I'm. Probably not going to be back for a long while. After losing Huron on Saturday I came outside this morning to find out that Pog was gone.
Pog was my first bird. I had worked with birds for years at that point but he was the first one that I ever took in. He was my world. He is my world. Sometime last night he passed peacefully in his sleep. I found him beneath his sleeping perch this morning.
Today was his birthday. He would have been 5.
I don't know why we lost him so soon. I would give anything to know. Ultimately he didn't suffer and that's really all I can ask for.
I don't even have the words really. All of this is because of him. All of it. I would never have started rescuing on my own without him. He changed my entire life. He got me through some of the toughest shit I have ever endured.
There has never been and will never be another bird like him. I never thought we would be separated this soon. 15, 20, 25 years would have never fucking been enough but certainly not 5.
My boy is gone. I don't know how to keep going without him. The aviary is so so quiet. Shrimp sings their partner song but the other half is missing. Onyx has his laugh but its inflection is different. Condor copies his whistles but never quite perfected the notes.
I will never hear him yell "Good morning!!!" when he's excited about breakfast again. He'll never swear just to make me laugh and then laugh along with me again. We will never play catch with bugs again. He will never tell me he loves me again. He will never sunbathe on my shoulder again or stick bugs in my hair or poke holes in my shirts again. I wish I hadn't thrown out those fucking shirts. I would give anything to be embarrassed walking into work because he left a sneak poop on my shoulder one more time. I can't understand why the universe has to be so cruel.
I didn't even get to say goodbye to him when he could still hear it.
Rest easy, my beloved boy. You were the best friend I could have ever asked for. Everyone always says you were so lucky I happened to be there the day you fell. But I was the one who was so fucking lucky. I was so lucky to know you. Thank you for everything. I swear I will never forget you.