Idols - Chapter Twelve - End
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 *Chapter 12 - End*
Genre: Fluff/Angst
Synopsis: When you moved to Korea to finish your Oxford language and translations degree in Korean. You never expected you’d become best friends with one of the biggest boy groups of the K Pop industry. Let alone dating a member of another. Life was perfect for you. But it soon came crashing down like a tone of bricks.
Word Count: 2140
A/N: I’m so sorry for taking so long writing this!!! I’ve been too scared to finish it!!! I might write an epologue if anyone wants it but idk!! Let me know!!
29/08/17 - Idols - Fin~
The next morning you woke to knocking at your door and a voice telling you that Daegi had made breakfast. Pulling yourself out of bed, you made your way to the kitchen where all of the other boys were gathered around the table. When Daegi placed the food on the table, you all started to pile it onto your plates with watering mouths and tongues swiping across your bottom lips.
When you began to dig in, you looked around the table at the other member's faces. You could tell that Minhyeon was more than a little bit hung over by the way his eyes were still bloodshot and his shoulders were hunched.
Yujin’s entire face was swollen as it often was when he had just woken up, informing you he had been dragged here seconds after he woke up. The other members looked how they usually looked beside Jae-Hwa who looked exhausted. His eyes were swollen as if he had been crying all night, his hair looked as sweaty as it looked post nightmare, and his posture showed everything about being distressed. But you tried to ignore it all.
“What’s the plan for today?” Chee asked you, shoving a mixture of food into his mouth.
“I’m going to meet up with Yoongi later before he goes away for promotions.” You explained after swallowing a mouthful of warm food.
“When do you want us gone.” He asked.
“No idea yet.” You pushed more food into your mouth and the conversation ended there.
A half-comfortable silence fell over the table until you and Daegi caught each other’s eyes. His head jolted towards Jae-Hwa quickly and you knew exactly what he was trying to say. Your suspicions were right.
The meal came to a quiet end and you told the members they could take showers if they wished while you helped Daegi clean up. His eyes told you that he wanted to talk to you in private and you weren’t in the position to say no. His eyes told you that he was worried and that he had a lot to both ask and tell. And still, you weren’t in the position to not give him answers this time.
The tension began to rise as soon as the other members left the room and the two of you were alone. You began washing and drying in silence until Daegi spoke up two minutes later, “Jae-Hwa has been having nightmares since you and Minhyeon had your talk.” Your heart sank into your stomach. You knew the news would affect him, but you didn’t think it would do so this much. And the tone of Daegi’s voice made something deep in you snap. He almost seemed angry. You didn’t say anything because there were too many guilty thoughts going through your mind for you to sort out. None of which were you ready to voice. “I wasn’t going to tell you,” Daegi broke the silence after realising you weren’t going to, “but last night was the worst of it. He woke me up chanting "don’t go" over and over again until I shook him awake. Even when he woke up he was sobbing. What did you say to him?” His voice showed that he was genuinely worried. He didn’t care about any past drama, he put Jae-Hwa first for once because this time you hurt him.
You shook your head. You couldn’t tell him, not yet at least. Tears began to prick at your eyes and you had decided you were through with crying. “I can’t tell you, Gi.” Dropping your head, you wiped your eyes and started to quicken your pace at drying the dishes.
“Why not?” He yelled, throwing the cloth he was using into the sink and turning to you, “We’re friends, right? Why can’t you tell me?” You jumped back at his harsh tone and looked into his eyes to see them filling with tears. This is it. You thought. It took a lot to work Daegi up for him to explode and you had done it.
“I just… I can’t. Not yet.” You shook your head and looked anywhere apart from his now water filled eyes.
“Y/n,” He placed both hands on your shoulders and stared into your eyes as you still tried to avoid his, “what happened?” A tear fell from his left eye and before you could even think of responding you were saved by a buzzing in your pocket.
Quickly wiping your eyes and nose, you answered the call and ran away from Daegi as quick as possible as Yoongi’s voice filled your ears.
An hour passed before Yoongi arrived at your door. The boys had left half an hour ago, Daegi merely giving you a sad look as he walked out of the door not saying a word.
Pulling Yoongi into a hug as he walked through the door, you smiled and tried to forget what had happened this morning. You wanted to enjoy the day with your boyfriend without any other boys invading your thoughts.
“How was last night?” Yoongi knocked down your plans of not thinking about other boys with the first sentence he had said to you since he entered your place.
“Good! Like the old times!” You covered up the drama with a little white lie and sat next to Yoongi on the couch, “How is preparing for the comeback?” You successfully diverted the attention from you to him.
“Exhausting,” his shoulders sank and you could see from his eyes how hard he had been working, “but exciting. I miss being on the stage.” He admitted with a sincere smile.
