#impending mental breakdowns

[goatist]

I've seriously got to stop watching news 24 hours straight

[temporarilyeuropean]

Things that are infinitely frustrating:

1. The fact that I'm on hold with the French consulate (and have been for 10 minutes) because the woman who helped me with my visa last Monday told me to come pick it up THIS Monday, which is of course Labor Day. Like I said, anytime the French can take a holiday, they do. Since they won't be open, I have to be on hold until they can tell me to come the next day at the same time. Probably.

2. Luggage is expensive, surprisingly.

3. Having to choose the clothes I'm going to keep/sell/store? Before I move to France. Like Sophie's choice. Seriously.

4. The fact that technology in France is still 6 year behind America, which makes it quite difficult to ask questions by email when you need to say, oh "Where and what time does this orientation take place?" "What will I be doing at my post?" "Can you at least tell me WHERE I will be working and how many days?"

5. Global Warming

6. I'm still on hold.

7. Weighing grocery bills against getting really creative with what's left of mine in the pantry

8. Macbooks are expensive

9. Turns out I can go pick up my visa any day. Total time on hold with the Consulate: 24 minutes.

I'm gonna go buy a Macbook and  suitcase to celebrate. Airline mile points HEEEEY!

Days left in New York: 19

[temporarilyeuropean]

Literal hurricanes take precedent over metaphorical storms.

So while I may be moving to Europe in a month, have just come back from a long vacation in Chicago and Manila, and have to try to fit 5 years of New York into two checked bags and two carry-ons (not to mention get rid of all the possessions that don't fit, make sure all my paperwork is in order, break up with whoever I'm dating at the time, and go to Connecticut for my little cousin's bat mitzvah), my impending mental breakdown surrounding relocation had to be postponed for Ms. blowhard bitch of the year, Hurricane Irene.

Or amplified. Whichever.

While my roommate, who has the calm demeanor of a pacifist panda bear, was ready for the hurricane at "Yeah, I got a bottle of rye," I rushed out to get gallons of water, stocked up on cat food, and taped up our windows. Then I got upset at our other roommate who refused to tape her windows. Then we went to Washington Commons, a local bar, and I calmed down a bit. Then we all passed out back home.

And then the morning...

...Nothing...

Then the afternoon...

...Nothing...

Then the evening...

A little rain and wind, but largely nothing...

Nothing happened so often that we went through the whole bottle of rye, a bottle of Makers Mark, went to the liquor store down the block OUTSIDE (in a HURRICANE) at 7 PM to get more whiskey, made it back alive to watch "You Again," and "the Birdcage," and I cooked Okra for the first time (it was fucking delicious by the way--recipe below). Then, nothing happened some more and we went to bed.

Because the hurricane hype promised the strongest winds between 6-8 AM, I woke up at 6 AM (nothing) and 8 PM (even less of nothing). Then I slept until noon where I woke up to a thin cloud cover and a blue sky peaking through. Then my pacifist panda bear roommate made brunch complete with bloody marys (also fucking delicious. Recipe Below).

So all in all Irene was a blowhard. Like Rush Limbaugh but, y'know, fatter and a little less loud/stupid. Now back to my freak-out over whether I need a printed out insurance policy for my visa appointment tomorrow, where the fuck I can print it out, and if it will even be open (which it probably won't because any time the French can take a holiday, they will).

Oh. And does anyone know where I can buy two large roller suitcases that hopefully wont cost me $300? Thanks.

Delicious Chicken-Okra Stir-fry:

12 Okra pods (or so)

1/2 lb chicken (white meat)

2 Tomatoes (coarsely chopped)

1 Whole red onion (minced)

2 cloves garlic (minced)

2 tbsp butter

Cayenne pepper, garlic powder, salt, pepper

Salt and Pepper sliced Chicken liberally. Cut off the stem and tip of each okra pod and cut lengthwise. Chop in half if desired. Heat butter until melted and it starts to pop, add chicken, leave on high flame until chicken is white. Add minced onion and garlic. After 4 minutes, add the tomatoes and okra, lower flame and simmer for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

EAT AND SAVOR EVERY BITE.

Laura's delicious bloody marys (Laura is the pacifist panda bear):

Mott's vegetable juice (1 quart)

Pickle juice (1/2 cup)

Sriracha (squirt liberally)

Juice of 1 whole lemon

Add your vodka of choice (but please not Georgi. Please never Georgi), and bam. Brunch. Drunk. No real hurricane or impending trans-Atlantic move can ruin your buzz.