things that happened on degrassi but i make them about riverdale
they had cheryl say cuckoo bananas one time, zig novak was heraldo, and also vanessa morgan was mike dallas's baby mama so like clearly there's existing connections here. and just like riverdale and degrassi writers-- i love putting characters into situations. so. without further ado..... things that happen on degrassi (tng & next class) that should've happened on riverdale.
betty pelts dodgeballs at jughead during gym class after he is vague about going on a date or not
dolly zoom on archie's face as fred says "your mom is gay"
betty and gay kevin have a fight while filming a fake commercial for unisex cologne for class
^ this with gay kevin
reggie does elaborate business deals with locker trading so that veronica can have the best one
archie sending veronica flowers with a card that says ”you rock! xoxo archie”
jughead choking and needing the heimlich but refusing to let gay kevin give him the heimlich because it would mean gay kevin has to touch him.
betty getting into an actual violent physical fight with blood with a random girl at school
^ okay go watch this video right now you only need to watch like the first minute exactly. the rest is completely optional. i have several scenarios in mind here:
- idea one is gay kevin having issues with fangs for the billionth time and so when in doubt kiss archie?
- idea two is something jarchie related either betty or veronica is the dylan here .
- IDEA THREE IS DYLAN=JUGHEAD GAY MARCO=ARCHIE. SO WHEN IN DOUBT KISS REGGIE?!
- but also. the very first episode of riverdale is veronica so when in doubt you kiss betty. okay like realistically the scene is not like that but i think they shouldve let betty say "so when in doubt you kiss betty." for me personally. she would not fucking say that but i want her to
veronica and jughead go to the college admissions fair while extremely high.
RAS plays a similar role to kevin smith and gives advice to cheryl about being gay
kangs toxic poker game. what more can i say
veronica: as you and jughead’s closest friends- jughead: oh actually i don’t really like you. veronica: SHH!
natasha bedingfield performs at prom. archie gets to dance his heart out and cry a little to unwritten. and pocket full of sunshine woah oh
toni gets so much into vampire books that she makes out with cheryl and thinks about vampires too hard and bites her on the neck (this would be a great reference to vanessa morgan's time on another canadian teen show my babysitter's a vampire and also i think we should let toni be a little crazy for fun)
lgbt mixer at la bonne nuit. nothing crazy happens on the degrassi episode but i just wish it had happened on riverdale. like maybe veronica and kevin sing same love or born this way. (again that did not happen on degrassi just using the fact they did an lgbt mixer at the teen speakeasy as a jumping off point.)
when jughead gets hired by tabitha at pops, he immediately burns down the restaurant. they then go to a casino in niagra falls and get vegas-style married
cheryl adopts a pig (that later destroys her house) instead of coping with being alone
reggie attends a meeting about homophobia brought on by locker room bullying and someone explains the definition of internalized homophobia and he says out loud "im a homophobe" and starts crying
jughead poisons bret with stuff that makes you throw up. this involves cups being switched and a reference to roman history (but in the riverdale version betty supports and enables it)
jughead writes a story about a girl getting stalked who has a protective boyfriend trying to stop it but he makes the ending be that the boyfriend realizes he can never protect her from the stalker so he kills her. and betty is like dude um what that is insane. and hes genuinely like what it's just a story. later jughead ends up still not being able to figure out an ending and burns the script on stage while having a breakdown
they have to build rube goldberg machines for class. it doesnt matter who i just want this to be something
fp and alice wedding where bughead break up and get back together like five times about it
core four smokes weed during 2x14 The Hills Have Eyes (degrassi had an episode where teens were unsupervised in a cabin. Just Like.)
gay kevin does a gay musical production of romeo and juliet.
some film guy that jughead adores comes and does a guest lecture and so in order to impress the guy he smokes weed with chic and makes a terrible insane short film to show said film guy
timeskip jughead does mdma at an artsy party where people are very high and painting with their bodies on the walls and floors. in order to avoid his problems.
gay kevin wears a beret at least once
^ bughead texts
veronica sings triangle tra la le la by patsy cline while in the midst of one of her 'reggie or archie' moments
betty gets really into axe throwing with lesbians (the pretty poisons) in the woods
unfortunately i cannot find a video uploaded of gay tristan performing it but. gay kevin voice riverdale you make drama look! so! good!
veronica trying to tank her father's mayoral campaign by being gay with betty and outing hiram as a homophobe
reggie: for the last time i'm not gay. or homophobic. just missing my best bro....
jughead won't shut up in class so cheryl cuts off some of her hair and then asks jughead to hold the scissors for a sec. and then she raises her hand and tells the teacher jughead cut her hair
beronica has a heartfelt moment about admitting feelings for each other and in the middle of it reggie walks up to them with saddest look on his face and says "am i hotter than archie? be honest. actually don't." and then walks away
veronica comes out to avoid political backlash and the word gets around to hermione who tries to comfort her by saying "no one's gonna believe you're gay. it happens to all powerful women. even hillary"
cheryl and veronica have a fake trial in class over twitter beef
cheryl auditions for a boy part in a play directed by gay kevin. gay kevin initially says no, but cheryl points out that it should be about relating to the pain of the character, not gender. gay kevin agrees and says that he is going to play the part himself because no one understands what he's going through better than him, right?
i'm constructing a reality where fangs is dating gay kevin when he is in the infamous bus crash but instead of dying he goes into a coma. and gay kevin is loyally by his bedside until he snaps like three months in and hooks up with moose. the night he does that, fangs wakes up from said coma.
veronica, speaking to reggie: even though we're a toxic couple, i really miss you and i want our break to be over.
betty has a terrible reaction to weed and someone finds her sadly eating slices of bread from a bag saying “i thought the bread would make me less high but it isnt working”
and finally, and crucially, they should've done a shark in the water style promo for at least one of the seasons. thanks for tuning in.
regarding my self indulgent jsab headcanons that may or may not just be an entire au at this point: I'm giving all the characters names!! personal favorite so far is the boat, who's named "Ship."
when ctommy said "we were a family" and when ceret called their old fellows their brothers and when lmanburg was a FAMILY THEY WERE A TEAM THEY WERE FIGHTING FOR EACH OTHER AND FOR A BETTER WORLD AND HRGRHGRHR
Danielle watching the two from the couch with a glass of wine with Andrew teaching Shelby how to dance- not mechanically or to look good, but to actually enjoy themself while doing it. They're all laughing.
