a/n: I have some thoughts, mind if I share?
These are just my opinions, essentially a glorified headcanon that’s attempting to be more objective than subjective. Some is based on my personal experience, some is just character analysis.
Take it as you will, or discard it as you please.
MDI! MDI! MDI! MDI!
Minors! Go. Read. Something. Else.
The Reality of Love with Leon
There’s a lot of canon/non-canon/headcanon/trashed-canon material on the man, but if there’s any reigning absolute - Leon would be difficult to love.
Leon and Weakness
Leon has his weaknesses. Everyone does! It’s human. Leon is forever an upright man. He is one of the best out there. He is in no way lesser because he’s human. If anything, his humanity is often his greatest strength.
What is that exactly?
Empathy.
Unfortunately, in this world, precious empathy is one of the easiest traits to use and abuse because it’s naturally self-sacrificing. Leon’s life is a prime and heartbreaking example.
We see the toll it takes on him, but besides the sassy one-liners, how does he actually cope?
Leon and Coping
Leon has two vices that have become coping mechanisms. Both have to be legal and outwardly socially acceptable per government eligibility. Leon has to stay employed, not just for money but also to protect his loved ones. If anything, his coping mechanisms probably aligned with a lot of the toxic masculinity found in that workplace environment. That’s not to say that Leon subscribes to toxic masculinity by any means. He’s quite the opposite. It’s just a convenient cover.
The first vice is booze. While it provides less of a relief, it’s less risky and less painful than the second option.
The second is sex. Leon is in no way a womanizer, but as an empath, he innately craves emotional intimacy. While the liquor is certainly nothing to scoff, this is the more damaging of the two vices.
Leon and Love
People tend to give whatever’s valuable in their eyes, much like a raven offering shiny buttons. Trust, permanency, devotion, respect, etc: these are all things Leon has sacrificed for the good of another over and over. But how often do we ever see others reciprocate these emotional sentiments?
I myself am an empathetic person, and I can say that there is a point where I’ve hit rock bottom due to an imbalance in giving and receiving. A major issue was that the desire for these things never left when I got to that point. If anything, the loneliness made me more desperate, and I started to grab at whatever supplement was available.
Thus, for Leon, desperation supplements emotional intimacy with physical intimacy.
It’s so interesting to rewatch content of this man. I find his on-screen flirting and romantic interactions to be oddly in-character yet out-of-character, like a collision of his nature vs. nurture tendencies. The man is awkward and dutifully faithful, yet he flirts with the most baddie, unavailable women (either emotionally or physically unavailable like some of them had partners).
By nature, I believe Leon is always a one-lady type of guy. Given that the rookie cop never seemed to die that day, I don’t think this dream is entirely dead either.
By nurture, he’s just very, very lost. At this stage, Leon is perhaps more comfortable accepting a type of love that doesn’t choose him completely.
Why?
1. Survivors' guilt.
“Why should I get this when they didn’t?”
Plain and simple. This is something that would haunt him throughout the healthiest of relationships, albeit it would be the most manageable struggle.
2. His job. On top of the BOW’s and countless people out for his blood, the government is an unspoken, looming threat in the RE universe. He would hate to bring someone into the spoken reality he witnesses.
One caveat to this could be if Leon was allotted some form of control to ease into the new arrangement. For example, if his partner agreed to keep the relationship private, it would allow him to control the narrative to-and-from the government for a season. However, how many people would be willing to be kept in the dark like that? Most people want to share their love life - post on social media, tell their families, go to work gatherings, meet each other's friends, etc. Leon would never ask for such trust and sacrifice from someone.
“My life is not normal.”
He’s had normalcy ripped from him, and he can’t imagine someone ripping it from themselves for him. Nonetheless, it’s still a more manageable struggle. Yes, it would take a massive effort. You would need to be clear and firm with him just as much as you need to be gentle, but in time, he could accept the tangible evidence of your satisfaction in the sacrifice. Laughter, joy, pleasure, silliness, peace…
“If I’ve learned anything, it’s that you can’t fake that kind of stuff… You can’t fake happiness.”
3. Finally, emotional vulnerability. As much as he wants it, it’s damaged. It’s the part of him that’s been toyed with the most, and it would be the hardest to overcome, so let’s dive in…
Leon and Emotional Vulnerability
Leon has had massive attacks on his empathy, but I want to highlight two of the more unmentioned instances because I think they would severely warp his ability to connect in a relationship.
