#ifyoureadthisiloveyou

[piercethehorizoninreverse]

#repost #yesitsforthetheme #chill #jk #loveyouguys New song with @apollo713_ this Friday 🙊 #art #ifyoureadthisiloveyou

[musingsoftheshygirl]

Rants and Ravings: Not Indian or African or Canadian Enough

My identity is something that always comes up. Especially in a world that tries to put you into neat little boxes. I was lucky enough to have parents who taught me to love all the makings of me. That was never the problem. The problem I have always had is everyone else learning to accept it. Everyone seems to want to tell me who I am and where I come from. From friends to family to past lovers, so let me break it down.  My nationalities are Canadian South African and Indian. One is not more important than the other and no I will not choose. Yes I am Canadian despite what you see, and YES I resent the question "no, where are you really from." I am every bit as Canadian as you. I am South African because my heart is there. It is my motherland. Its where I was born and raised. Its where my parents are from, and their parents and their parents before them. It is where they risked their lives against aparthied to be seen as humans. Because I do not have my passport anymore doesn't make me any less African. Because my family is not full black does not make me any less. If South Africa is my motherplace than India is my grandmother land. It is where the majority of my ancestors came from. Some as slaves migrant workers under British rule, and others to escape the caste system and marry whomever they loved. It is where my culture comes from. It is where my religion comes from. Because I do not speak the language, or have ever been there does not make me any less Indian than you. Because I choose to wear short shorts sometimes does not make any less Indian. Because I am very opinionated and will call you out on your shit does not make me an less of a "good Indian girl." Ethnically I am Indian (telagu and tamil). My fair skin is not an excuse to question my South Indian heritage. NO it is not a compliment when you say that. I also am part black/white. It is not a lot compared to my Indian genes but it is there. To deny it would be to deny my grandfather and his mother, and to forget her struggles in my family. I love the curl in my hair and the way my nose is shaped. It is part of me and it is something I claim. I do not care if you are offended by it.  I went to the most ignorant white private school where people would tell me to stop acting black by claiming to be South African and to claim my Indianness. My parents and family before them struggled so that I could claim and be proud of both. Claiming just one is not an option. I had a girl tell me that I had a"black nose...no offence." None taken my features were gifted to me by the divine. All the makings of me are beautiful. I pitied her hate, it showed in her face. I have had Indian guys trying to talk to me saying things like you're so fair (I am not) I forget you are tamil, then get shocked when I peace out. THAT IS NOT A COMPLIMENT. I have my cousins tell me I am not Indian because I am too Asian looking. My ex used to consistently tell me that I am neither Canadian/African and that I was Indian and too not be ashamed of it. Claiming all of me does not make me ashamed of anything. Since we are being superficial here....I go to to temple, I do my poojas, I wear my mehndi and my saris, I can bhangra like a beast and reenact the majority of Kajol's and SRKs scenes while waving my dupatta and dancing in the rain. It does not negate any other part of me. It never has to and people need to stop this mentality that you can only be one. My girl said it best "I can shake my booty and do bharatanatyam like no other," and you will respect me, ALL of me.  I am who I am because of all three. Loving, being proud and understanding all three is the only way I can become the woman I want to be. Anyone who thinks differently can kiss my CanAfrIndian Ass =)   

[1000percentweird]

a REALLY long rant :)

Most people hear a song that they like and listen to it until they get bored, I don't why, because every reason is different. However, I take music I hear and imagine, I imagine what kind of story it can tell, what the message is. For example, Numb by: Linkin Park, the generic message is that they don't want to be the same as an other person, they want to be themselves and be happy. Which today, there is a lot of divergency in the world, but we are still being oppressed because of many reasons, the most common ones are:

- How we look -How we act -Gender -Skin tone -Accent -Family history -Social Media

And the list can go on for miles, I mean, really people, don't we have anything better to do than stare at people and judge them!?  Everyone is beautiful and handsome in their own way, and we, as people, don't need someone to tell us different. So, to anyone read this, so that means you, yeah, I'm talking to you. I don't know you, I may never will know you, but your beautiful/handsome. So keep smiling because your strong enough to make it through.

Now, here is where I get mad:

Alright, to those bullies, I know that saying stop it won't do anything, because you think your to good for feelings and you don't give to flying shits about others feelings. However, as a victim, and a survivor... THE VICTIMS ARE FUCKING TIRED OF YOUR BULL SHIT!!! And if you don't believe me, look at all of the crap you have with people who committed suicide, and I'm sure your thinking "I didn't do any of that," or "That it was a joke," or the infamous "They had it coming," I am calling you out on your bull shit, because your wrong.  Why do you feel the need to pick on people? Is it because we are quiet? Because we are skinny? Because we are obese? Is it because we don't look like the porn star of your dreams? Well, honey, when you bully... You don't look good either.

