#im realizing that

[doughyduo]

Engineering is stupid.

Heejin’s butt is not.

[mango-forest]

Not As Much

When Marino is twelve, he figures out that maybe he isn’t as cis as he thinks he is. He doesn’t really know what to do about it. He doesn’t have a “best friend.” Sure Kim invites him over sometimes, but he doesn’t feel like a best friend. So Marino tries to wing it. There’s a bunch of people online who talk about, some talk about how their soulmate took it. Marino isn’t really interested in that, he just wants to know who he is.

Marino starts using she/her pronouns. Only sometimes, when she feels more feminine. It feels better than he/him on those days, but sometimes he/him feels good too. Marino tried they/them as a main set after about three months of experimenting. They think they might be genderfluid, but in April they decide that no, nonbinary feels better.

When they come out to their parents, they can tell that Tom and Sabine don’t really know what to do. So they try to be patient, but it’s hard. Especially when there’s no one else they’re out to.

They start designing. Clothes to make them appear androgynous, more feminine, outline their masculine features. Marino sees the name Damian on their inner wrist every time they create an outfit.

One year later and they kinda sorta come out to their school. They ask their teachers to use the name “Marinette,” a feminine sort of name. People stumble unsurely over she/her pronouns, but that’s fine; they haven’t come out yet about that.

Sometimes Marinette lays wide awake at night and wonders about what name their soulmate has branded on them.

When the Gotham trip appears a few years later Marinette resigns themself to their fate. Lila will be there, and she always, always just “accidentally” misgenders them. Marinette’s pretty sure Rose told her about their agab and deadname. She always had trouble understanding, especially after they came out about pronouns.

The morning after they arrive in Gotham, the class is supposed to tour Wayne Enterprises. Marinette feels pretty nice, wearing a black skirt with matching leggings and a green and red shirt. But then Alya corners them in an empty hallway. “Hey,” she starts, tucking a hair behind her ear, “Lila showed me a few videos and articles about ‘nonbinary’—“ her hands make little aborted quotations from where they’re fiddling with her phone—“and maybe you should just leave that in Paris.”

“I—“ Marinette starts, confused, but Alya cuts them off.

“We don’t know if people here will be as. . . accepting of your—statement. Like, yeah I get it; I hate society’s expectations of gender as much as you do, but people here might not get the they/them stuff. So maybe stick with she/her here?”

“Wait, you think—what? I mean, maybe I will be better off trying not to test my luck with transphobia, but you think my pronouns are a—“

“Great!” Alya says with a big, relieved smile. “Glad you got it, girl.” She winks at the end of the sentence and Marinette tries not to gag.

Alya rushes off to the bus and Marinette stays a few minutes in the hallway, trying not to think about the fact that the liar got their best friend to become transphobic. When they finally feel like they won’t cry, they run down the stairs hoping that the bus hasn’t left yet.

When they get down there, they’re severely disappointed. There’s no sign of a bus, or their teacher, or any of their classmates. So Marinette sits on the steps and scratches at their soulmate’s name as they struggle not to cry. The name Damian has been burning since the plane touched down and Marinette can only guess that their soulmate is in Gotham.

So they sit there, in a pretty outfit, with light makeup on, Tikki pressing against them in the purse, soulmate mark burning, and their worn down sneakers tapping against the steps. Marinette doesn’t give attention to a pair of footsteps until they stop in front of them. “Hey,” a deep voice says. “Are you supposed to be with the class touring WE today?”

Marinette glances up and sees a pretty face. “Yeah,” they say.

“Do you need a ride? My brother is the tour guide, he decided that sending his brother is the appropriate response to a student being left behind.”

Marinette lets out a small laugh and runs a hand through their short hair, standing up. “My name is Marinette,” they say, offering their hand.

The boy’s—he’s around their age—eyes widen a bit and he shakes their hand. Once their hands touch, Marinette feels a sharp pain in their inner wrist then it lessens to a warm feeling that spreads throughout their entire body. “My name is Damian,” he says, and Marinette can’t hold back a startled laugh.

After a few moments, Damian hurriedly lets go if their hand, as if it’s just registering that people don’t hold hands for that long. “Oh, uh,” he starts, “are you—are you using—I mean. What pronouns do you use? I use he/him, but your name’s shifted.”

“They/them,” Marinette responds, watching his face.

“Okay,” he says, “I just wanted to make sure I’m not offending you.” And he smiles at them and they want to cry. Because no one’s just said ‘okay.’ There was always questions and insults and awkwardness and hatred and pity; but here’s their soulmate, taking it in stride and making sure they’re not being offended, and even if they turn out not to be romantically involved, Marinette will absolutely love if they can stay friends.

“Okay,” they say, because they can’t say any of that.

Damian cautiously thread fingers with them, and they let it happen. His hand feels warm.

“Okay,” he repeats.

[godfearingwomanist]

.

[ohthefond]

There's really no good time to listen to Photograph, is there?

[ducklingturnedswan-archive-blog]

As is typical of a Sunday night

I am becoming increasingly irritated with certain factions of the fandom whose shipping preferences tend to swerve down a specific path that I do not go down. So I think that means I should call it a night before I go into a ranty mood again, yeah bye

I will say this. I read that apparently Neal and Emma can't be true love because True love doesn't do what Neal did (i'm guessing they mean leave Emma) but I give you the fact that Snow left David when George told her to. Similar to what Neal did. Just saying;.

[fabstracts]

That moment when you feel like a paper tissue, when everyone is done with you, they just throw you away like you were nothing in their lifes...