1. I suspect that the possibility of some form of sexual misconduct towards Leon during that boot-camp training wasn’t zero.
Face it - he was a handsome young man in a crowd that had more than enough power over him to execute bad intentions. Outside of video game lore, it’s deplorable that there are real-life accounts of this happening to real-life individuals. I think RE:4 Leon (esp. remake) toughened-up to keep himself safe from many things.
“Sure, monsters are scary, but humans can be pretty fucking scary, too.”
Whether this is true or not, I’m sure he overall felt like a piece of meat. The evidence is in those side-by-side photos of RE2 and RE4 Leon. It was the start of being treated like an object instead of a person.
2. I think Leon’s been used by lovers. Remember, he’s desperate. At some point, he’ll reach the end of the bottle. The beer will sour, and it will take more to feel less. At some point, he’ll lean into his second vice, but recall the type of love Leon is seeking right now. You’re flirting with heartbreak, Leon Scott! 🤧
I’m not talking about the people in the canon universe. I’m talking about the random ones that filter in-and-out of his daily life. The ones who were more than happy to use his lonely heart and good looks as a gateway for a lucky hook-up. Some may have even been slanted towards monetary or professional gain.
The thing is… Leon is not a stupid man, nor is he an inexperienced one. He would be very well-aware of the game being played here. He just figures his intentions are no better than theirs.
“Can’t blame ‘em… Look at me.”
It's mutual use, so he’ll write off the pain.
But it fucking hurts.
Again, the rookie never died. There’s always a bit of his heart hoping for more. I think that the loneliness drove him not only to sleep with them, but also to trust them to a certain extent.
In RE2, it seems almost natural for Leon to get attached emotionally in an almost naive way. I imagine his younger years would have been full of heartbreak because it would often be one-sided.
To put it simply - I loved you more than you loved me.
I don’t care how buff and bold Leon can be - no one wants to feel like that. He can’t be unaffected.
Leon and Healthy Relationships
So, how does this all manifest in a long-term, prospective healthy relationship?
1. Emotional Disconnect
The facade of nonchalance? That bad ass sass? That coy attitude?
That’s a control mechanism on and off the battlefield. Making it seem like he doesn’t care is his way to take the power back. Nonchalance means there was nothing for them to steal in the first place. Anything else makes him feel foolish. In this case, he feels like a guppy swimming in a pool of sharks, and that type of powerlessness is a trigger.
As a result, intimacy has become more of a processed pleasure. He’s learned to remain in control by limiting the access people have to his emotions. This leads to the next point.
2. Physical Distance
There are certain things he’s trained not to do because it’s too risky for his emotional state. I know we joke about his cat-like tendencies, but really he would be like a skittish tomcat during intimacy.
For example, I think Leon’s legs are very sensitive, and he’d avoid people touching them. It’s not that he doesn’t enjoy the touch, rather he very much enjoys it. It’s just very sensitive, very personal, and very close to his crouch…
People don’t play nice in a fight. I’m sure he’s been intentionally kicked or grabbed in the nuts during a brawl. It hurts, it doesn’t feel good, but worse - it’s an uncontrollable pain. It steals all breath and sense and control from him. Anything dealing with the southern hemisphere requires emotional vulnerability.
Another example would be receiving oral. Yes, he really wants it, but allowing someone to be that close requires trust on his behalf. Plus, it's a near guarantee for him to get lost in the moment during any type of receiving. His mind wanders, and his reactions are raw and unfiltered.
Thus, hook-ups are probably just centered around intercourse. Here, he’s focused on the act. It keeps his mind busy from fantasizing and sentimentalizing the moment.
Even if he’s in a solid relationship, he’s grown accustomed to having distance. That’s not to say he doesn’t want to be close. Not at all! Once he realizes he can safely have that emotional and physical bond, his starved heart would lean into it immediately. He just needs to get his heart and head in the same place. He’d essentially have to unlearn his nurture and relearn his nature.
This is all to say…
By the time a real partner comes along, it would take a lot of patience, commitment, time, and effort to get him love genuinely.
However, once you reach that point, the love would be beautiful.
I think a lot of us would deem him worth the fight. Just like he believes this world can change, I believe he can change, too. Sure, loving Leon is difficult, but certainly not impossible.
divider: @saradika-graphics
Did you make it this far? Wow, trooper. Thanks for reading!
