I’m a lifelong daydreamer. Staring into space. Dissociation can be daydreaming detachment a way to get away from the original trauma when things get too scary. I think you have epilepsy my first husband would say to me. You zone out all the time. I did. I slid into another reality all the time and I didn’t even realize what I was doing while I was doing it. Full body escape. Frozen. Coping as best I could with a body and mind still racked by childhood trauma. Any distraction could be a door into another space away from impending pain. Any place might be point of departure in the physical world—a knot of wood within a wall of paneling, melting Icicles dripping monotonous throughout the day. Escape. Back to when my body left my captive brain behind and I took off running away from Mama. Legs pumping. Heart flying out of my chest. Nothing to hold on to for a long time save the power I felt in my own body in the moment of leaving. #fostergirls #daughterofnoone #driven #imaginationsavedme #internallife #pushthroughthegiveup #writersofinstagram Sent from my iPad https://www.instagram.com/p/B8b1PG2htID/?igshid=1lqlbxd154rdl