starter for: @wanttobewinner starter call (open)
What a fascinating thing it must be to witness — a man and his very first experience with a vending machine.
Clearly, whatever it was he was trying to get, the machine ate his money somewhere along the way. And despite it only costing him a single dollar (and a half!), Wilder appears absolutely distraught.
“No fuckin’ way… this thing’s a scam? I gotta look out for more than just people in this world?”
He’s talking to himself, mind you, so caught up in his own little predicament that he almost fails to even notice somebody else is close enough to witness his dramatics.
Almost.
He eventually straightens his back and turns around, making eye contact with the man standing ever-so-patiently in line, several feet away from him. “Hey man, you should put your money away and not even bother. That hunk of metal’s packed full of nothing but delicious lies.” He is completely serious.