europe trip #2 has been more about going from person to person than from person to place. I have a lot of raw information I’ve never had time and space to examine, and I’m hoping I can fully extract what’s there, even at this late date.
- different people are different. this sounds stupid obvious, but observing totally opposite behaviors and expectations of others when in close contact with them in quick succession especially when they are exact opposites! is helping me to really internalize differences between someone else and me, or conflicts, do not necessarily mean something is wrong with me. (I might have opinions on what’s preferable, but just because one particular person is annoyed about something about me doesn’t mean the thing is wrong, necessarily.) this will be *really* hard to teach myself.
- I should go for stuff socially. sometimes it will turn out. if I had messaged Vancouver!girl earlier, it would’ve gone well; instead, I assumed it would go badly, waited until the day before, and messaged her at the last minute because I Knew I Should. She said she would’ve changed shifts to see me if she knew earlier (!). The girl I went out with from Latvian Tinder - that only happened because I pushed myself to try. I got to see the Elves in Berlin because I asked.
- some people can / want to hang for an hour or two. others, much more time. this isn’t a commentary on me, entirely. it’s about them, and their obligations and current emotional focuses and logistics and all sorts of things which are not “I am a good/bad attractive/unattractive” person.










