LIVING.)

and of course this means he's been yoinked from the clone wars and is basically just "where's my wife? i have to get back to my wife. nobody talk to my wife!" he and luther are still both really cringe. i don't think he and Vanya would get along but on the other hand I think Anakin would ADORE her, especially once she gets into her powers? he'd be all emojis at her, is she his padawan? he picks her up and carries her on his shoulders, it's been a long time since he could do that with Ahsoka and he misses it.

whatever you pick, Klaus loves him and he hates Klaus. because Klaus is just always fucking with him. and also perhaps because Anakin is followed around by a concerning amount of dead people.

also i guess we could go with anakin accidentally jumps his way into the commission, he and five are bitchy mcbitchersons together, and jump from the 60s together. god, imagine anakin at the kennedy assassination. he doesn't know why someone's trying to assassinate him but he's mad about it. got some misplaced padme feelings there--a government official big on democracy about to be killed? not on his watch.

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

For the OTP meme: DinKate 10 and 11 please 💖Sabrina

Love languages:

ALWAYS ALWAYS TENDERLY BANDAGING EACH OTHER'S WOUNDS. Also? Very big on physical contact. They have to be deliberate about it because helmet, but constant little touches. Also din being whatever kate needs in a fight--a wall, a shield, a ladder, a table, a blanket, a bed, HE WILL BE IT. Because, controversial opinion time, DIN IS A SUB. Or a switch probably but very service subby, he LOVES getting tossed around by Kate, are you even kidding me.

But Din is like. Caretaker Central. So any way he can be the provider is The Good Shit. Like, if he was rich he’d be her sugar daddy and if they could settle in one place he’d be Trophy Spouse. but he can’t do either of those things so he’s working with what he’s got. 

Do they get married? Who proposes and how? 

MARRIED BY FOOD MARRIED BY FOOD!!!! 

Or ok any cultural differences marriage where Kate finally bites the bullet and brings it up and Din is all ????? We're already?? Married??? And Kate has to Sit Down for a second. I think mando marriages involve exchange of small gifts and a promise. Din has been married to Kate longer than Kate has been married to Din. Which now that Kate KNOWS she feels BAD about it. They have to get married on earth so Kate's fam can celebrate so they have like three anniversaries. There's some cultural understanding barriers so Boba and Fennec walk Din down the aisle. Maybe lift his helmet off like a veil. Grogu is flower girl but eats all the flowers. Goose/Chewie is there for some reason and he and gogurt are besties. Baby Rey starts ripping apart an iron man suit Tony brought just in case. Its chaos. Its wonderful

(in a rebel!kate AU they get married for political reasons, so one of them can’t be arrested or something, and ALSO accidentally married by different customs)

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

Re: Kate using Mando as a an immovable object for shooting purposes—Since Mando can’t make out with Kate bc helmet, instead he backs her into the hull of the ship, gently caresses her face, squeezes her hip, and quietly tells her in great detail exactly how hot he thinks that was. How does she get back at him? 💖Sabrina

fuck, okay, fuck, I have been trying so hard to not be horny with this AU (because that’s my MO, crackship -> immediate horniness) but this is just BAITING me, hnnnng

So first of all there’s the tender response-pressing his forehead to hers and just breathing softly, hands heavy on her waist. They get back to the ship and he gathers his clan to him, holding and breathing them in, sinking into the fact that they can all keep each other safe

then there’s what you suggested--they can’t do much about it right away, but frankly, that’s....hummmm....not accurate. It basically depends on 2 things--is the Yodito asleep or being looked after, and if they’re alone. Because Kate might be cool as a cucumber, but Din is still amped up from prepping for a fight that didn’t happen and he wants her to know just how much he appreciates that. He’ll tuck one of his gloves away and use his bare hand to stroke the apple of Kate’s cheek, wipe the sweat away from her forehead. He just presses into her, all of his bulk between her and the rest of the world, and he watches how she swallows so hard he can almost hear it. His free hand squeezes her hip, grazing a fading bruise that he left there a few days ago, his voice hoarse as he tells her that’s one of the most impressive things he’s ever seen.

