#identiteet

[hybriidmootor]

identiteedikriis

alguses olin filosoof teadsin, et ma midagi ei tea siis olin filoloog teadsin kõike, ei osanud midagi vahepeal olin luuletaja tundsin kõike, ei teadnud midagi siis olin ajakirjanik tegin kõike, ei tundnud midagi aeg-ajalt olin rändur nägin seda, mida tahtsin näha

ükskord olin mina ise päris õudne oli teist korda enam ei tahaks

[koikvaimne]

Identiteet

Ego or Intuition? How do I know whether it's my true self talking or my ego talking? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hpte6gGyVcc

ego is your identity. Your true part is the source energy expressing itself as you in this physical life. Ego is the part of you that needs to quantify who and what you are. Ego is your temporary self that your source self is practicing in your lifetime. Ego sees itself as separate, true self is a part of oneness. 

when a child is born, that child does not have an awareness of the self yet. what it does first is it learns what other is. then it starts to form a self-concept based on what his/her parents tell it about itself. That is the birth of the ego. Ego is the accumulated identity (your experience of yourself, other people´s opinions of you). Ego cares about one thing and that is survival. It cares about separating itself from what is other. Ego was born in order to understand oneness - you can only know oneness if you know separateness. There´s no need to make enemy out of ego as ego is just a perspective you have in this individual life. The problem comes when the tool is in control of you, not the other way around. Ego keeps us safe and alive, but it also stands in the way of spirituality. It feeds fear, anxiety, resentment, judgement, feeds all sort of attachments and resistance. 

Disidentification (The Practice of Non Attachment) - Teal Swan -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRfkTg8-I7I 

Identity is being one separate self, another word for this is ego. You can not have a sense of self without simultaneously having a sense of other. Separate self is needed for you to be able to experience its opposite - oneness. Whenever we identify with sth, we take it as a part of us (not separate from us, if not us in our entirety). 

If you identify with a thought - that thought becomes you. The same goes with another person, my anger (can be emotion), my child. All this becomes what you are, this is what attachment really is. Your ego is a giant kogum of all the things you identify with, all you are attached to. If any of the things we are identified with is threatened, that is when we have an extreme reaction. That´s because we perceive a threat to that thing or person as a threat to our survival. We don´t know the difference between that thing and ourself, we see it as personal attack.

One might say there´s nothing bad in identifying with anything that feels good. But the issue is that all the things hold within themselves seeds of its opposite. For instance, worthiness carries the seeds of unworthiness, excitement - disappointment. Far more troubling is that we often identify with things that cause us feel bad. This gives us a reason to keep that thing alive within us. We need it in order to maintain our sense of self. 

Great many spiritual teachers tell you it´s important to disidentify with external things, especially other people. But it is Teal´s opinion that these are not the things that cause us most suffering. What causes the most pain are the things we perceive as internal to us. We are the most identified with 3 primary aspects of ourselves - body, thoughts and emotions. Each of these are an expression of source consciousness but we mistake these expressions for who we are. a bit like a painter that is so identified with his painting that he has forgotten he´s more than he´s painting. we think we are our body, our thoughts and our emotions - we are so attached that they cause us to suffer. suffering is the reason that disidentification is one of the highest spiritual practices that you can take on. to disidentify, you simple need to start to see sth as other than you. you can disidentify with pretty much anything. you can disidentify with your pain for example. If you feel pain, you can look at that as a separate entity reacting. that way you don´t take pain personally because you have disowned it. But most important thing you can do is disidentify with your thoughts, emotions and body. You will notice that your attachment to external things - people, places etc will follow simply on their own as a result of doing this because the other things are filtered through our primary attachments or identification. The hardest part about spiritual practice are the complementary contradistions that inherently exist in the multidimentional universe. truth is not same on different dimentional levels. sometimes they contradict but each is true in their own right. at the highest truth all is one. so any form of disidentification is enhancement of self and otherness in this universe. when nothing is other than you, not your emotions, body, mind, other people, kitchen table, your dog. but you see much less truth this experience first disidentify with the very things that keep you locked in your own identity. The false self is like compass of the things you are identified with. Like onion you peel off the rings to discover what you really are. we do not engage in this process of disidentification with the attitude of resistance. look at the things you are attached to more like rose petals that fall away when opened to the light. an attempt to push away the things you are identified with only makes you more identified (ego). it only makes you feel rejected by yourself. you only cause an intense survival reaction within yourself.

the way to disidentify is to recognize all the things you are attached to. for this reason I want you to take a blank page of paper and I want you to write down all the things you think you might be attached to. take into account that the real list extends far beyond the one you are about to create but this is a consciousness exercise. a good way to find things that you are identified with is to look at all the things you see as “mine”.

