#iceshrouded

[icehaloed-a]

if there was a lesson in life that almost sounded like mockery to ur, it was this: life goes on. yes, it was true. it did. as did time --- her daughter had grown up against all odds, her students were grown men --- but it had forgotten her, hundreds of days ago. there had been nothing  ( a whole lot of nothing )  for a long time. nothing, even more nothing and then . . . she was not sure how to phrase it.

as certain as she had been of the absence of anything, she had become aware of the presence of everything. it was as if a switch had been flipped, as if she had been torn out of the limbo she had been stuck in --- not quite dead but also far from alive. and maybe this was accurate; perhaps the coin that had been flipped so long ago  ( seventeen years ago )  had finally fallen.

and after what had felt like eons of stagnation, the world  ( her world )  had started to move again. it had spun so quickly that she had been hurled, head first, into a life that had become foreign to her. and yet, this was where she belonged. this weird, unfamiliar place was part of the hand she had been dealt, was what she had to carve out a place for herself in. this was something she used to be good at, but change had never been as abrupt.

her daughter was alive. weakened, yes, but not hanging by a thread. ultear’s condition was slowly improving, she was looking a little healthier than before whenever ur looked after her. the progress was slow and ultear was not yet waking up, but she was alive and this was all ur could ever have asked for. some days, it felt as if this was already more than she could have asked for, but ur was tired, but not too tired to wrestle with fate if this was what was asked of her.

alas --- she needed food. whether she liked it or not  ( she did not ),  she had to leave the cottage --- so safely hidden in the woods, far from any hiking routes --- to buy new food, new ink and newspapers. and especially the latter were ridiculously overpriced, she mused grimly as she counted her money before shoving her wallet back into her pocket. complaining would not help, would it? she had missed seventeen years already, she could hardly go and miss out on even more. she did not stomp as she left the little town  ( stomping was immature )  but she did sigh quietly as she strayed off the road and drifted towards the imposing line of trees.

only that her path was bound to be intercepted because between two pine trees stood a man. a tall man --- not that this said much; she was rather short --- who was wearing a cloak that looked the way she felt: threadbare. but --- the state of the cloak did not matter. not when she recognised the posture, not when  ( despite her better knowledge )  something like recognition and hope began to take flight within her heart. she knew him. she knew him, and every step she took towards him, every step that thawed away, allowed her to make out another detail that she remembered, that she knew. the scruff . . . the organised mess atop his head . . . even the earrings. 

puzzle pieces that came together to show her a picture she had not seen in a very long time.

clinging to her bag with one hand, she fought for breath, for a clear head. alas, it was not very successful. her thoughts kept racing, too fast for her to catch them and finish them, and her mouth opened to let out words before she even knew what to say. ‘ ‘ solomon, ’ ’ she whispered, unable to look away or even blink --- afraid that he could disappear if she broke eye contact for even the tiniest fracture of a second. ‘ ‘ solomon, ’ ’ she repeated as she took another shaky step towards him. ‘ ‘ it is you. ’ ’

❄ * @iceshrouded​​​

[icehaloed]

pluck - from iceshrouded

pluck, sender plucks something out of receiver’s hair.

Love was strange, was persistent. It was gentle, maybe, but if it was, it was gentle the way that frostbite snuck up on you. Soft footed, velvet touched---but able to cut so very deep. She was familiar with frostbite. She was less familiar with love. She could just recognise it, but she never dared to push at it too much. It could fall apart. She could not risk that. It was too precious, too fragile.

Like an ice crystal.

Solomon's approach, too, was always quieter than people would expect. He was quite big, after all. She turned her head to look at him, a smile appearing on her face. It was a nice autumn day, a perfect day to prepare the garden for the oncoming winter. '' Hey, '' she said as she leaned against her shovel. '' The ground's not yet frozen, that's perfect. ''

He laughed---a deep, rumbling sound from deep within his chest---as he crossed their garden with half as many steps as it would take her to accomplish the same before one hand cupped the side of her face as the other fussed with her hair. Then, he let go and a leaf, orange gold and perfect, fluttered away on a breeze. She smiled, resting her head against his arm for a moment.