So okay, Kate’s not cool as a cucumber but she’s trying to be professional, which is hindered by the fact that Din is pressing his thigh between her legs at perfect grinding height, which she’s not going to do but then Din starts saying things, like how she’s the best shot he’s ever seen and how good she did.. She can’t see his eyes but somehow knows he’s staring at her, and that...is much hotter than it should be, but it’s just kind of part-and-parcel with the whole Mando persona, this hulking, intimidating presence that everyone fears and respects and all of his focus is lasered in on her. Telling her how impressive she is, how good her shots were, Kate’s never thought she had a praise kink before, but now? There’s just something about having someone that competent and terrifying, who almost everyone is scared of, telling her she’s a better shot than him, that just does something to her (and of course it’s a big Thing for Din, too. That she’s someone who outshoots him, who could take him in a physical fight, and here she’s just letting him press her up against his--her--their--ship, that kind of bald trust isn’t something her experiences all that often, and for it to be given so freely, so sweetly? He’s out of his fucking mind with it, he never wants to let it go)

So sometimes they get off like that, grinding against one another, Din murmuring praises in Kate’s ear, that she’s terrifying and impressive and he can’t wait to get his mouth on her, make her come until she cries, until she can’t remember his name or her name, just the feeling of his mouth on her. And sometimes she says things back, like how she’s going to fuck him open nice and slow, until he’s begging for it, until the only word he knows is “please” 

and then there’s this happening when Grogu is being watched by anyone, probably Boba and Fennec because chaos!grandparents ftw and Din doesn’t have to wait, he just backs her into the ship

and it’s like, Din wants to be inside her and wants her inside him, he wants anything and everything and he trusts her enough to ask for what he wants and trust her to give it to him, but in a situation where he’s impressed and awed by Kate, he kind wants to worship her, you know, so he’ll strip her slowly, peeling off every layer of clothing and armor, laying her out somewhere--probably not the shitty cot he sleeps on, not big enough, maybe the cockpit with blankets spread out, but someplace soft. A place she can spread out and he can look his fill, where he can take off his gloves and touch, soft skin and callouses and scars, his to see and touch because she trusts him. (and his to taste, too, to see and be seen when the helmet comes off, to be vulnerable and exposed and to trust one another with it)

He kisses her fingers, her palms, her wrists, her arms up to the corners of her eyes, a gentle press of lips against her eyelids that flutter shut as he gets near, every part of her that protected their clan today

and sometimes he doesn’t get that far, Kate beating him to the punch. She kisses every piece of his armor as she helps him take it off, as thanks for protecting the man underneath it. She kisses every part of him as it’s revealed, the chest and back that shielded her, the shoulder that steadied her, the hands that held her up. caring for his body not as a weapon or a tool but for the simple fact that it’s his, something Din has never managed to figure out how to do. Kate praises his body not just because of what it does but because it houses him. Like how she cares for his armor not because it’s beskar or because of any messages it sends, but because it protects him, and no other reason

i guess what i’m saying is that they try to be all “i’m horny” but in reality it’s like “i’m soft, let me take care of you”

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

*taps on the chaos ship microphone* Is this on? Good. Okay. Hear me out: Kate/Flynn/Eve (I refuse to let The Librarians die). Look, Flynn clearly has a type when it comes to women and that type is “very pretty and also could definitely break me in half” and Baird likes competence but also has a track record of being into reckless chaos gremlins and Kate fits all of those things. 💖Sabrina

lmao lmao i think i’ve written about this before??? or at least kate/eve??? i love this because kate IS like a chameleon, sometimes she’s suave and cool and kickass like Eve and SOMEtimes she is a reckless dumbass idiot but also smart? like Flynn?? And Kate getting a letter from the Library to be a Guardian but also getting into arguments with Stone about the chemical composition of 18th century paint AND having a steal-off with Ezekiel (EXTRA BONUS POINTS IS EZEKIEL A FORMER YOUNG AVENGER????) is just, just, PRIMO

Also I’m not saying Cal likes Kate best but I’m not NOT saying it, I’m also not saying that they wind up with a three headed dog ALSO named Cal, but I’m not NOT saying that, either, 

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

I tried to send this earlier, but I forgot to send it on anon so tumblr probably ate it, SO: I have no idea why, but my first thought after asking myself the question “what monster do I think you would be” was Baba Yaga’s house. Not Baba Yaga. Her house. Does that even count? Idk, but I think I’m going to go with it. 💖Sabrina

i LOVE IT. walking chicken leg house. very specific. a little creepy, but still a home, you know?