Most of the preparations were complete now. All of the teaser photos had been released and the fans were ready to explode by the look of your twitter feed. All that had to be released was the music video, then promotions could really start. A mixture of feelings went through you at how close the comeback was, and how awful the timing was. On one hand, you were excited to see your boys back on the stage and doing what they did best, but on the other, your time with all of them was being stolen from what seemed like a long time. This one was a long album and you heard that they were promoting it for a long time due to the global success they had been receiving.
“What was the song you were working on yesterday?” You asked, confused as to why he was working on a song when the album had already been completed.
“Just something” He muttered.
After thinking for a while you decided to let it slide and instead you asked what the plan for today was and he admitted he hadn’t thought of anything to do. “How about we go out for dinner later? It might be the last time we can go out before comeback.” He offered, and you nodded with a smile.
For the rest of the morning, you sat around and laughed with each other as if nothing in the world was wrong. Both of you were susceptible to feeling like crap and had been through an awful lot, but somehow when the two of you were together you felt like everything was okay. Two negatives make a positive right?
“What are you going to wear out tonight, babe?” Yoongi asked with a hand resting on your thigh casually.
“No idea,” you answered having not thought that far ahead, “it depends on where we are going I guess.”
Yoongi seemed to think for a while, and you admired the look on his face as he did so, and even pinpointed the moment he had an idea. When he told you his plan, glee filled you to the brim. There was a new restaurant opening up not far away from where you lived that you had wanted to try since it was announced, but you had never had the chance to go. You smiled and nodded at his suggestion and he told you to start getting ready because of how long it took you to get ready.
Running to your bedroom, you pulled out your nicest dress and started to get changed. This dress, in particular, was one you had never worn before. It was floor length with material flowing from the bottom of your ribcage to the floor. The arms were completely lace and finished three-quarters of the way down your arms. You spent another on your makeup and hair, making sure everything was perfect and not overdoing it. It all had to be the way you wanted it to for this date.
Unlike most girls in the movies though, having a great reveal when they step out of the bedroom shimmering and radiating elegance and beauty, you were rushing around the house trying to find what you needed, meaning Yoongi didn’t only see the finished product, but probably every other stage in between. He watched with a love sick grin plastered on his face and thought about how much he wished to see you like this every single day. In fact, you were in such a rush that you didn’t notice him slip out of the door and return nearly 20 minutes later.
You had just about finished and now looked like how you had wished for him to see you when you stepped out of the bedroom door and whispered, “Where are those damn shoes?” to yourself. Yoongi chuckled lightly and stood up from his place on the couch with white roses and a pair of silver heels that were almost too much of a perfect match to the rest of your attire.
“How about these?” He asked with a stupid smile.
“How did… When?” You asked with your jaw on the floor.
“While you were doing your hair.” He laughed and walked over to you. With a wide grin on your face, you graciously took the flowers from his outstretched hands and started to lift your foot, expecting for him to put the shoes on you like a prince and princess, but instead, he took your waist, bent down, and threw you over his shoulder. “You can put them on in the car, we’re going to be late.”
Giggling, you let him carry you barefooted to the car and did as he said when you were placed into the passenger seat.
The drive to the restaurant was quiet and peaceful. Yoongi focused on driving while you daydreamed out of the window about the future. Although there were several thousand reasons it wouldn’t happen, you wanted to be this way with Yoongi until you died.
No time at all passed before you pulled up outside the restaurant, entered, and were seated in the middle of the whole place. Thanks to the prior arrangements and the high security, there were no cameras and no one that seemed to be interested in either you or Yoongi. A feeling of hope flushed through you after looking around, and you had the feeling this was going to be one of the best dates of your life.
“Can we get you some drinks?” A young looking woman approached your table with a little notebook and asked the two of you.
Yoongi turned to you and informed you that he wasn’t going to have a drink so he could drive the two of you, but that you were more than welcome to have whatever you wished. And so, after ordering one non-alcoholic drink and another red wine, the woman left the two of you alone.
Smalltalk started quickly and you informed Yoongi of most of what had happened while you were with the other group, but left out everything about Jae-Hwa and his nightmares. You told him who fell asleep first, who drank the most, who ate the most, who wouldn’t stop interrupting the movie with unwanted commentary, everything besides how Jae-Hwa did anything to go unnoticed but ended up sticking out the most. In the middle of telling your drunken Minhyeon story, your drinks came and you ordered your food. The waitress could not have come in better time for you were just getting up to the part where he started to pick a fight with Jae.
“How are the rest of the boys coping with the busy schedules?” You asked, taking a sip of your wine.
