Well Hello Everyone, (it's been awhile)
A little rant from me :/ I finally showed my mom one of my poems. And she cried. It never really came to me that she would care that much, that my poems are actually okay. I never thought I could move someone. (Much less my mother) it was a poem I wrote and gave in to my teacher. The day after, she asked me if she could give it in to our school publisher. I said yes, and nothing more. It's weird letting people in. I don't know what came over me to hand that poem in. What came over me a week later when I showed it to my mom. I feel like people know too much now. And it's weird. I didn't really want to show my mom because I was afraid she was going to show other people. (that's what she did) And it's weird. I'm afraid of people expecting things from me. People judging me on my truest version of myself, essentially. I never really show people my artistic side (if that's what you can call it) and I find it hard to expose myself like that. I feel vulnerable and I can't face my family right now. I never liked sharing my ACTUAL feelings with someone irl and it's even harder to see the reactions of people when they read what I'm feeling. Much less, I'm not saying I'm a closed-off person but I never really share my true feelings. Like I had no problem telling people I love 5SOS or that I had a crush on a guy, but I never told people about my mental health. Only recently was I motivated to do that. And that's another story (I promise I'm not crazy or anything). I think the school I'm going to right now is helping me. I'm popping out of the bubble I made myself. Sure, I still am sorta shy, but I'm a little more friendly and a little more open to people. That's what counts I guess. Everyone in my school is there to help me out, and I'm there to help other people out too. I haven't met anyone ABSOLUTELY AMAZING at the school yet, but I have my best friend at my side. She helps me out too. And I help her. So this is what I feel. Wow I haven't done an actual entry in a while guys how do you like it? (Send me a question saying what you think ;D) this little rants are what I created my tumblr for. I guess I just kind of forgot where and who I was. ILUBCHU
