#idyulhee;

[idhyukjae]

honey.

ft. @idyulhee; in chile, lonely hearts & two spoonfuls of sugar.

today is better than yesterday, or so he tells himself constantly. the last few days have been a blur in many different kind of senses not even hyukjae’s mind can comprehend. he’s on the verge of exhaustion and they just arrived to chile, so that’s already pretty fucked up. but today seems to be a pretty good morning after a long and tiring flight he couldn’t even enjoy because a kid kept kicking his seat. he had the kbs show to look forward to, the titanium performance and of course, his special stage with aroon. 

ah, his best friend. 

he really didn’t even want to think too much about him, nor them; which is why he decided to sneak out of their shared hotel room, just go down to the restaurant and have breakfast by himself. it actually sounded like a pretty relaxing idea, it would allow him to remain calm, hopefully not overthink and just... be at peace with himself, for once. but those plans come crashing down when he spots no other but ji yulhee closing her hotel room behind her. 

there’s a small, sweet and quite cute story behind them. they debuted on the same year and the moment hyukjae laid his eyes on her; he was hooked.. and he was also too embarrassed to speak up about it. in a few words, he could only describe her as his ideal type. not only was she beautiful, but he loved watching her perform because she possessed such strength and such presence, he couldn’t even help but crush hard on her.

eventually life’s casualties brought them together, hyukjae gathered enough courage (despite, of course, the limitations of their respective companies when it comes down to dating and yet, still asked her out). things, however, didn’t really go too well. she’s a fantastic person, he thought and still absolutely believes, but they are too different, their personalities completely opposite to one another and yet, there’s still a connection that evolves from an innocent crush into something more platonic, into a friendship he wouldn’t dare trade for anything else in the world.

“ah, noona.” his steps get a little bit quicker as he catches up to her, a smile, although exhausted, still spreads on his face. “good morning, where are you going?” he’s too nonchalant, but also maybe too inquisitive, so he lets out a soft chuckle, “sorry, i’m just wondering because i’m about to go get breakfast.” so he pauses for two seconds, “and i was wondering, if you’re hungry, would like to have breakfast with me?”.

[idtali]

dear to me.

ft. @idyulhee; sleepover at taehee’s apartment. snacks, ice cream & movies.

“i wish i could explain to you just how exhausted i am, like i’m seriously considering getting a hip implant.” she’s not, she’s joking. but she’s not really joking about actually being in pain though. there’s plenty of things on taehee’s plate and it started with her return to her career. when she dipped right into promotions, then traveling to america to visit her parents, do a couple of photoshoots, then she went back to south korea, then went to china, did more photoshoots, more interviews, went back to korea, worked hard on heaven’s comeback, in the meantime also did snl, and then more photoshoots in america, one more visit to her parents. and now she’s here, almost dying.

“or are we just too old?” the moment yulhee had crossed the door of her apartment, taehee had taken her hand and dragged her to her bedroom, where her bed was filled with bags of snacks, netflix on and two milkshakes taehee herself had prepared for them. 

“maybe we’re just too old.” she leans back against the pillows, titanic on the screen, but taehee’s much more focused on complaining about her body not holding on as good as it used to that it’s truly bothersome at this point. she dips her hand into a bag of chips and grabs two. “but i really do want to assume you’re doing far better than me because you always look so good while i’m just here complaining like i’m fifty years old. share your secrets yu.” 

and taehee doesn’t want to admit it, probably too embarrassed to, but for sure, the random idea of her crushing on a man slightly younger than her kept her on her toes at all times. mind you, a man she wasn’t even sure wanted anything to do with her. but here she was, laying her eyes on him regardless and no matter how many times she told herself to be smart and not fall for it. obviously, she wasn’t smart about it. 

she brings one of the chips into her mouth and leans her head on yulhee’s shoulder, lets out a soft sigh, almost too deep, too nostalgic. sharing moments like this felt so nice, it made her feel so normal and so happy, so relaxed. it had been some time since she could just sit back and enjoy life, enjoy the small moments and quite frankly, she was happy she had the opportunity to live those with her closest, if not best, friend by her side. 

[idhyukjae]

counting stars.

ft. @idyulhee; a shoulder to cry on & whispered secrets @ a park, late at night.

hyukjae claims he’s never been too good with words. but considering his latest ramblings, one would believe he’s lying about it. he went off, he didn’t randomly just go on a random rambling as he usually do, but he literally went off, and at no other but aroon, his best friend.

former best friend.

former everything.

and now he lacked the words to explain what was happening to him. to explain what was wrong with him. because everything was wrong. everything was going the way it shouldn’t go. because he sabotaged everything and all thanks to jealousy. all thanks to a love he couldn’t quite understand. to an identity he was just coming to terms with. and now here he is, walking through the dark streets of seoul, a large hoodie embracing his body. his hoodies were, as is, too large for his body but this time? it is larger.

he’s stopped eating. stopped doing anything. all he does is be in bed, plug his headphones to his phone and listen to music all day long. if it’s not that, he’s trying to work on music and if it’s not that, then he’s outside the dorm, either at the shelter, either at some alley just feeding stray cats and dogs. whatever he has to do not to face aroon, not to see him, not to even acknowledge his existence. and now hyukjae can’t wait for the day they get to move out, the day he gets to stay away from the man he loves, the man who would never even see him in any other light than best friends.

it’s not raining too much, it’s the kind of rain that’s just slightly annoying, little droplets of water sprinkling on his face as he stands outside celeste’s dorm. he shouldn’t be bothering yulhee with this, he knows. yet, here he is. plus, it’s not like anyone could catch them hanging out, because hyukjae believes he’s not really that interesting to be followed around, so they should be safe, right?

he had texted her moments ago, asking her if she was awake, to come down and meet him. so now he waits, hands shoved in his pockets, tired feet shifting from one to the other. he sees someone come out of the building and when he sees it’s no other than the woman he was hoping to see, hyukjae is almost brought to tears.

how pathetic.

he holds them back, however. doesn’t want to break, certainly doesn’t want that to happen in front of her, not right now at least. “noona.” he calls for her, voice low, just as it has been since some days ago. “thank you.” he approaches her and holds his hand out for her to take, if she wants, of course, “can you walk with me?” he hopes she won’t notice the noticeable weight loss aroon had pointed out to him, or the big bags under his eyes. he’s definitely not the hyukjae people are so used to seeing. that sparkle in his eyes, that innocent smile, it’s all gone.

and he has no idea if that’ll ever be back.