“They’re all exhausted. Jimin isn’t really eating enough, but we’re pushing him to every chance we get so he’s okay. We all just want it to be perfect you know?” He continued to talk about the other BTS members. Adding detail to how they all struggle with promotions and the build up in their own ways. About the dance line putting in all of the extra hours, vocal line refusing to talk for a whole day at times to preserve their voices, rap line staying up late at night doing certain exercises to warm up their mouths, and everyone staying away from anything that is potentially dangerous.
You listened with many mixed emotions running through you. You were glad they took so much pride in their work but also wished they didn’t overwork themselves as you knew they did. You often voiced this opinion, as did the fans, but they also told you that they would make no money if they didn’t go to the extremes that they did, so you had no choice but to accept what they were doing and just tell them to keep an eye on their health.
It was half way through your meal that Yoongi stopped speaking so freely and started to hesitate before every word. You tried not to notice at first until he stopped eating, clasped his hands together on top of the table and looked at you. “Babe,” he started, and you too knew that it was best you stopped eating for a moment too.
“What’s up?” You asked, forcing a casual tone into your voice.
“Actually, I have something to confess.” He lowered his eyes and you could tell he was trying to find a nice way to put what he was about to tell you. You also knew it wasn’t going to be an easy thing to hear which made your heart drop to your toes.
“Just say it, Yoongi.” You whispered, taking his hands into yours across the table and smiling uncertainly.
“Promotions are going to last 2-3 months.” He spoke sharply.
The whole restaurant went cold. The food turned to dirt. Your dress turned to rags. A giant wall of bars dropped between you and Yoongi. Everything turned to nothing.
“Oh.” Was the only syllable you could choke out before you started to pick at the dirt on your plate and refused to look at the man sat in front of you. If you did look, you knew the acidic tears burning your eyes would fall down to burn your cheeks too.
“Are you okay?” Yoongi asked, and instead of the melodic, comforting voice you usually heard from his mouth, you heard the sound of fire and sandpaper.
“Fine.” You answered, speeding up your eating, knowing you had to escape as fast as you could.
“It’s not that long, baby.” He started, shocked at how you reacted and wanting to patch up the hole in your heart as quickly as possible, “I’ll text you every day if I can, and we’ll see each other when I get back I promise. We’ll have ages together when I return. We can move in together, go public if we want to. Anything.” After your silence followed and he noticed the shaking of your body, he stopped talking. “What’s wrong?”
“None of that can happen, Yoongi.” You whispered.
“Why not? We both knew I would be away for a while. They only extended it by two months because of the international attention we’ve been getting. We don’t have to break up because of promotions. You and Jae-Hwa did fine so so can we!” He started to beg and you continued to look at the plate of food in front of you.
“I’m leaving in less than two months.” You stated.
“What?” He stopped talking and looked straight at you. His heart stopped beating for a moment while your words repeated in his head.
The truth had to come out eventually, you had just tried to delay it for as long as possible. Your time in Korea had almost come to an end meaning it was almost time for you to go back to your studies in England. It had been the best year of your life in Korea, so much so that you had almost forgotten that you were only here for a year as part of your Oxford course studies. This had become your life so all of your life in England had erased itself from your memory. In the beginning, you had made it known why you were here, but over time everyone you knew had forgotten that you were a foreigner here for a university programme. Telling Minhyeon and Jae-Hwa had a big enough effect. Jae-Hwa had begged you to stay through millions of falling tears and it later came to your attention that this very news had caused nightmares and bad thoughts to haunt him wherever he went. Minhyeon got very mad and started yelling at you. He even told you that you should never have befriended them if you knew you would just leave in the end. No matter how much you tried to explain their emotions just heightened and in the end, they decided that to make the most of your remaining time together they would keep everything on good terms.
Now was the moment of truth for how Yoongi would take it.
“My year's programme is nearly over Yoongi. I go back to university in England in two months.” You explained, trying to keep your voice neutral and the tears at bay.
“Okay.” He whispered and this time it was his turn to pick at his food.
Silence fell over the table. There was nothing to say. Nothing could change or fix the situation, so the only thing left to do was accept it.
“Let's just get the bill. It’s too stuffy in here.” He snapped. All you could do was nod and try to keep your heart beating. His reaction was already clear to you;
He had switched off his emotions.
-----
Three days had passed since you told Yoongi of your news. This also meant three days since you had heard from him. The hundreds of texts had been left unread and the only things you had heard about him were from Jungkook.
“Hyung’s locked himself away in his studio. He hasn’t spoken to any of us since he came back from your house last night. What happened? Did you break up?”
You didn’t explain to him what had happened between you and Yoongi and instead left the conversation by telling him to let you know when he came out.