@iceshrouded

[timeshrouded]

❛ want some hot chocolate? ❜

from this meme here

if it wasn’t for the wind, ultear would not be as cold as she currently is. that is something she knows to be Very true. after all, was she not the blood of an ice demon (if that’s his thing, she’s actually never truly asked fully) and the creator of ice make magic? the cold shouldn’t bother her. it wasn’t allowed. and yet...

wind chill is a different beast. the wind was always so cold, too. it was the cold in the summer and spring as well. it just had a different bite in the fall and winter. still, the shivering has now ceased after she got it under control and the question, she knew was genuine. it wasn’t a dig at her lack of immunity to the cold even if a part of her thought it at first. 

“sure...with whipped cream, if we have it.” ultear smiled. “and we can catch up from the time i was gone.”

[killrate]

‘ you’re always welcome here. ’

♡ @iceshrouded

She was not built for the mountains, or for the cold. Nor was she built for solitude, and she had not been thrilled for that aspect of her... detour─except she had not been so alone.

And of all the people she'd expect to meet up there in the snow and ice, it was not the young, lovely couple she'd come across. It had been... Eight years, since she'd last had any ' neighbour ' of sorts, who had truly cared to be in one another's company, to talk & have tea, and laugh─and learn, so, so much.

They are what makes this departure bittersweet. Mary had not come prepared to lament bidding the mountains farewell. But it's not the snow she'll be missing, it's them─who so happily seem to reside here.

Mary smiles up at Solomon, nodding in acknowledgement. ❝... Thank you, Sol. Really. I'll do my best to write to you guys when I can. I hope the pigeons don't freeze to death on the way up─oh, wait. They use hawks in Iris, don't they?❞ She laughs. No, a pigeon would never make it.

spring cleaning the inbox, don’t mind me !

[icehaloed]

✦

6 .  ‘ i’m sorry ’  kiss  .

with an impatient burst of raw magic, she forced her way through what had been a brick wall and out into the open  ( or what was left of it ).  a quick look to the skies showed her nothing but grey, cloud-drunk muddiness, and she cursed under her breath as she climbed out of the wreckage.  the house, nay, the town was in shambles and there were little fire everywhere, but there was no one in sight.  no airships, no alvarezian soldiers, no dead or injured civilians --- not solomon.  he had been right next to her, less than a minute ago, and she was certain that the spell she had used to shove him out of the way had connected.

( much like the spell that had thrown her into a crumbling building. )

‘ ‘ sol? ’ ’ she called as she looked around, crafting pillars of ice to stabilise anything that was still standing as her stomach clenched painfully.  she had known this city well --- it had been one of deliora’s first targets and she had been so happy to have seen it rebuilt when she had . . . come back.  to see it in ruins again, to see the efforts of the stubborn inhabitants turned to dust was not easy for her.  once this was over, properly over, she would come back to help them rebuild, she resolved as she created a halberd to help her clear her way and search for her missing partner.  there would be many cities like this, but she knew the people of her chosen home --- they were hardy and stubborn enough to face any northern winter, they would come back from this as well.

‘ ‘ babe? can you hear me? ’ ’ she called as she carefully used the dull end to poke into a small mountain of rubble.  ‘ ‘ are you in here, sol? ’ ’ she asked, waiting for a reply and receiving none.  muttering curses beneath her breath, she continued her search.  after she had found him and helped the people of amadis with the reconstruction of their home, she would devote some time into magic that would allow her to find living beings amidst ruins.  it was not a new goal, she had wanted to do the same when deliora had brought death and destruction, but she had not been . . . in the right state of mind to learn new magic, then. now, this should be different.

on the left of what had been the plaza, maybe a couple steps away from where she had bought new boots two weeks ago, something moved and hope let her heart soar high as any bird.  ‘ ur? that you? ’  solomon’s voice was hoarse and rough, but to her, no angelic choir could possibly have sounded sweeter.  ‘ i’m over here. ’

letting go of the breath she had been holding, she dropped her halberd; never had she been happier to hear his voice, even if it sounded like dust and gravel was stuck between his vocal chords.  she flew more that she dashed towards the area where the voice had come from.  ‘ ‘ it is me, yes, ’ ’ she replied as she reached out to help him free himself, only to shield her face against flying pebbles a moment later when solomon was the one who let his aura break him out.  ‘ ‘ next time, give me a warning, ’ ’ she scolded gently as she reached up to dust off his armour. ‘ ‘ you okay? ’ ’

coughing and reaching for his water bottle, he nodded slowly as he surveyed the damage around them.  ‘ yeah, you cracked my rib when you sent me flying, ’ he added as an amused afterthought, ‘ but that blast would’ve done more damage. ’