“my..” (friends etc), 

“I am..” (sexy etc),

also try to find thoughts and ideas that you are attached to (money doesn´t grow on trees),

try to find the emotions you are identified with, you are identified with emotions that are chronic. they might even set the atmosphere of the totality of your life (disappointment might be one of them). we can even become identified with pain itself. this is a very painful state as the ego will seek pain out to reinforce its own identity. but there´s an interesting flip side. the people who identify with pain often end up in so much pain they disidentify with themselves completely, this is a form of emotional suicide. this is what´s happening in a spontaneous awakening experience. 

find the parts of your body that you are identified with (I see myself as fat) 

remember that anything you are identified with causes a strong reaction within you as you have taken it as yourself. whenever those things are threatened, your ego will go to the state of defence. ego sees the loss of these things as annihilation. all this said, the real practice begins when we are aware of what we are identified with, the things that cause a reaction within us. the easiest way to do this is in response to emothions. you can use strong emotions like an alarm bell or meditation bell that alarm you that your undivided presence is required in this moment. there is sth you need to become aware of. by recognizing, becoming aware you are in this moment as your eternal self observing the temperal self instead of merely being mersed in your temporal self´s perspective. instead of being under water, you are above water looking at water. when a strong emotion arises, look at it instead of reacting or pushing it away. remind yourself that this is emotional body that gets activated like electric fence. it is not the emotion that makes you feel pain, it´s the identification you have with that pain. this is all it takes to disidentify with something. don´t try to change how you feel, just recognize and let it be there. a fun note about this is that if you use those triggers and become in that moment intensely present you have opened yourself up to insight and intuition. for example you might notice what triggered you and why it triggered you. you might receive insight that helps you to dissipate that charged reaction. 

don´t worry about disidentification creating suppression or repression. disidentification is in fact opposite of supression. this is in fact the moment when free will is introduced to the experience. it is better to think of it this way - in the moment that you are completely aware of the emotional reaction or with the thought you are thinking what happens in that moment is that you are introducing the pure light of consciousness to those shadows so it´s almost like the light of your consciousness dissipates or burns them up like a films strip being exposed to flame. by observing a thought and letting it be there you are not actually adding any fuel to it because you have stepped out of your participation inside of that thought. this stops the thought attracting other like thoughts. this stops the negative spiral. when it comes to your body, if you think you are your body any time your body changes you literally lose your identity. we can look at our body as an experience we currently have instead of who we are. this is the whole idea behind being a spiritual person having a human experience. you are not your ego, you are not your separate self. the moment you become aware of ego you are in this moment disidentified with ego. what you can acutely see is what you are not. then the filter separating you from what you are is removed. then you are aware of what you are, this is a state of peace, a state of unwavering grace. 

Own People! (How To Take Ownership of Your Relationships) 

Ownership is associated with possession. Possession had a light and dark side. The dark side of possession is not actually inherent to the actual concept of ownership of possession, that is an additive that is created by the limitation of human consciousness. To own sth means that sth belongs to you. That is actually the positive side of the possession. It is an inclusion based concept. To love sth is to take it as a part of yourself. It means it automatically belongs with and to you.

Where possession goes dark is that once you have sth, you have complete and total control over it. What if I told you this has nothing to do with possession in and of itself. It´s that mankind´s limited consciousness equates sth belonging to you mean you can automatically control it. Unawaken men simply decided that in the mercy of their own fears and impulse towards power decided that owning means control. But this is in fact the opposite of true ownership. 

If you have negative associations with ownership, it is because you have experienced the shadow aspect of ownership. This means you weren´t actually owned. Someone treated you as an object in their reality. You were not a part of them and so you were powerless, your best interests were never cared for. You have never experienced true ownership. 

To truly own sth is to see that thing as a part of yourself. You can not hurt it without hurting yourself. You can not surpet(?) it´s free will without hurting yourself. So the well-being of that thing is of the utmost concern with the genuine ownership. When we don´t own people, we feel no responsibility to them. We take ourselves as totally separate from one another. We are more at risk of playing zero sum game as we are looking for us to win and them to lose. We become self centered. Our relationships become transactional. We are not in relationship for connection itself as for the connection we need to feel, see and hear the other person. 

To explain this dynamic further I´m gonna highlight an aspect about our society while throwing out the concept of ownership has done extreme amounts of damage to relationship between two people - men and women. For thousands of years women were seen as property, just like a man owning land and as such a man had ownership over women. But most men didn´t take women as a part of themselves. They didn´t consider the best interest of their wives or daughters or even suns for that matter. They just took possession over however they want. They were totally in a form of shadow possession. When the feminist movement came through and demolished the idea that a woman is a property of a man, men were forced to relincuish the possession of women. By doing this, they didn´t just relincuish the shadow side of possession, they also relincuished light side of ownership. Relationships between men and women have suffered immensely. 

Women really enjoy the sense of containment and the sense of protection that comes from the ownership by divine masculine. No, they didn´t like being controlled but they enjoyed being owned. What are the main complaints in the couples therapy today? It´s that men take no responsibility for them or their children whatsoever. Many women feel men don´t take direct responsibility for their well-being, the man is hands off. For a woman it feels like being in a relationship alone, the man is another child or like she´s being exploited by him. He only participates to the degree that he is either nagged to do it or if he can get sth from her like sex. 

If you want to understand the energy of true ownership, I suggest you to watch a movie titled Rob Roy where the main character Rob Roy betrays the masculine ownership and where the villan in the movie betrays the exact opposite - non-ownership. Watch this movie with others specifically in mind but keep in mind that in this time period people did not understand the idea of ownership of all things, including their enemies as a part of themselves. this is a graduated consciousness understanding.

kuni 5.20

Belonging and How to Belong - Teal Swan https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AIZK0QSk8w

Instant Belonging - Teal Swan - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iofHNbc5xSk

[vabalavakuraatoriprogramm-blog]

Märksõnadeks identiteet ja tehnoloogia, filosoofia, iidsed lood ja suuline pärimus, hirmud, eelarvamused, vastandlike väärtuse ühildamine ja lepitamine, identiteedikriis, digitaalne kultuur, argielu uurimused, mehelik kuvand, must huumor.

Vaba Lava 2016/2017 hooaja kuraatoriprogramm “In | Out” lavastustest