I remember you saying that once you break up with someone, you write them off completely.
I remember writing to you that there wasn't any turning back.
I'm so impulsive, stubborn, overly passionate, hopeless romantic, and I let you in. All those warm, loving feelings had left with you. I'm trying not to blame myself for how I allowed this to unravel. I'm sorry I made you feel past traumas that seem to still be raw for you... I feel like I lost a huge chuck of me and this pain isn't gone yet. I know it's unfair to you to ask so much, to reach out to me and give me the final blow. Instead, you have done what you said you would...
I have been written off. 6 days... it's still raw... it still hurts... I went full rogue and typed a storm and forced my feelings on you. I'm sorry. That's not very considerate of me. I wished you loved me enough to reach out and try to mend this. I wish we could've stayed together and plan for a future together.
Now I see, I was just someone who did meet your expectations. Your wants and your needs. You deserve to have those met.
We both deserve that, but I want you and need you. I chose you, but you didn't choose me back. I thought we were each other's kindred spirit... We had a great romance, I had a great romance with you. Your goofiness, kindness, gentle words, and patience were there, but I guess I was too much for you. That wasn't who I am, what I am is a friend who is wanting to support and be present for another. That's where we couldn't see eye to eye.
So I lay and wait until this feelings drip away with every tear.... pouring out until these feelings finally so fall with pain of loss... I just want to take that breath of acceptance that you aren't coming back into my life... I just want to fast forward to forgetting... but here I am... feeling and filling this sea of tears I'm currently still crying out for you.