You deserve love that is going to heal you instead of hurt you. The kind of love that makes you want to get up early in the morning to prepare them breakfast, or has you standing by the door waiting for them to walk in minutes before they do. The love that has you wanting to get dressed up for them just so they can show you off. A love where you can simultaneously dark and light and all of the in between. One where you feel safe enough to show your partner not just a solid color but all its shades in between. This, is the love that you deserve. 🍃
“You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart, someone who thinks about you constantly, someone who spends every minute of every day just wondering what you’re doing, where you are, who you’re with, and if you’re OK. You need someone who can help you reach your dreams and protect you from your fears. You need someone who will treat you with respect, love every part of you, especially your flaws. You should be with someone who could make you happy, really happy, dancing on air happy.”
We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It’s easy. the last girl I love is someone I haven’t even met yet. They all count. But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there’s still one more tier to all of this; there is always that one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of those lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really, want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about someone else.
If u haven't heard from me in awhile I'm ok..jus in the studio makin new shit #new #music #mylife #ideallove #entertainment #yk #goodmusic #bossup #studiosession
Welcome to the weird and wonderful world of Ryan and Annie, a pair of lovable and quirky twenty-somethings!
“What is the most resilient parasite? Bacteria? A virus? An intestinal worm?
An idea. Resilient... Highly contagious. Once an idea has taken hold of the brain, it's almost impossible to eradicate. An idea that is fully formed, fully understood, that sticks.”
Dominic Cobb, Inception (2010).
‘All right, how about this one?’ Ryan asked, hoping for a favourable response.
Annie takes a quick whiff of the fragrance. Her face scrunches up like she has just tasted a piece of lemon covered in stinging vinegar. Her face says it all.
‘It smells like stuff you kill flies and bugs with.’
‘Okay, duly noted. I’ll try another one.’
Ryan looks for another fragrance to dress his skin in, rifling through the top of his dresser filled with dusty study books, half-filled cans of deodorant and anti-perspirant, topped off with crinkled supermarket receipts. Annie’s eagle indigo eyes scan the room as she sits on Ryan’s unkempt bed. Giant movie posters adorn the walls to provide some culture to the room. His laptop is alive with faint music playing. The curtains are opened to reveal a quiet and reserved Friday night. Discarded shirts and socks litter the floor, almost becoming the carpet.
‘You’re so gonna need to clean up your room,’ Annie whispered to herself. ‘You’re surprisingly calm, Ryan.’
‘Why wouldn’t I be?’ he asked as he picks another fragrance.
‘Because you are you.’ Annie playfully stated.
‘Bitch, please,’ expressed a cocky Ryan as he sniffs another fragrance, ‘I’m all about growth and change.’
‘Yeah? Since when?’
‘Scumbag friend – Pretends to help you. Belittles you.’ expressed Ryan as he gives Annie another bottle of fragrance to smell. ‘What about this?’
She takes a quick whiff of the bottle. She looks at Ryan.
‘It’s… better.’
‘That’s good enough for me.’
Ryan proceeds to spray the candy-like scent with hints of cedarwood, olive tree blossom, musk, and amber onto his neck.
‘Remember two sprays max,’ reminded Annie. ‘A girl’s nose is a lot more sensitive than a guy's nose so you don’t need to spray that much fragrance. You don’t want her to suffocate and like, you know, die.’
‘That would be awkward.’
‘Yes, very,’ Annie concurred as she gestures the ‘awkward turtle’ with her hands. ‘So you really like this girl huh?’
‘I think she’s pretty cool,’ Ryan said as he heads over to his wardrobe to choose a nice shirt from a rather slim selection to wear over his black singlet. ‘She said yes so I’m happy with that.’
‘Oh my little boy is growing up so fast!’ expressed Annie.
‘Thanks, mum!’
‘Just don’t get infatuated with her like that last girl,’ cautioned Annie. ‘What was her name again?’
‘I wasn’t infatuated with her.’ defended Ryan as he selects a navy-coloured stripe shirt and starts buttoning it up.
Annie raises her eyebrow.
Yeah right. You so were.
‘Just don’t fall in love with an idea of her instead of the girl herself.’ Annie warned. ‘Nice shirt by the way.’
‘What do you mean an idea of her?’ he asked. ‘Thanks, it’s my fav.’
‘Well, most people have a developed idea in their mind of his or her perfect other half to live ‘happily ever after’ and blah, blah, blah. You meet this girl and think she may fit perfectly into this idea, even though she may not at all in reality. You project this image of your ideal love onto this girl and you start becoming in love with the idea you’ve projected onto the girl, rather than the girl herself.’
Ryan looks confused with his blank expression and vexed hazel eyes.
lolwut?
‘Okay, I’ll give you an example,’ Annie expressed, like a teacher about to school a student in the subject of love. ‘Boy meets girl. He thinks she’s pretty and fun, and somehow he develops this desirable idea that she’ll make a lovely wife and mother to his 2.5 kids, a kind of woman that would turn a house with white picket fences into a home, cook delicious meals for him, and be basically everything he wants in a girl according to his idea.’
’Yeah, and…?'
‘The boy becomes infatuated with the girl because of this idea, even though she has never said or done anything to express she wants a family, would be a good wife or even a wife at all! The idea has replaced reality. This idea isn’t grounded in reality. It’s a pure indulgent fantasy. It’s something Disney would be proud of.’
‘Damn those Disney movies for unrealistic romantic ideas!’ Ryan blasted.
‘Don’t get me started on unrealistic expectations on hair as well!’