‘ ‘ i didn’t mean to hurt you, ’ ’ she responded as she climbed onto another rubble pile and pulled him towards her to kiss him soundly as her hands busied themselves with cooling the growing bruises on his face. it would not avert the entire damage, but it should make what was to come a great deal more bearable.  ‘ ‘ and i wish we had more time, but . . .  we are pretty exposed here, and i worry that the airship could circle back. ’ ’ 

he hummed softly as he pressed his forehead against hers, nodding in agreement.  ‘ let’s just extinguish these fires and get off his mountain before anyone comes to check up on us, ’  he said as his eyebrows knitted together.  ‘ i don’t like any of this. ’

[icehaloed]

@iceshrouded​ sent  →   ‘ i lived in the permafrost of your absence for twenty years & now you look at me & i feel the warmth of spring. ’

a soft laugh sprang forth from her lips as she shook her head, dark eyes searching his.she had missed him, had missed him dearly. perhaps not for twenty years  ( she did not think she had missed anything or anyone when she had been . . . gone )  but she had missed him.  ‘ ‘ i would wager that most people would associate my presence with the cold, not my absence, ’ ’ she replied with a shrug --- it was a simple fact, for her.  she was someone who not only used ice magic but also someone who had made her home in one of the least welcoming parts of fiore; it was only natural that at first glance, she appeared to be . . . cold.  this was the fate of all ice mages, she supposed, that people mistook magic for personality.

reaching out, she ran her forefinger along his scar, her lips quirking upwards.  under her touch, he felt warm.  like sunshine.  like an old, favourite sweater.  like home.  she had never been the sort for --- grand romantic gestures, not like he was, but she could still appreciate them . . . and they had found a rhythm where his displays and hers were a dance, where they matched without either of them having to leave their comfort zone.  she liked it this way, better than she could quite express; both of them got what they wanted, neither of them had to bend in a way they were not meant to.  ‘ ‘ sol, love, ’ ’ she said simply as she reached for the side of his face with her second hand as well, holding it steady for a moment before leaning in to press a kiss against his lips.

there was his smirk, pressed against her mouth, and she almost had to laugh.  as much as he would hate to hear this, he sometimes was predictable.  at least to her.  it was what made them good partners --- and this was the term she preferred these days, vague as it was.  he was her love, her lover, the father of their daughter, the one who patiently listened to her rambles on spell theory for hours to help her fix mistakes, the one who helped her in the household  ( and who could bake a pretty good apple pie himself ).  others might not understand, but this was fine.  she did not understand them either.

it was easy to let herself fall into his arms, warm and welcoming as they were, and to let him hold her.  it was even easier to grin up at him  ( because he was deplorably tall ) and to wink.  she did not like to consider that one day, she would leave in a way she could not will herself to come back from.  she hoped it was far off, but --- human life was oh so fragile.  a sickness, a misstep, an avalanche --- and it was over.  those were unpleasant thoughts, however, thoughts she did not like to spend her time on as all her thinking could not change the outcome.  ‘ ‘ are you warm enough? ’ ’ she asked instead as she rested her hands on his shoulders.  ‘ ‘ because i can keep looking at you for a bit longer.  i don’t mind, at all. ’ ’

[icehaloed]

❝ What do you want then? ❞

still lounging on the couch  ( which they would have to replace, each time she moved, new clouds of dust rose ),  ur sighed.  he had always been good when it came to loaded questions, but the time spent apart had only made him better.  she reached out for him and silently he moved within her reach, letting her tug him closer until they were both a pile of mismatched limbs and plaid blankets.  the blankets were new, solomon had brought them back from one of his shopping trips and piled them onto her without an explanation, almost making her laugh.

