U r wrong
“So my feelings are delusional and selfish, and I have nothing else going on my life? My feelings and everything I ever done for u was a result of a fantasy my delusion projected?” Thats the most hurtful and insulting thing u can say to someone. Why dont u think of urself falling for someone and getting everything u ever did done back to u? I did not ask for anything I did not need anything and yes I wanted much more. Do u think thats a fantasy to want unconditional mutual feelings? Well, thats the way love is to me. Love is not a game, fuck games. Love is being able to let go when it is unbearable because u need to love urself first before u capable of giving it. Love is someone wanting to choose u and choosing to stay because u made it clear that its easy to stay and leave. Love is when actions are having no conditions or begging, it is also all or nothing behaviour which includes dropping everything when u r in need, travelling around miles just to give u companionship, doing crazy stuff to surprise and cheer u up on really sad days. I m also not depressed or upset in particular, I learnt that when I faced the most depressive period of my life alone. I was so sad and depressed it felt miserable just to wake up, sleep was a better reality then. Then one day it occurred to me that no one else in the world was facing the miserable life I put my mind in, in other words no one else gave a shit, so thats when I wise up and chose to be happy rather than be miserable. If something doesnt make u happy, let it go is what I have learnt. Yes I cant escape feelings, I will still feel everything that means something but I can work with it instead by choosing determined hardwork over a miserable mindset to make my life happy again packed together with wiser choices from my life experiences. I still believe in fate, that everything was meant to be each step of the way in time. I clearly know now what I want in my life. People who dont make assumptions about me. People who appreciate and understand my sensitive heart and not telling me its hard to be around me. People who almost or matches my efforts the same unconditional way I give. People who value my time that I give to them. People who do what they say and not make me feel like a beggar on my birthday. People who want me in their life. Anything else, is that a part of me will always have feelings for u. Tq and goodbye, I will learn to live with it.