You text Minhyeon the day you told Yoongi and he had agreed to have a drink with you the following day. He had told you to give Yoongi some space to let the information sink in. But you didn’t have the time for space. He would be starting promotions in four days now. This would be your last chance at anything.
That same day when you went back with Minhyeon, you decided to tell the rest of the boys of BiT. You stood at the front with all eyes on you and with Minhyeon’s hand on your shoulder, you just said the words with confidence. All members took the news exactly how you would expect they would. Chee and Yujin cried while Daegi nodded and hugged you.
That night you spent it at the BiT dorm.
But you’ve been alone since.
----
Five days passed since you had told Yoongi, and yesterday Jin and Namjoon visited asking about what had happened between you and Yoongi. You were broken at this point, so you just told them. You told them that you were leaving. You told them that you didn’t want anything to turn out like this. You told them that you wanted to live a normal life. You lied that you wanted to be alone. You lied that you wished you had never met any of them. But they didn’t believe any of it for a second.
They went with you while you told everyone else in BTS. The other members cried and held you and you spent the night in their dorm.
You left this morning without seeing Yoongi.
-----
Today was the day before promotions started. BTS was now fully prepared and ready to go. You had decided to sit in the dark until their comeback officially started. You decided you were now going to be nothing more than a supportive fan to BTS. It had to happen eventually anyway.
When the clock hit 8 pm you heard a knock on your door. You emerged from your dark bedroom where you had spent most of your time and groggily made your way to the door. Unlocking it slowly and then pulling it open took more effort than you wanted to put into it. But as soon as the door opened you were greeted with a frantic Yoongi.
“I love you.” He yelled, huffing and rushing every syllable into one. He pulled you by your shoulders towards him and pressed his lips to yours. Forcing himself closer and closer and closer still, he kissed you hungrily, hyper aware of the ticking clock.
He started to walk forwards, forcing you backwards and kicked the door shut with his foot. His hands gripped your hips and yours held onto his arms to keep steady from every force acting on you at once.
“Do you have to leave?” He asked when he pulled back for air.
“Yes. The 29th. The dates set.” You breathed.
“Then let’s make the most of our last night.” He sighed and attacked your lips again.
He was gone when you woke up the next morning and only one piece of paper remained.
------
The two months passed quicker than you thought. You kept yourself low the whole time. Exchanging a few texts a day with any of your friends. The first of the two months was spent keeping an eye on everyone and their promotions and the second was spent packing, contacting the university and preparing to leave. Preparing for today.
There were seven men in your house currently, none of them were any of the men you wished to have beside you on this day. They were carrying boxes from your house to the moving van outside and only talking to you when they absolutely had to.
Your phone stayed in your hand the whole day while you waited for any texts wishing you a goodbye. BiT were touring Japan now so they had said their goodbyes already while BTS had to do it over skype the night before. You missed them all too much. So much so you wanted to stay in Korea forever, but you knew you couldn’t. The whole year felt like a dream that was coming to an end. You never wanted to wake up, but like every dream, it has to be interrupted by reality.
Everything was soon packed into the van leaving you alone in what used to be your house but will soon belong to everyone else. People will be making new memories where all of yours were made, and you wished them the best. A drama free life unlike what yours was.
Wiping one more tear, you gripped your suitcase handle and walked out of the front door without looking back.
-----
Two hours after leaving your house, you pulled up at the airport. It was only when the taxi left and it was just you, your suitcase and an awaiting aeroplane to England that you realised this really was the end. Your life in Korea was over and it was now time to go back to being a normal university student, a life that you no longer wanted but had to live.
Gripping the handles tighter, you took a deep breath and started to walk. You checked in your bags quickly and started to walk towards security. Before you crossed the border where no non-passengers could cross, you looked back towards the entrance, half hoping for everyone to show up and drag you back, but upon seeing no familiar faces, you continued past security and successfully made it to the other side.
You sat waiting for your plane while looking at your phone and scrolling through all of the fansites for BTS and BiT. You had been watching all of their stages and shows and keeping up to date with everything they have been doing. They all looked happy and healthy. Since day one you have always said nothing compares to when they are up on stage, and you believe this until the last day.
While scrolling, you see a fan cam of Yoongi titled “mixtape?” and for some reason, you feel like it’s one you have to watch. You click play and see that it’s Yoongi standing alone on stage. He lifts the mic to his mouth and starts rapping a song you’ve never heard before and by the sounds of it neither had any of the fans. You listened to every lyric carefully and it seemed to hit something deep inside of you. It was only when the last line was spoken that you realised what it meant.
Your flight was called as soon as the video ended and so you made your way to the gate and quickly boarded the plane while fiddling with the piece of paper in your pocket.
“I’ll see you again - 170829”
The End