#indi speaks

[letmehavetheusernameiwantpls]

i spent the last 2 and a half hours writing and responding to emails and paying bills, and i STILL have to clean my room and catch up on assignments and practice and get ready for tomorrow why is there so much to do all of the time

where is my pat on the back and my "good job indi," or "you did good work indi, now take a break" HUH ?

i want to play genshin impact and see my skrunklies again. 4ggravate my beloveds !! i want to play the new fontaine quest, and i want to meet the characters i've heard so much about. i want to sit down and throw myself into genshin's lore so i can flesh out my ocs and i want to make blogs for them and art for them and write for them. i want to meet others who are also caught in a death grip by their genshin hyperfixations.

i want to play the legend of zelda games. ALL OF THEM. twilight princess is my favorite so far. i want to pay the mario games. super mario galaxy, my beloved. i can remember all of the positive feelings associated with being lost in those worlds and having something to attach myself to because if i didn't i was merely a floating void.

i want to reread the countless books that i know someone in my system read years ago because i want to see the stories that they fell in love with. i want to see what external factors had a positive effect on them and how it contributed to their development, and i want to understand how that correlates to my existence today. i want to unlock my OWN LORE

i want to explore my headspace. i know it has changed since our last host was present, i've seen my reflection once and was denied access to it again AUGH

i want to research everything. the lil jelly in my header. the laws of physics. philosophy. astronomy. how light works. how sound works. chemistry. history. woodworking. pottery. archaeology. i want to go to art museums and aquariums and i want to go to cultural festivals and experience everything the world has to offer. i want to experiment. i want to conduct hypotheses and experiments. i want to learn how to cook persian dishes because of my ancestry. i want to learn how to sew and seam and restore things. i want to study archaeology and etiology. i want to see how the world has evolved.

i want to study masaru emoto's concept of hado water and the theory of how water's molecular structure is impacted by the human consciousness.

i want to study animals and their involvement in the ecosystem. i want to learn how to ride horses and care for them. i want to learn how to play every instrument on the face of this planet. i want to take classes and do field work i conservation. i want to learn how to forage. i want to know how i can live off of the land and give back to the earth in return

i want to grow a garden.

i want to learn how the human brain works. i want to study psychology and the brain's structure and it's ways of working.

i want to study humans and animals and how they form relationships. i want to learn how those relationships are managed and what environmental factors contribute to their success or failure.

i want to know what led to the perception of time. what was life like before clocks and before sundials? how did they perceive time ?

i want to learn how wayfaring came to be and how to do it myself

i want to see the world without modern technology.

i want to LEARN.

but classes cost money. money that i don't have. what i do have is rapidly taken from me because others want more.

and all of these things also take time that i simply don't have. because i am tethered to one body and all of its limitations, physically, mentally, socially, and environmentally. i am forced to live the life of a collective consciousness. something that should be a person but ultimately is not because that person was shattered into pieces. and yet those pieces want their own lives and their own things.

i will never have the opportunity be a part of that sonething bigger. i will never see what the ceramic bowl should have looked like when it was whole because i am a piece of it.

but what if that ceramic bowl was reduced back down to the clay from which it was originally built and pieces of that clay were taken to build something completely new ? take some pieces and mould them into a new bowl? or something smaller. a cup. a measuring spoon.

something derived from the original, and yet completely new in its own right.

i will never be the original. i myself could be broken down further or recycled into someone completely new. my existence is not guaranteed. and as fascinating as that it, it also hurts.

[indigosandviolets]

Psyche Revived by Cupid’s Kiss

(prints, stickers, and the like available on my Redbubble!)

if you can’t get any, please reblog! it helps so much more than you would ever know <3

[xmilitisx]

In two years, I drifted to Texas. 

I disconnected, and set down roots. I became a willow branch, swaying and touching the ground- with leaves that fluttered lightly on the breeze. I learned how to read the drumming pulse, dancing up the cracked asphalt roads. I wavered in drought heat, sweating out the impurities of my sorrows.

I cracked and crumbled, pale in the limestone of my own faults. I learned about the mesquite and the rattlesnakes, the lizards in the trees with their watching eyes. I painted myself in sweat and determination, bathed in disappointment and heartbreak. 

And still, in the dry rivermud of my skin and the pulse of my heart. 

I learned, and I listened. 

They came, when I waited. They stand at the edges of vision, in and out like a mirage. Hands outstretched and in pockets- faces turned towards. But never clear. They touch and they graze, and I feel their arms around me as the fine hairs raise and lower.

A thin ambrosia on my lips. 

I’m older now, the folly of youth still in front of me, and a stretch of it in footprints in fading sand behind. 

And still, I cast my stones and I read my cards. 

And they still speak, wavered words in my ears—

the ones who came before. 

[indi-flying-with-dragons]

I got tagged by the wonderful and amazing @amariemelody to say 5 nice things about myself and tag 10 people. We'll see how this goes! :)

1. I'm an amazing artist. :D

2. I write awesome books.

3. I have a beautiful smile.

4. I make funny jokes.

5. I have a great imagination! :D

 Now I'll tag @destan-of-the-shadows @faes-hiding-place @feathery-bookmarks @kaththedragon @wirsindkrieg @hsavinien @furious-spartan @great-eagle @lunishel @pallanophblargh

[indigosandviolets]

me, watching anything with my parents:

tv show character: *is from BoB*

me, trying desperately to not think about BoB: fuck

[indigosandviolets]

my theories for what the cut BoB episodes could have been

one inbetween Carentan and Replacements where we would’ve seen Babe’s “Darling Doris” and not getting to jump

between The Last Patrol and Why We Fight, because there’s a lot of time within the jump in the two episodes. i think we could have explored the Liebgott/Webster dynamic more and they jump from Liebgott just being constantly annoyed at Web to somewhat — “somewhat” — tolerating him, and we also could’ve seen Webster fully getting back into Easy Company because even though he was at Toccoa, he was actually pretty alienated because he was one of the only guys who really “came back”

this one isn’t really an episode even though it could be but probably Luz finally fucking breaking and dealing with what he’s seen. we don’t see him break from being “Luz” very often, and i think that would be really interesting because then we wouldn’t be seeing Luz, but George. Luz lost his best friends, and we don’t see him deal with that at all. this would probably be between The Breaking Point and The Last Patrol

there also could’ve easily been another episode in the events of Crossroads. we could’ve seen what Tab did with Trigger. or just seen more of Tab. would i want an episode on Tab? you bet your sweet asscheeks i do.

this isn’t an episode but seeing everyone Buck’s in command of adjusting to him? i think that could have easily been a scene

please feel free to add on! i want to see everyone’s ideas lmao and then send them all to Tom Hanks to make him release them for the 20th anniversary (or just in general? that would be nice?)

[indigosandviolets]

mlm trans masc things they don’t talk about enough: do i have a crush on this character because i want to fuck them or because i want to look like them or both? or am i just a bottom??

[indigosandviolets]

imagine gen kill but if it had modern twitter vocab because Ray Person would say shit like : “homes, this shit fuckin’ slaps!” or “you know avril levine hits DIFFERENT”