#ikarus-the-phoenix

[ikarus-the-phoenix]

Y’all I’m dying.

[ikarus-the-phoenix]

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[ikarus-the-phoenix]

I feel like I'm part of a secret society of Christians who don't close their eyes when they pray. We see each other in prayer circles, trading flinting glances of eye contact. We know who each other are. But the majority, who close their eyes when they pray, have no way to know of our existence. We hide among them, lurking in the shadows, and they're none the wiser.

[ikarus-the-phoenix]

I had to do sexual harassment training at work today, and it was kind of ironic that they had a whole segment on not using transgender people's deadnames, but the certificate of completion that I got at the end had my full legal first name on it (which is like a half-deadname to me). I wasn't mad about it, because I completely understand why they needed my legal name on the course. It just had such a chef's kiss of irony that I had to share it here.

[ikarus-the-phoenix]

As an introvert who comes across as very extroverted, I finally found a good analogy to explain how being alone and with people affects my energy levels.

Spending time with people is like drinking coffee: it gives me more energy and happiness in the moment, but over time the energy fades and it starts to deplete my energy.

Spending time alone is like sleeping: after having time to myself, I feel genuinely rested and restored. However, too much time to myself (like getting too much sleep) can end up making me feel more tired.

[ikarus-the-phoenix]

I can't stop thinking about the scene where Emily is outed to Lavinia. I’ve rewatched it three times now. The acting is incredible. Before Lavinia even says anything, I could already tell by her facial expression that she was going to be supportive. I've come out to a number of people within a conservative Christian context, and I recognize those expressions well: she looked surprised and confused but never offended. And then Lavinia's first reaction when Emily didn’t deny liking women was “oh my God, who?” Like she hardly missed a beat. It didn't even matter if her sister loved men or women, Lavinia just wanted to know who her sister loved. And then when Emily does officially come out, Lavinia is immediately supportive, encouraging her to pursue love wherever she finds it.

Lavinia is ally goals.

[ikarus-the-phoenix]

I feel like Taylor Swift's music is decent (not bad, not excellent) until you find yourself in a situation where one of her songs is incredibly relevant to your life, and then suddenly she's a lyrical genius.

[ikarus-the-phoenix]

I can’t believe that there is an actual, real-life surveillance alliance called the Five Eyes. It sounds like it’s straight out of a dystopian YA novel. But it’s fucking real.

Be safe out there.