Jun 2
"Turns my pockets inside out, butterfly flies out. Butterfly? Not a moth? Interesting."
John Patrick Coan, Hey Riddle Riddle, ep 330, Drone. Bird. Crab.
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"Turns my pockets inside out, butterfly flies out. Butterfly? Not a moth? Interesting."
John Patrick Coan, Hey Riddle Riddle, ep 330, Drone. Bird. Crab.
k and i walked by a stroller last night that no one was by. the street was empty and it sat there alone, in the middle of the sidewalk, by the crystal shop. and as we went by it i said is that... and we split apart from each other and walked on other side, both of us peering in only to find the seat was occupied by someone's purse, a water bottle visible standing up in the portion of the bag that was unzipped, too tall to be enclosed. we almost got a free baby. i said. how are we going to raise it in this frat house? he asked. i turned to him, eyes wild with fear. we're going to have to become business majors. i said. don't. he responded.
wecansexy replied to your post:I don't know this story
im gonna use that cunnilingus line sometime
YES EXCELLENT IMMORTALIZE MY GENIUS
Best part of my first sorta comedy performance as an improv character, a perpetually foreign seeming assassin named Justine who may or may not be from a mountain town in Illinois USA:
Tobias: So you're an assassin?
Tobias Wife: Ooo....how does that work.
Me: Well it's not so much that I murder them so much as I do things to them that...uh make them much suffering and then not want to live anymore, and then they ask me to kill them. So it's more of a...uh...mercy killing type deal.
Tobias: That sounds awful-
Me: I don't understand what's awful about it. Uh everyone is winning. I get money they get happy goodbye nap time. Back home we call it a "two for one at seven eleven" or "A holla rubbler,".
Tobias: Where exactly are you from because that accent and those things don't sound like they're not from America.
Me: I have leeeeeeved a LONG and UNENDING life like the elephant or a highlander.
It went rather well.
Not so fun stuff.
Define: Not very fun stuff. Example: You know when you're so bored that your friends and you look up fun shit to do? Well this is the stuff that turns out not so fun in the end.
improv.