#iamthedarkestcorner

[raesviem]

I've been thinking about attempting another 365 project. I've also been thinking about the selfie challenge. What if I posted pictures of myself

every day

for a year

imagine it

365 pictures of my face

[raesviem]

Another F*king Dragon Story?!

Or: Technically It's Only the Summary

I had fun writing this, so I'm posting it, and I don't even care if anyone else cares.

Warning: this is not the slightest bit serious or well-written. Also some minor profanity.

Well now this guy Lamorak comes along thinking he's gonna save the princess. So he comes riding in and everyone's laughing at him because talk about a stereotypical doucheprince. I mean, this guy's probably wearing a gold #SWAG necklace. So he's thinking "Well sure all these other guys bigger and stronger and better than me have tried and failed but I can totally do it! YOLO!" He comes into the castle and Bleo's just like "are you fuckin kidding me? Sure kid, go fight the dragon I'm rooting for you!" but really he's thinking "Nah, he's dead meat lol." Only Lamorak came with guards who're probably gonna take his armor and shit home when he dies so Bleo's a little bit miffed about that. But doucheprince isn't paying attention to him cause he's daydreaming about being king, so he goes on up to the castle alone like a fucking idiot and meets the ladies and they're all weeping and begging for help and totally boosting his ego, but all these armored skeletons lining the walls are kinda creeping him out.  But he goes up to the princess' tower anyway and HOLY SHIT THIS IS THE MOST ATTRACTIVE LADY HE'S EVER SEEN LIKE HE CAN HEAR THE HEAVENLY CHOIR SINGING HER PRAISES, y'know, nevermind she's like maybe half his age. So she thanks him for coming to save her and starts some small talk but now he's like "chika there is a dragon somewhere we need to go." But she keeps talking and damn she is attractive so he just stands there and does not even see the maid coming up behind him with a medieval baseball bat and BAM he is out cold. 

Doucheprince wakes up and he's tied up and shoved in the pantry or something only he's still in the princess' room and she's just sitting there smiling at him and-- oh shit he's in the fireplace. Now he's thinking "oh shit this crazy lady's gonna feed me to the dragon" cause he's pretty stupid and hasn't put two and two together yet, so he's panicking and telling the princess she doesn't have to do this; he loves her, love at first sight!!!1!!one1!! etc; doesn't she want to see the outside world?; they'll go on adventures together! and she just listens. Finally she says "You make a good point, I do want to leave" and her maids are thinking "oh shit" but they're not try and stop her, and she goes up to dp and he's thinking she's gonna cut him loose or something but NOPE she lights a fire right underneath his ass. Then she sits back and watches his slow and agonizing death which probably smells, but she hasn't bathed in like ten years, so she can't be much better. And then psycho princess and head maid probably slaughter all the other maids or something and go off on adventures and become notorious serial killers while Bleo pouts bc no more corpses to loot but hey, he's still king.

[zenghiaro]

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Hello, new friends. You're obviously all here because I am very attractive, and SOMEONE recently called me a cutie (thanks Disser!). Feel free to send me questions, comments, or requests for further selfies at any time!

[toxicsky]

buynewsoul replied to your post“I really want to start a band. An avant-garde experimental prog-metal...”

I'm down. But you're kinda far lol

iamthedarkestcorner replied to your post“I really want to start a band. An avant-garde experimental prog-metal...”

Hnnnnnng...

It seems a bunch of people are interested, an with the instrumentation given I'm going to try and see if people are up for something Diablo Swing Orchestra-esque. I'll post some sort of update to if this ends up working out! ^^