Onto a different topic, to the government (which I doubt you will read because you wont fucking care):

Alright, I am going to be voting soon, and I don't want to live in a world where I stuck being put through Hell just because your stupid congress are to busy rolling through their huge piles cash. I am bringing up history, because you need a fucking lesson, so let's have a teenager teach you something. When we got here, to this new world, we had no idea what to do, all we had was a small amount of people, a vast unknown land, a small amount of food and water, and some luck. We left our various places and homes because we wanted religious freedom, we sought freedom, and we fucking fought for it, where? In the American Revolution. Why? Because we were tired of the fucking bull shit that your putting us through now.  Today we have many choice on who we want to be, and that is great, but your being unfair. How? Easy, you feel the need to sit around and do nothing while we do everything in our desperate and small power to make things right. Well, what happened to the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!? Huh? In the first two fucking words alone we don't even have that! We are fighting with ourselves over something that should be allowed, what is it? Thats right, Gay Marriage and equal rights! I want to be free to make a simple decision, which is whether or not I want to marry a girl or a guy. Why is it such a huge issue that some guy in the fucking clouds doesn't like us? I don't give a fuck. Now, don't misunderstand, I respect every religion, because thats your thing, so okay. But force your shit down my throat and expect me to be okay with it, by the bibles definition, we would all be going to Hell. And don't give me the bull shit of how you haven't done anything wrong, because that's a lie. And you know it. I'm sorry, but where is your God? Where has he been when people have been abused, when they have been murdered, or when they kill themselves? Where the hell is he? And furthermore, why is God a he? When this God first came around, did we see a huge dick shaped cloud in the sky that said "I am God?" With bright red lettering? No? When don't tell me he is real and try to make me believe with out some sort of proof.  Another little history lesson:

When the Salem Witch Trails happened, we found an explanation of bad bread, which causes hallucinations and to go crazy, and since it was a bad time, before good medicine, it was written off as a curse from Satan, and that there was no cure. So now, Paganism and Wiccan are written off as Satanism. Well, those are two groups are very different things. Don't believe me? Look it up.

So by now I'm sure you hate me, fine, I don't care. Another thing to talk about is the "Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice" debate, and I have a story for you, so grab the popcorn, I'll wait.

Alright, story time kiddos:

One day, I was driving home with my dad, talking about some sort of school activity I wanted to be at, I looked out the window right as a church bill board passed by, it said "Pro-Jesus means Pro-life. Prove your faith to God now." And I was confused so I looked it up, and here is the word for word definition (thank you google) the definition of Pro life is "opposing abortion and euthanasia". So, let me break it down, if you believe in God and Jesus, you hate the idea of letting someone get rid of something that they didn't plan for, and they got scared, so they want to get rid of it. No big deal. What if a girl got raped and she got pregnant because of it, your going to force her to keep the kid? Grow the fuck up. You can't just tell people what to do. You are not the boss of us, and you never will be.

Now I know I am going to get a lot of shit saying "what can you do about it? Your just some idiot behind a computer screen." Well at least this idiot has a heart, and a good mind. Because there are some thing that you should NEVER do:

1. Blame the victim in any situation. Because remember THEY ARE THE VICTIM, not the one who did it. 2. Force someone to something they don't want to do(for example, rape. If you are that sexually frustrated or you are that traumatized by something don't traumatize others, they don't need it.) 3. Discriminate others by any means of the spectrum.

And the list could go on, but I forgot some (silly me).

But here is what you SHOULD ALWAYS do:

1. Be nice and respectful to everyone, even the ones you don't like. 2. Let people live their own lives, it isn't yours to control, you want to control someone? Go make zombies. 3. someone needs help? Help them to your best ability. It won't kill you.

If you don't like the way the world is right now, then stand up and fight to change it, this is our home, and I will not let it waste away because people are scared of change.

This is my future, and if I have to fight alone, then fine, I will challenge the world to change it for others, so... This Is War (the song, from 30 seconds to mars, listen to it, okay?)

My name is Kat, and I want to change the world. I will never give up.

And as a final note, to those of you who are struggling and want to end it all, don't. Please, you may not see it now, but there are people who love you, and need you, so stay strong. If you don't want to stand strong for yourself, then do it for me. The idiot behind a computer screen.

[mikethcm-blog]

done tumbling for now, gonna go watch some crappy movie on netflix then go to sleep ✌