#idhyukjae

[idxking-blog]

Search and Rescue

For: @idhyukjae​ Word Count: 600 Plot: Yeongshik and Hyukjae have an unlikely first meeting rescuing a dog.

Dark clouds coated the early morning sky in Seoul, carrying heavy moisture with the undeniable promise of rain that would be coming later this afternoon. Yeongshik checked his cellphone for the time and verified his prediction. It was four in the morning. The sun had yet to rise and by the looks of the dark clouds, it wouldn’t be seen for the rest of the day. The fisherman drew in a deep breath through his nose as he stepped outside of the KJH dorm building and gave a more thorough examination of the clouds. He estimated he might have an hour before it would rain. It should be enough time to get him through his usual run routine, though a light shower wouldn’t be such a bad thing on such a hot and humid morning run.

The guitarist reached his arm behind him and pulled at the back of his foot to stretch his leg muscles. His free hand thumbed through his cellphone and pulled up his workout playlist. The energizing blast of an electric guitar rang in his ears and immediately set fire to the blood in his veins. He swung his arms in a brief impatient stretch and then threw one foot in front of the other in a slow gait that gradually grew into a run.

His steps fell in time with the music as he maneuvered his way down the familiar streets of his neighbourhood. The streets were bare save for the late-night workers returning to their homes, or the early birds on their way to work. His body twisted around the corner to turn onto the next block. Just as he rounded a corner, a dark shape bolted out from under his feet. The young man felt a lurching sensation in his stomach as he nearly lost his footing, but in a brief moment of luck he managed to regain it and grabbed onto a light post to steady himself.

With his balance restored he ripped his earbuds from his ears and whipped his head in the direction in which the dark shape had gone. He spotted a small dog, a toy poodle to be exact, curiously sniffing at a storefront sign. After a moment it rose its hind leg and relieved itself before continuing down the street.

Worry shook the guitarist and he frantically looked around for any sign of an owner.

“Hello?” He shouted into the empty street. The dog’s ears perked up and it scampered across the road and down the other side of the street.  “There’z’uh dog out here!” He shouted again, but there was no one around to hear him. Yeongshik’s fists clenched in frustration and he quickly bolted across the street to pursue the stray.

There was no use in trying to call the dog to him as he had already spooked it with his voice. Instead he slowed his pace to a walk and crouched down as he approached. He clicked his tongue to get the dog’s attention but the dog showed no interest.

Thunder rolled overhead and Yeongshik could immediately feel and smell the cold front as it rolled into the city. It was going to rain any moment, and the morning traffic was beginning to pick up. Yeongshik groaned impatiently and tried to crawl closer to the dog. Just when he was certain he would be able to reach the dog, it shot out of his grasp and bolted across the road.

“Watch out!” his voice boomed across the seemingly empty street. An oncoming car narrowly missed the creature as it bolted across the two-lane road.

[idaroon]

bad days.

with @idhyukjae​ at titanium dorm, late night.

aroon is overworked to the bone. tiredness seems to be the only mental and physical state he knows now, so close to his solo debut. it’s a big responsibility, their manager always tells him, to be the first titanium member to release a solo song. first show me the money, a song with san, and now this. aroon is given chance after chance and he can’t fail, he knows this, he is reminded of it every time he checks twitter and sees the fan vitrol on whether or not he deserves this, all of this.

so aroon works himself until he is too tired to do anything else, until he starts mixing korean and thai and the manager sends him home because it’s clear he won’t be able to work anymore. home these days means anything but their dorm. he goes to minsoo’s, calls seokyung, even thought about texting chanyeol once or twice, fingers hovering over the keyboard as he stared at the other rapper’s name, but aroon isn’t ready to go that low. not yet.

he knows hyukjae’s schedules better than anyone, it’s easy to avoid him. if before they worked like a well oiled machine, making a routine of titanium obligations and their solo activities now it’s the opposite, aroon knows they both go out of their way to avoid each other as much as they can and it works, of course it does. it’s not that difficult when aroon is never home, when he finds other places to sleep, other people to sleep with. he wonders if this is his new routine for the near future, how long it will take for midas to let them move out of the dorm.

