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what i was saying is that haa ki you can only perform well when youre at least TRYING to heal ok expecting your body to surpass science and perform not only good but also The best while youre not giving it even the minimum basic amenities is simply unreasonable and frankly stupid ts pmo so bad man

#^ im being such a bitchass know it all etc etc rn #im jsut #so #done

It is devastating how much of the princezams self esteem/self image is based on how much those he cares about cares about him. After every betrayal no matter how big or small we see him spiraling and spending so long with wallowing in that hurt and wondering what we did wrong, or what he could have done to prevent it.

And whats fascinating the most to me, is that this pacifism arc was basically a solo arc for zam, where he should have had a chance to gain his own self confidence in his ideals and ability. BUT it somehow seems to have had the opposite effect ! Where, he now clings even more tightly to the few people who he can rely on( his whole having "only four people that care about him" on the server). And despite people telling him that those four people are enough(Derap), he doesnt believe people, he cant trust them fully ever, and so the cycle repeats. He constantly doubting his own fighting abilities, his own morals, his own everything !! He never believed he could stand alone and in a self fulfilling prophesy he fails !!

#sparrow speaks #IM JSUT #I need this guy to fucking believe in himself or smt #or take deraps words to heart more #(<-- not everyhting he says. Just the positive stuff)#This is also why he put up with kab for so long #because his own self worth is so low he didnt see how badly kab was treating him/ taking down to him and aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #princezam #lssmp #lifesteal spoilers #lifestealblr #remember how when he was a 'pacifist' he constantly doubted his own self control to remain peaceful if he did kill

IM GOING FUCKING INSANE RIGHT NOW YOU DONT FUCKING UNDERSTAND

#lizz.txt #AAAAAAAAAUGUUUGUUGUH #AAAAAAAAAAAAH #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #WHO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD #ILL ELABOEATE LATER #IM JSUT #WHOUOUGOUGH #BEST JUMPCASTER OF MY LIFE #JUMPSCARE EXUCSE ME I CANT TYPE IM JSUT #WHO!!!!! I LOVE YOU #I LOVE YOU

my partner is going to be looking for a part time job (wfh atm) and im bawling at my job bc i dont want us to have conflicting schedules bc if we do im going to be so fucking alone at the apartment and i cant deal with myself alone