#idontknowhowmuchicantake

[feltmasterskinface]

I wanted to cut myself today after being grabbed by the waist by the one of the men who groped me 3 years ago, so I drew in my arm instead.

"Y me, kill me"

I felt a little better but... not at all better.

I did write down on piece of paper to my manager at checkout that said he was making me uncomfortable and that she needs to have a talk with him.

She said she would, but she is weak-willed like me. I should have crushed his hand, but I was embarrassed and scared and the whole kitchen was watching.

I wonder if I'll make it to 25 before I snap, deteriorate and do something I'll regret.

Why am I nothing?

[bl4ck-fetus]

[smirnoff42]

It's happening again

When I was a kid my parents had very high expectations. They still have high expectations for me now but it's just stuff like graduating high school and getting into college and stuff like that. What I'm talking about is this: making a 10 year old log I don't know how many hours into practicing school work. Yelling at you every time you forget your homework and treating like your an idiot for doing so (which is never okay, school is a good eight hours of learning, you might forget stuff here and there). Making a big deal out of grades that literally don't mean anything until high school. Fat shaming you for not exercising even though they don't let you go outside and play. Pushing you to your mental limit and writing off your mental exhaustion as laziness. All to prepare you for the future they planned throughout your childhood. I went through all that as a kid. I hated it. I thought that I would finally be safe from it but I'm not. They're doing the same thing to my little brother. It hurts to watch them do it all over again. I try to tell them off but they never listen. I want them to stop but it's hard. How do you tell someone they need to change when you can't even bear to live through that again? I just feel so honestly scared.