lance's bday week day 2: friends
After traveling around hundreds of galaxies, after visiting worlds that he can’t pronounce the name of, after being on the edge of death and coming back, time after time after time–
It is difficult to stay grounded.
Lance found his head was not in the right place most days. Thoughts of Earth, of salty oceans and pink sand, of his mother’s voice, of his sister’s laugh, his niece and nephew’s smiles–they all crowded his head, bumping against each other, fighting to take control and leave him helpless to reminisce and miss and ache.
Nevertheless, the days he thought of his family and home were the better ones.
The other days–when the thoughts of death and feelings of fear managed to take hold and win the space in his head–those days were the difficult ones.
Those days he remembers his inadequacy. He remembers how, even back on Earth, he was never quite good enough. He remembers Iverson’s harsh words, remembers the doubt all his instructors had in their eyes when Lance would raise his hand to answer a question.
It’s hard to forget.
Those days he can feel himself slipping back into his old skin.
(He supposes it was never really “old”, just hidden under layers of cocky smirks and pick up lines.)
But, he’s lucky.
Sometimes he almost forgets he isn’t alone.
(“Buddy,”
“Hey man,”
“Lance?”
“Loser,”
“My boy,”)
On the days when his head is full of ugly thoughts, when he’s terrified of closing his eyes, when he’s afraid of what he’ll remember, when he’s afraid of what he’ll forget–
They are all there.
(Lance can hear a strong voice in his head, usually when Keith reminds him that He’s alive, that They’ll find him–
Lance can hear Shiro telling him he’s their sharpshooter, that he’s a crucial part of their team.)
Lance isn’t alone, despite all the days he feels like he’s back in middle school, despite all the days he can hear the harsh voices telling him he’s weak and pathetic–
There is only thing that, after seeing the ends of the universes, Lance is certain of.
His friends will always have his back.
Always.