First off, itās kinda crazy how fast one month goes by. This time last month I was in bed having anxiety attacks and suffering from all the side effects that come with it praying that I would get over what happened fast because I really didnāt have it in me to go through another heartbreak. I hate having to deal with my feelings and I couldnāt escape them this time. Everything happened so fast, I didnāt get a chance to process anything and thatās when everything hit me at once. It hit me hard as fuck too lol. I was in bed for days, didnāt eat, missed deadlines and ignored texts and calls. And Iām surprised Iām even letting myself type this out because my pride is saying heād probably be gloating at the fact that he evoked an emotion out of me finally and that it serves me right to feel this way because I deserve to be āmiserableā without him blah blah blah. During my break, Iāve realized so many things about myself from my experience with this guy. My only regret is I didnāt realize these things sooner and pull myself out of it but I believe everything happens for a reason. My one goal is to heal from this situation and past ones and be genuinely happy again and I want to do that alone. Anyways thatās enough ranting lol