tonight is different, tonight aroon is too tired to not go back home. he doesn’t want to give explanations or talk to anyone, there is nothing he wants more than to go back to his own bed, to the silence of his dorm room. he never knows where the hyungs are, if they are there or not, but he sees the closed doors and thinks it’s better to stay quiet and not ruin their sleep. god knows aroon has bothered they enough for a lifetime.

he likes the familiarity of the titanium dorm, likes that he doesn’t need to turn the lights on to walk around. aroon knows his way around it and in the pitch black of the night he makes his way to the bathroom, takes a shower, does his skincare routine, stares at himself in the mirror and notices the dark circles under his eyes, the way he looks tired. that’s what overworking yourself does to your body, aroon thinks, even if he knows that is not the only reason for his deplorable state.

when he enters their bedroom he sees hyukjae sleeping, feels a node in his throat. still, exhaustion wins and aroon tiptoes around the room, puts his pajamas on and slides under the covers of his bed as silent as he can. tonight he is too tired to stay awake thinking about them and aroon falls asleep as soon as his head touches the pillow.

he hears his name in the darkness of the room, wakes up startled. it’s something he is used to, being awake in the middle of the night, but it never gets easier. hyukjae would take him from his bed at ungodly hours to feed cats and aroon, stupid as he is, would always follow him outside no matter the weather and help him with it.

now, however, he knows hyukjae is not waking him up for that. so aroon looks around, focus on the figure by his bed. “what?” he asks, not angry, but confused, sleep making him feel slow, dizzy. “are you okay? are you feeling ill? do you need anything?” aroon rubs his fingers over his eyes, tries to wake up. at this point he is not sure he isn’t dreaming, but if he isn’t and hyukjae needs him then aroon will do whatever he wants. it has always been like this between them anyway, nothing can change that.

[idaroon]

folie à deux.

with @idhyukjae in front of 1nferno’s dorm, early july and late night.

“you should be sleeping.” is the first thing aroon tells hyukjae when he sees him. it’s so late, past 2am, but something in him knew he would find hyukjae outside, sitting on the sidewalk. they have been in this exact setting way too many times for him not to predict that hyuk wouldn’t be here. he knows hyukjae better than anyone else, after all.

aroon feels so tired these days, stretched thin. solo debut preparations mean way more things than he anticipated and it’s not when the other members are not with him, especially hyukjae. they’ve always shared this feeling of not wanting to stay away for too long.

( aroon remembers the last time he went home, the previous year, to solve his enlistment situation, and they hugged for so long, making everyone else uncomfortable. “you’re not going to war, stop that.” his manager had said, annoyed. )

now this feeling is amplified, a thousand times stronger. aroon wants to stay by hyukjae’s side all day long, wants to hold his hand and lean his head on his shoulder, laugh at whatever thing hyukjae is saying. he knows hyukjae feels the same, of course he does. what did he say? only you understand me. only we understand each other entirely.

he sits besides hyukjae, puts the bags he was holding down, pulls his mask down. there is no need for secrecy this late and people know they live here, a fact that makes aroon uncomfortable. now he feels watched although they are alone on the street, only the yellow light of the lamp post and the cat hyukjae is feeding as their company.

aroon wants to remind him that he shouldn’t do it, they’ve been warned time and time again, taewoo is one step closer to a collapse because of how many times they were scolded, but aroon doesn’t. it’s useless with hyukjae. bae hyukjae is sweet and caring person, a model idol, but he would never leave an animal starving and aroon doesn’t want to change him. he loves hyukjae this way, bringing them trouble and everything.

“brought you something,” he says, opening a bag and showing hyukjae a bag of chips, his favorite to eat while watching anime. he bought something for the others too, and for himself he bought a pack of green tea pocky that he opens right away, eating two before he even offers it to hyuk. there is a joke to be made about the peppero game here, but aroon doesn’t say anything. they don’t need stupid fanservice to kiss anyway.

“and i brought this,” he taps the other bag, cat food inside it, “for them.” aroon gestures for the cat with his half eaten peppero. it’s only one tonight, but he knows there are others in the neighborhood, they sometimes show up at the door, waiting for hyuk to come feed them. it’s a warm night and aroon enjoys the night air after spending the last eight or so hours locked inside a studio. “i have a surprise for you too, but i can only show it inside, no one can see it. for now.” he tips his bucket hat up a little to look at hyukjae, smiling. “so hurry up, i want to kiss you.”

