#iamnotinlove

[batoutofmel]

The world makes no sense to me

A ton of people I follow on Twitter have been like “come find me on Instagram!” and they’re like over there BLOGGING instead of posting photos. I just post photos! I’m an outlier apparently.

(I do know someone who posts photos and then about 25 hashtags, but they don’t tell a story, unless the story is “I’m lonely and awkward and desperate for love.” So am I! and it’s not healthy to try to be dignified EVERY minute, but sometimes, right?)

You know what it puts me in mind of is this new Black Friday Sale situation. Back In My Day(tm) Black Friday was an American sales event that transpired over the course of a single hellish, dystopian day. Then it came to Canada, and then the whole winter holiday season fucking METASTASIZED.

Black Friday in July! Okay..?

Black Friday Week! Friday doesn’t last a week, fuckos!

Now we’re seeing such as Early Black Friday Sale! in October, lasting for weeks. That, and barely any horror movies on TV in October, it’s Xmas already, shops used to wait till November 1st, but fuck MY drag, right? 

I’m not trying to be a dink, okay, it’s just how I’m wired. I’m capable of flexibility when it MATTERS, but this is just ruditude. 

[karaokai]

I created a world around you. And it seemed like love, but it wasn’t. I am not in love and I just don’t give a fuck about you.  But right now it seems like mess, in my mind.

[naivepennings]

"And I want to hate you, i want to hate you so much.. So fucking much that it hurts. It hurts to have a desire which your heart is completely against of."

[sunkcostandallthat]

tell me you love star and i'll tell you i love you

[helloseasmail-blog]

Я ловлю воспоминания тех дней, которые давно прошли. Я еду с друзьями в автобусе по темному городу, слушая музыку. И обязательно попадется именно та песня, что напоминает о тебе, о теплом лете, об объятиях, которые успокаивали душу, о разговорах о вечном под звездным небом. Мне не хватает.

[whatifssandwhatnots]

Friend.

I lost a friend this year.

Friend was very close to me.

Friend was one of those people I could always count on.

Friend was one of those who listen.

Friend was one of those who understand.

Friend was one of those people who would never ever judge me.

Friend was special to me.

Friend was once a friend to me.

But friend is no longer a friend.

It would take time for me to get over it. I need time. All I need is time.. and space.

8 years of friendship is quite a long time and is definitely not something you just throw away in an instant. But hey, people come and go. That's just how it is. And even if I should hate friend for shutting me out and for saying distressing things.. I still love friend.

I love friend. 6 months and it still hurts until now. It hurts so much. Every time I think about it, I cry.

I love friend. And I hope to never see him again.. at least.. not until I'm finally okay with everything.