‘ ‘ i don’t know, honestly, ’ ’ she admitted as she rested her forearms on his chest, her cheek pressed against his.  maybe that was a lie, however --- there were things that she wanted, things that she might even need, but the knowledge that after the time she had been alone, she did not want to be alone again, this wore heavy on her.  it was a strange, foreign feeling, she had always been good on her own, had been happy with her research and her magic.

when she had been a child, her mother had bemoaned it --- how her youngest had been . . . withdrawn, how ur had always been just as happy on her own as she had been in company of her family, if not happier.  if had been difficult for her mother, for her father, she understood this now to have a child that always seemed a little absent, and she knew that she had not made it easier when she had not gone home after ultear, after ultear---

solomon’s hand, curling against her nape, snapped her out of the thoughts before she could begin to spiral.  his grasp was firm, but it was warm as well . . . surely not what most would expect from him.  she smiled as she nodded slowly, reaching for his cheek to trace the upper edge of his beard with her forefinger.  ‘ ‘ don’t i have all i could want? ’ ’ she asked back as she shifted, searching the warmth of the blankets and finding it. ‘ ‘ you are here, we know that ultear is as safe as she lets herself be.  there are no battles left to fight for me, no riddles left to crack open. ’ ’

to want more, it would seem greedy.  and even if she was the greedy sort, she would not know where to begin wanting --- their house was in a decent shape, most of their interior had survived decades of disuse and the local youth had left it alone; the wards she had put in place before leaving to face deliora had done the rest of the work.

and maybe there was a part of her that would always hunger for a challenge, and maybe this part of her was starving, but it was as she had said --- there was nothing for her to feed it with.  this was not a bad thing, either; ur had walked the fine line between curiosity and obsession before and she knew that a small mistake could turn the best intentions to a sure path to hell.  she had seen it happen to others, there were countless names in history of people who had set out with noble goals in mind, only to be remembered for their misdeeds.

challenges, her brother would argue, would come to her whether she was ready or not, and whether she was sixteen or thirty-four / fifty-one, frans had an unfortunate habit of being right when he presented these words of wisdom  ( which he probably had read on the label of a tea bag ).  so challenges were probably something she did not have to want --- which was perhaps not for the worst, she decided; it was debatable how solomon would bring her one as he was just as restricted in his movement as she was, if not more.

he would try, she knew that.  he would try and endanger himself because that was the kind of man he was, but she would not send him on that sort of errand because she was not that kind of person.  and because she loved him and because she did not think that she could bear this self-imposed exile with anyone else by her side.  though there was a thought, no?  she had grown weary of the same routine, every single day, of being at home everyday unless she went into town for new groceries and other necessities.  she had never cared much for the bustle of the big cities, but she found herself missing . . . something.

looking at her partner, she smiled as she let her fingers tap the path from his cheekbone to his eye before letting them rest against his scar, massaging it gently. ‘ ‘ aside from a new couch, i might want to teach again, ’ ’ she finally said quietly before lifting a hand, ‘ ‘ not magic, i don’t think that would be wise, but --- y’know, language, mathematics . . . history, once i caught up on what happened in the last twenty years. i liked teaching, it was fun, and there are kids around here who’d benefit from learning from someone who was taught by the best teachers money could hire. ’ ’

[icehaloed]

❝ Better terrible truths than kind lies. ❞ - royal fantasy

no one had said that rulership would be easy.  quite the opposite: ur had lost count of how many heavy crowns she had read since she had ascended.  the truth had been sacrificed, now and then --- usually only in parts, she was not a good liar, at the end of the day --- and it hurt like another five knives in her back.  this was not just she had wanted to ensure she would keep both crown and head, but she had run out of options a long time ago.  lost in thought, she offered her guest the silver bowl of fruit --- sidae had to import it from countries of milder climate, making even a selection of apples more of a luxury than she cared to admit.

lowering her eyelashes like a curtain until he was the only one left in her focus, a wry smile crossed her face. ‘ ‘ we are long past either, wouldn’t you agree? ’ ’ she retorted kindly, any form of address swallowed with another sip of wine.  she had given her country her all, there was not more it could demand of her . . . and neither could the noblemen who were watching her with keen eyes, always waiting for a misstep they could benefit from.  these days, she mused as she reached for her water glass, the vultures were the most dependable on dance partners she could ask for.  anyone else, much like two decades ago, was too much of a risk.

sipping her water and meeting the gaze of the captain of her guard with a nod, she turned back to her guest. ‘ ‘ nevertheless, ’ ’ she continued idly, though the glint in her eyes belied her as always, ‘ ‘ i hope for days of sweeter truths.  one day. ’ ’