#im diluted

[dontgowastingyourdevotion]

if i where i don’t know an adventure hot and sky eyed and my wife the most sky eyed person i could find thinking she would match my freak looked me dead in the eyes and decided she would chamge me and make me a “home base” i too would divorce her and run with a pack of coyotes

[dontgowastingyourdevotion]

nah wtf why is this week a recap

[dontgowastingyourdevotion]

i love seeing the ill lookin ill in beautiful animation

to be seen in the brokenness that chronic and terminal illness can leave you in and still seen as only beauty is my biggest draw to jayvik, as someone who suffers from chronic illness that has made me slightly less useful and naturally vary run over i find joy and hope in the love and pure admiration show in the show and in the fandoms portal of Jayce's all consuming love for a dying viktor.

[dontgowastingyourdevotion]

I've never been broken everyone else is stupid and dramatic

[dontgowastingyourdevotion]

I used to have really bad intrusive thoughts specifically that i was hallucinating that i left a social situation and was still in public when i was vary much by myself, so i recognized this made me preform constantly until i started naming the feeling specifily by being a bitch about it, i would have that thought and go “no im in the car dumbass you really think im still at that persons house thats so stupid” and “i cannont live like im halucinating i have to trust my sneses and not the dumbas who cant spell shit” and it works great now i just have to get over being politly told no and the food stuff. But im like super close to normal

[dontgowastingyourdevotion]

give me cowboys

[dontgowastingyourdevotion]

id pray to change this but if i cant tell my friends im trans how could i tell God

[dontgowastingyourdevotion]

For this to work you will start out life tortured, you should feel pain and grief over nothing and should see no other option. Then you will sit in it and never know the words or names of the devil in your ear. One day you will read a book or see a movie that very poorly and vaguely relates to your rot that nothing else has. You will be addicted to this feeling, to seeing yourself and recognizing you are not alone. You will chase this feeling in content then one day you will see what you could be. 

You find your goal in a micro influencer or a young adult volunteering with your theater. This is the finish line now you can start the race. At this point you will have words and descriptors for the rot growing in your chest, but you have to act quick before it spreads. The steps are easy. You must completely change yourself but not here, not where people know you, not when they can see you, so pick up a crappy job in Ohio. This will be where you change, this is your chrysalis so it will be gross. In this phase try a thousand things you look like a freak so why not dress like one. Take drugs, tell people a different name, dress however it doesn't matter here. Get rid of all social media you don't need it yet this is not a progress report this is a surprise attack. Half way through this stage you will realize the old you is gone only the bones remain but those bones are covered in mold these new ones are shiny and clean. created by your hands as your body is molded by you as is your destiny don't let go now or you'll end up in a ditch. Finally you're unrecognizable, but here they know the person you were before they see the shadow and grave so let them mourn the mold and leave for New York. The city doesn't know you, there is no evidence of your crimes. They don't know the blood on your hands is your own but they don't ask as the whole city is caked in blood. 

Rejoin society as a new man no one can ask if no one knows and those who refuse to change are thousands of miles away.