[idaroon]

noise.

chile, late night at their hotel room with @idhyukjae

aroon was raised to be calculating, to be cunning. the only child of two overachieving parents, many expectations were placed on his back from the time he was brought into this world. failure was never an option no matter what he did and his flaws had to be minimum, he wasn’t born, he was designed to be the perfect son and nothing could get in the way.

so he knows this behavior would make his parents shake their heads, would make them ask him why he is acting like this, if he thinks the perfect son would do this. of course not, aroon knows. had he been the perfect child his parents envisioned he would grow to inherit his father’s marketing company, he would marry some scholar like his mother, he would never move away from home to chase a dream that seemed impossible to acchieve. 

and although his parents adjusted their expectations to his impulsive behavior, although they understood his desired to be an artist and supported him through his trainee years, now gloat to their friends about their famous son, show his songs to everyone who will listen to them, even if they didn’t think his homosexuality was a flaw, even if they don’t mind that aroon prefers pretty boys over pretty girls, this they wouldn’t accept, because this is acting like a fool and it’s not how aroon was raised.

this is pathetic, the complete opposite of how his parents wanted him to be.

but lately there is a flaw in the code, a bug that makes aroon feel less than perfect, that makes him want to scratch an itch that he can’t reach. he should be happy by all means, his solo song was approved by midas, it’s just a matter of time before he debuts. but it’s not the same, not without hyukjae. aroon hates it because this is not how planned his life to be, to measure his happiness by the presence of one person, to make everything revolve around him.

that was a miscalculation on his part, a wrong move that put him in check, now aroon has to do is wait for the mate. so he drinks, drinks with remi as they talk about love and other things, drink with minsoo when they kiss, so soft it makes his heart hurt because he knows how minsoo feels, he knows, he drinks with jinhwan as they try to make peace, he drinks and drinks, wonders if this is how milo feels all the time, if this is why he always wants to be intoxicated.

he has the mind to make to their room, spends long minutes trying to open the door and when he does aroon throws himself on a bed. he is not sure if it’s his or hyukjae’s, it doesn’t matter. the room spins and he, as he always gets when drunk, wants to cry. aroon hides his face on the pillow, closes his eyes and refuses to do it, but he is too drunk to control himself, too tired, and the tears come out before he can do anything.

it’s not ugly sobbing, but it’s close to it. when the door opens and aroon looks at hyukjae he doesn’t bother to try to hide, he is too drunk for it. he only stares at his friend and cries, the image of a defeated man. “hyukjae,” he says in between tears. “you’re here.” he says, is sure he isn’t speaking right because korean is failing him now, but it’s okay, hyukjae can understand him no matter what language he speaks. because they are best friends and that’s what best friends do, right?

[idaroon]

adagio.

music. slowly with great expression. see also: aroon and @idhyukjae doing a vlive together.

the thing about having a soulmate is that you know them better than you know yourself. you know them in ways you will never know anyone else, and you know when something is wrong, know every corner of their soul. so when aroon enters the room he knows things are still different. it’s as if they are in a different reality, one in which him and hyukjae are not as in synch as they usually are. there is a failure in the matrix, it’s what he would tell hyuk and he would chuckle, but aroon doesn’t say it and there are no laughs or smiles as they look at each other.

there is a feeling in his chest that makes him feel heavy, makes it difficult to breathe, but aroon refuses to be prisioner of it. it’s not fair when hyukjae gets to walk free from it, happy and smiley as they act like there’s nothing wrong. but this, the tension he feels when they are close, is far worse than anything he’s felt close to hyuk before. aroon is used to how being in love makes him feel, he is used to wishing hyukjae would look at him with more than friendship, he is used to the pain he feels every time hyukjae uses the words friends right after they kiss, but they are always still them. aroon and hyukjae, together as they have always been.

this, however, is different. they never argued, not really. they get on each other’s nerves but that’s what happens when you live with someone else, petty arguments are the foundation of a domestic life. this is beyond rolling their eyes because the other didn’t wash the dishes or left a wet towel over the bed, this is personal on a level they never reached before.