‘I’ve never done that, have I?’ Ryan asked. ‘Being in love with an idea of a person?’
‘Like ‘LOL’, Ryan,’ taunted Annie sardonically. ‘But that’s okay. I think everyone is guilty of it once or twice in their lives. It’s almost as common as subtly screening a date with particular questions, hoping for answers that fit in line with things you find desirable in a potential partner.’
Ryan thinks back to that rather interesting date with Janice.
-
The restaurant buzzes with feverish activity. The fragrance of fine food intoxicates the diners. Ryan and Janice sit at their table enjoying their starter of bread and dip as a small tea candle slowly melts in the middle of the table. His eyes are locked on the darling Janice. ‘Cute’ would be the best way to describe her gleaming green eyes, her button nose, and innocent smile that would melt any boy’s heart.
‘It must be pretty interesting coming from a big family of four siblings,’ Ryan stated, ‘Especially when you’re the only sister. What was it like growing up with older brothers?’
SUBTEXT: I want to know whether or not you value your family as much as I do. How you see and treat your family may potentially affect how you treat my family and eventually OUR family.
‘It was pretty cool, actually,’ she said. ‘They were all protective of me, being the baby sister and all, but they respected enough to give me space and independence, you know. I love them to bits!’
She loves her brothers. That’s good.
PLUS ONE INTEREST POINT.
‘Do you still keep in touch with them?’
‘Yeah we all still keep in touch like over Facebook, Skype, and texts. But it is hard at times since everyone is so busy with their jobs and hobbies.’
‘Oh true, but that’s great you have such strong bonds with them,’ stated Ryan with a smile. ‘So what are some of your favourite hobbies?’ Ryan asked as he dips a piece of bread into some hummus.’
SUBTEXT: I want to know that you’re an interesting person with life outside of work and study because people who don’t do anything interesting bore me to tears. Plus it gives me a chance to eat this delicious piece of bread while you talk.
‘Hobbies? Well, I quite like going to the gym,’ she said enthusiastically as she brushes away wayward strands of her golden locks, ‘watching movies, listening to music, reading, and umm, knitting.’
‘That’s pretty cool.’ Ryan expressed.
She’s got a few hobbies. That’s good. She goes to the gym so I know she’ll be in ‘dat ass’ shape in the later years! This bread and hummus dip is so good!
PLUS ONE INTEREST POINT.
What about you, Ryan? What are some of your favourite hobbies?’
‘Oh, I love watching movies, hanging out with my friends, browsing on the internet, I love Internet memes!’ Ryan expressed. ‘Oh, and I love trying out new and different foods, especially from other cultures. I love Indian food. What kind of you foods do you like?’
SUBTEXT: I want to know you are cultured. I also want to know what other kinds of food you like so I can take you out to restaurants that serve such foods because I am a romantic and sexy beast.
‘I’m not really keen on ethnic food, or for ethnic people for that,’ Janice added with unflinching honesty. ‘They talk funny and smell.’
‘Uh huh,’ spoke Ryan, startled by her frank words, ‘That’s…um, interesting.’
MINUS A THOUSAND INTEREST POINTS.
-
‘It was a shame because she was so cute.’ said a reminiscing Ryan. ‘And she had such nice ‘personalities’.
‘Ugh. Don’t be sucked in by a person’s looks,’ Annie warned, ‘And more importantly, by your personal ideas and desirable traits you want in that one ‘great love’. Of course this can work in opposite ways. While I’ve been talking about being in love with an idea that ‘pulls’ a person closer to you in your mind, sometimes an idea of a person can ‘push’ a person away from your mind because you have per-conceived ideas of how and what that person is and these ideas normally couldn’t be further from the truth.’
‘In other words, judging someone before you know him or her?’
‘Pretty much.’
‘How would I know the difference between being in love with an idea and genuinely in love with a person?’
‘Being in love with an idea of a person is based on fiction and dreams of YOUR ideal person. Being genuinely in love with someone is based on reality, what is real, based on things she has told you about, things she has actually said and done,’ uttered a wise Annie. ‘There’s nothing wrong with dreaming of that perfect gal, Ryan. But when an idea start to cloud or replace reality, you’ve got a problem.’
‘And how can someone fix that?’
‘I suggest immediately taking a step back and observe reality. Ask yourself, “What do I really know about this girl?” Chances are, you actually know very little unless you’ve been in a relationship with her for a while,’ articulated Annie. ‘It maybe a bittersweet pill to swallow to realise you’ve been in love with an idea all this time but knowledge is liberating.’
Ryan is groomed and ready for his date tonight.
‘How do I look?’ asked Ryan, hoping for a thumb up.
‘Like a diamond in the rough.’ expressed Annie as she notices Ryan’s unkempt shirt collar. She stands up, walking up close to him, beyond each other’s personal space. She fixes Ryan’s shirt collar. With a friendship spanning over 17 years, they were comfortably with each other than most people in long-term romantic relationships.
’There, much better, Ryan.’
‘Cheers, Annie.’ said a smiling Ryan.
‘Just remember what I said, okay?’
‘Yeah, yeah, I know.’
‘You’re a really ni-
‘Don’t say it, Annie!’ Ryan bellowed. ‘You know I hate that word.’
‘… Good guy,’ spoke Annie, quickly changing the word that was about to be uttered, ‘And I don’t want to you to get hurt.’
‘You’re an awesome friend, Annie.’
‘You know it.’ said Annie with a flirtatious wink, ‘Now get out of here. You don’t want to keep a girl waiting!