hyukjae has always been a supportive friend, first and foremost. work, life, name it and hyukjae had his back against everything, never cared that aroon wanted to talk about his relationships, always listened to him about it. now here he is, bringing up morals and this and that when it’s not serious, not for aroon. he doesn’t think he will ever know what is like to be with someone on a real, serious relationship, all thanks to hyukjae. it’s not fair and he wants to tell hyukjae this, but of course he doesn’t, it’s better to fight than to never talk to each other again or worse, the awkwardness of trying to be friends knowing that one of the parts feels more than platonic love.

staff pass by them fixing lightening and the phones, giving them pointers of what to say and what to avoid. they’ve been in this for long enough to know, but there are new things to consider about their next comeback and midas wants it to have a lot of attention, so aroon listens to it carefully, remembers everything he is supposed to say and how to act. 

there’s still ten minutes to broadcast time when aroon sits besides hyukjae, hands carefully placed over the table, fingers laced together so he doesn’t fall for the temptation of touching hyuk, fixing his hair, pinching his cheek, the things they always do. “are you still mad at me?” he asks. it’s not fair, aroon wants to tell him. he’s single, he can do whatever and whoever he wants. and so what it happens to be a guy he dislikes? that’s how things are sometimes, at least for aroon. “or are you still bitching over nothing?” he can’t avoid the confrontation, fighting hyukjae is better than nothing.

[idaroon]

@aroon_tt – AROON                                                  - 10min ago

สุขสันต์วันวาเลนไทน์ค่ะ 행복한 발렌타인 데이 happy valentine’s day!  🙏 @baehyuk_1994 #SMTM #comingsoon

♥                           💬 37.6k likes           789 comments

@titaniumsource: happy valentine’s day kings ♥♥♥ @linlin99: วาเลนไทน์มีแค่วันเดียว แต่รักเธอคนเดียวมีทุกวัน 😍 💖 @onewingedtitan: 오빠 행복한 발렌타인 데이 ^_^ 내가 너의 발렌타인이 될 수 있을까?

[idaroon]

aesthetic prompt: make an edit representing an important relationship in their life. ( featuring @idhyukjae​ )

at first aroon didn’t think much of hyukjae. he was a shy kid, introducing himself to aroon in english when they met. soon he was glued to aroon’s side, a shadow following him around wherever aroon went, needy for attention and companionship and aroon, the selfish being he always was, liked the praise and the attention hyukjae gave him. becoming friends was not a matter of choice, but an encounter of two people who needed similar things and who found in each other what they needed.

aroon never expected that hyukjae with his beautiful voice and sweet personality would become such an important part of his life. it wasn’t in his plans to love the boy so much, to need him in ways aroon couldn’t quite comprehend – and he still doesn’t, not fully. hyukjae came in and took over his heart not in a sudden way, but bit by bit, with his smiles and gentleness and touches.

falling in love with hyukjae seemed like the logical next step. it’s a gradual change in the way aroon looks at him, a shift in how he notices every detail about hyukjae, the way he fidgets when he is nervous, how hoarse his voice sounds in the morning when they have to wake up too early for a schedule.

it’s not something aroon planned, but it’s something he welcomed with open arms, the way his love for hyukjae changed, became stronger and in a way better. aroon never believed in the idea that loving someone should make you nervous and your heart beat faster and with hyukjae that never happens. he feels calm and content every time they are together, like two pieces of a puzzle that fit perfectly.

every time aroon kisses hyukjae he feels their love growing stronger, sinking roots in his heart that seem impossible to cut. it’s bittersweet, the way hyukjae kisses him, but never fully commits and it leaves aroon wondering how can one person have so much power over him, how could he, always so sure of himself, so proud, be rendered speechless with such simple touches. 

the way he feels with hyukjae is perhaps what aroon has been looking for his entire life, to belong somewhere and with someone, to be accepted and loved. his love for hyukjae is a grip around his heart, twisting and tugging at it in the best ways, making his chest ache in the best and worst ways, but aroon wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. it’s how it feels to have a soulmate, after all.